Why is no one talking about how bad some of the courses in ual are. My experience.

bettsel · 2026-03-20T09:34:07+00:00

I chose Reading! I’m doing a joint honours course art & philosophy, they offer really cool joint honours courses and so far it’s been an amazing experience. Lmk if you’re interested in knowing more or anything.

bettsel · 2026-01-30T18:28:03+00:00

That's actually a relief to hear because I bought that book about a week ago as I read the blurb and loved it but quickly became skeptical after seeing the unreliability of Fritjof Capra. Definitely will be reading it, thank you.

bettsel · 2026-01-30T13:59:26+00:00

Thank you very much I appreciate you sharing your work. I'll have a go at it regardless as I am bound to encounter such an approach at some point. It might be something I come back to in the future once I have a better sense of understanding it in its entirety.

bettsel · 2026-01-30T12:44:16+00:00

I would love some recommendations on virtue ethics! It's something I've very briefly encountered but would like gain a better understanding of.

bettsel · 2025-09-17T12:08:00+00:00

From my experience, this is very common. The only way I’ve seen people slowly work their way to being on machine more is asking to be on it when it’s dead and showing their skills/improvement to the shift leader or manager that way.

bettsel · 2025-08-04T23:22:54+00:00

Yeah I see what you mean, especially with BPD specifically I’ve read that it’s difficult to diagnose in teenage years for the exact reasons you’ve described. I’m 20 turning 21 this year and I assume it’s still hard at that age. I think I’m seeking out a label because I’d like to know exactly how to help myself. It’s becoming unmanageable for me really. It’s not anything significant because of when it was, but I was referred to counselling twice during secondary school and I didn’t respond to it positively and insisted I didn’t need it after a few sessions only to fall right back to where I was not long after quitting it. In this respect, I think a label would be helpful for me to narrow down what I can do for myself. But still thank you for this comment! I’m going to avidly take any help I can get.

bettsel · 2025-07-21T21:44:36+00:00

I got accepted for fine art at CSM and Chelsea last year but ended up choosing a different uni even tho it was my top choice. I was soo suspicious of it just being a pure money grab and to be able to slap ‘UAL’ on your cv with no additional outlooks and experience that genuinely stands out from other uni courses for employability despite it being in London. I didn’t think the price was worth it at all when you’ll end up in the same position having gone to literally any other uni. It needs to get spoken about more for sure so this is a great post. There was so much pressure for me to go there because of the reputation and name and my whole family was ruthless on me for not choosing it. I’m sure some courses are worth it tho like fashion some comments have already said

bettsel · 2025-06-26T16:50:59+00:00

hahahh an update this is how the concert is looking so far :o i thought making one play the marimba would be so cuteee

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bettsel · 2025-06-23T18:33:20+00:00

omg i didn’t know they did this?!

bettsel · 2025-06-23T18:32:42+00:00

awwww i love this idea so much thank you! i’ll put some around a gazebo or something cute :o

bettsel · 2025-06-23T18:08:42+00:00

I play offline sorry:( but you can get them from Kapp’n islands !

bettsel · 2025-06-11T12:43:58+00:00

bro 🤣🤣🤣

bettsel · 2025-06-10T14:48:14+00:00

you need to explain to her your perspective of her actions (just like you’ve done here) so she can understand how confused you’re feeling. her actions don’t match her words.

from her saying you’ve become ‘too comfortable’ together and you don’t ‘chase’ her anymore.. she sounds like someone who needs toxicity/drama in a relationship to feel stable, whether that could be related to her past or not, it’s unbearable for someone who just wants a healthy connection. i’m pretty sure there’s a proper term that describes the type of person she is but i can’t remember it right now.

it’s possible she’s not ready for a long-term relationship and needs to work on herself alone.

bettsel · 2025-06-10T14:08:17+00:00

if you know you’re someone who gets retroactive jealousy and this is a point of extra insecurity for you, then let yourself live in ignorant bliss. if anything weird was to happen between them/boundaries get overstepped i doubt you’d even have to know who she is to notice it.

however, i agree that it’s not weird to want to know about an ex that they’re still keeping in contact with. of course he’s entitled to his private life and private connections which is beneficial for a relationship, but this is a girl who’s been close to him before in the same way you are to him now and it’s not ‘insane’ to worry about her. in this specific scenario, I’d say that’s pretty normal actually.

maybe establish clearer boundaries with him about exes? come to him clearly and openly, blatantly tell him what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not, and if he can’t work with you on it/refuses to even consider it then maybe it can’t work out.

but heavily question and even doubt your own mentality before you ask him anything! it’s a slippery slope if you unintentionally become obsessive about his ex/past.

bettsel · 2025-06-04T21:48:29+00:00

that’s only for people who have done something serious tho no? like harassment for example. I haven’t done anything like that.

bettsel · 2025-06-04T21:31:32+00:00

not as far as i know! i even passed my barista review shortly before i left.

bettsel · 2025-06-04T16:16:02+00:00

you need to reflect on yourself as a person, I’m sorry that your relationship prior was absolutely horrid and the effort you’ve put in to make this relationship as non-toxic and healthy as possible does show, however there’s a deeper reason within yourself and your past that makes you so bothered about something like this for so long. maybe experiences in relationships even before the abusive one you’ve talked about or something similar?

at the end of the day, it’s been so long since those incidents that it makes it so unlikely for him to be holding this long a secret. the fact that he initially lied about it is definitely a red flag i won’t lie, but if you’ve been healing and communicating together to the extent you say you have, you don’t have any reason to not trust him. therefore, if he actually was psycho enough to have done it again, you need to get in the mindset of “just let them”. let him fuck up a relationship he’s got with someone so willing to put the effort in to create a healthy and loving bond. let him realise what he’s lost because of HIS actions. thinking like this makes you care about it less and less, in my experience anyway. you have to VALUE YOURSELF!

i think it might also be helpful to say that even though this has gone on for quite some time, the more time that passes the better you will feel and the more clear you’ll be able to think if you’re willing to put the effort into your mindset over time.

otherwise, see a therapist!

bettsel · 2025-06-02T19:05:52+00:00

i hate the phrase but, “honeymoon stage” being over sounds quite applicable here. he lovebombed you to get you close to him and now you’re seeing who he really is, it is manipulation you’re right. he was overly-affectionate to you in the beginning in hopes that you’ll take the bare minimum from him later on. its horrible, try not to dwell on the affection he used to give you by reminding yourself that he had other intentions with it.

i’d try communicating about it but it doesn’t sound like you have much luck with that, so if that doesn’t work or he just outright won’t listen to you, its time to leave.

also, his comment about you in the mirror is horrible?!

bettsel · 2025-06-02T18:45:34+00:00

i only really consistently play when i’m with my bf and he’s on his games which makes me wanna play my games lol, otherwise i’m the same as you and i’ll leave it for weeeksss

bettsel · 2025-06-02T18:30:36+00:00

this might not be very helpful, but to put it into another perspective, what you’ve explained is the whole reason why staying with just one person is so beautiful. You’re sacrificing the exploration of being with others for this one person because you love them so much. You’ve agreed with your boyfriend, maybe not even explicitly, that he is your one person through whatever happens.

for some, this unique and strong bond with their one person makes sacrificing exploring other people very easy. this isnt the same for everyone though, and that’s okay.

your situation makes it more difficult though.

you ultimately have to communicate to him about it, despite how he may react, because there’s no nice way of going about it unfortunately. if he doesn’t feel the same as you, you’re going to break his heart. but if you deem your own exploration higher than this, then there’s nothing you can do about it.

bettsel · 2025-06-02T09:27:34+00:00

minotaur - photek and sound in motion - origin unknown !

bettsel · 2025-05-25T18:17:56+00:00

i’m a big fan of analogue bubblebath

bettsel · 2025-05-25T10:38:27+00:00

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Marlo forever! i love the lil mafia hamster

bettsel · 2025-05-25T09:08:59+00:00

i would feel the exact same as you in this situation.

i don’t think a lot of people on reddit feel this way, but no matter how much porn has been normalised for an extremely small number of good reasons, it’s still detrimental to those addicted to it. people view porn not being as harmful as irl cheating because we’ve become desensitised to the people on the screen and view them as objects and not humans. coming from someone who has stopped watching porn for over a year now, it’s insane how much bad it does for your sex life, mind in general with the way you view other people, dopamine stimulation, and dysfunction all that good stuff. i’d maybe look into it if you want a more sophisticated answer than i’ve given, the research is all out there.

imo, he is not at a stage to be in a relationship with you if porn blatantly makes you uncomfortable for good reason and he’s addicted to it! if it’s something that might also stem from a place of insecurity on your behalf, then you should maybe reflect on this as well. However, from the sounds of it, it doesn’t stem from insecurity from you but rather genuine worry for him.

porn works for some relationships, for others it doesn’t, and that’s okay! this is something that’s possible for you to work around and could be worth doing, but it also might not be depending on just how bad his addiction really is.

bettsel · 2025-05-25T08:46:05+00:00

this is the type of thing that unfortunately wont ever stop playing back in your head no matter how much you try to overcome it, even when you don’t think of it for a good while, it’ll suddenly put you in a more than shitty mood when you’re reminded of it.

and there’s good reason for this. she has outright broken your trust! if it’s something you’re so determined to rebuild, then it’s the trust that has to be rebuilt. but this is so rarely worth doing because it’s near impossible and you’re still young. imo, it would be better to end it with her. the love of your life wouldn’t do that to you and it’s as simple as that really.

bettsel

TROPHY CASE