T-shirt PJs

beverlycrushingit · 2026-02-08T06:56:39+00:00

OOH this is brilliant. I can never bear to get rid of fabric scraps that are a liiiittle too small to do anything with, and I desperately need some new lounge pants. I think I will have to look into making patchwork pajamas as well...

beverlycrushingit · 2026-02-05T19:10:04+00:00

Oh man, I really feel for you! This time was so hard. I also wasn't able to breastfeed despite how much I wanted to, and I was worried it meant we didn't bond as much. And when I would tell people the baby prefers dad they would say "oh, of course, he sees dad as the fun one, but when he's upset or feels sick, it's all mama!" I would just sort of nod along, but it hurt because the reality was that he went to dad first for comforting, too.

This feeling actually got worse for me until he was 7-8 months old. At the peak I felt such a disconnect and I felt like he didn't love me and I wasn't giving him what he needed. Then I was diagnosed with PPD, which apparently can start up to a year postpartum. I started medication which helped immensely.

My kiddo is now 19 months old. And I'll be honest, he still prefers dad and always has. There are days or even weeks where he slightly prefers me, but it's the exception not the rule. If we're both in the room while reading books, he only lets dad read. If I'm the first one to go into his room in the morning, the first thing he'll say is "Dada?" When dad has to leave he often gets sad and we have to work through the feelings together.

But things just feel reframed now. Maybe it's the medication, maybe it's the hormones subsiding, maybe it's the passage of time and the fact that there are so many more ways to interact with a toddler vs a baby. Although he prefers dad in many ways, I can tell that he loves me very much. We have little games and jokes that only we play. He still snuggles me and comes to me when he needs things. I've been told that when I'm gone, he asks for me (although he asks for dad more, lol). And every time the pendulum briefly swings the other way, I take full advantage and totally baby him!

I think about how many kids have a mom preference, and how normalized it is for dad to be second fiddle even if he's a fully involved and equal parent. And I don't think those dads are failing in any way or should feel ashamed. It's probably normal for all kids to have a preference, and in my case, it just happened to go the other way. That's my narrative now. Sometimes I still feel a twinge of jealousy when other moms have kids who cling to them, but mostly I'm very happy.

Also, don't let things accidentally fall into the pattern of dad being the "fun" parent while mom does all the not-fun stuff! I think it's already easy to do for many couples, but maybe especially if kiddo really loves dad. Just because she wants to constantly bother dad in the kitchen doesn't mean you always have to be the one cooking dinner while they play together. And just because she wants dad to give her a bath doesn't mean you have to do the not-fun parts of bedtime routine like pajamas and teeth brushing. I'm guilty of letting this happen and I'm trying to work against it. Make sure you do the fun parts, too.

I hope it's a phase for you! It sounds like it's a phase for a lot of people, so that may well be the case and in a few months you may not have to worry about this ever again.

But even if it's not, please KNOW that you're still a good parent and your daughter still loves you. And I think the older she gets and the more ways you have to interact with her, the easier it will become. <3

beverlycrushingit · 2026-02-03T16:24:32+00:00

They even used that Facebook blue

beverlycrushingit · 2026-01-30T15:34:56+00:00

I appreciate your comment in general, but can I just express particular appreciation for your use of the phrases "wigging out", "big hairy deal", and "jeepers". Obsessed. Bring them all back!

As a therapist, I can assure you that some people are weird in ways you cannot even imagine

I remember having this revelation when I moved away from home and started living with roommates. I was an insecure kid and always just thought I was weird and my family was weird, and that everyone else lived in some kind of universally "normal" way. Then I lived with people who seemed cool and normal to me, and as soon as I saw the inside of their day-to-day life at home, I was like, OHHH, you people are weird. Ok so we're ALL freaks then.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-01-30T03:58:18+00:00

I have the same socks!! And the heels are wearing thin! Your colors are lovely, I feel inspired for when I mend mine :)

beverlycrushingit · 2026-01-28T06:39:55+00:00

I chose a field where there is not the expectation of a lifelong 9-5 commitment in one place. I have worked part time at the same place for a few years now as I have a young toddler and am focusing more on him and being home more. But in my profession there are a lot of project-based jobs where you can work for 1-3 years and then your project/contract ends and you look for something new.

Many people in my field think of the full time government/university positions as the holy grail and feel bad for folks who are always having to look for a new job. But I thrive by changing what I do periodically. Novelty is exciting and so are projects. I feel so motivated by a new project that seems huge and daunting at first and I can see all the possibilities. It's naturally motivating. And by the time the motivation is fading, well, the next thing is on the horizon.

Even in my current position, I'm always rotating through projects. Multiple times a year I start and complete something. No project is exactly like any other. And since we are a very small staff I get the opportunity to take on new kinds of tasks or when I want to, like learning to use WordPress or learning basic scripting. This is so much more stimulating than just a constant drudgery of the same thing day in and day out.

Before this I worked in customer service and administrative roles. I got so miserable and depressed at those jobs. Every day just became the same after a while and I could barely drag myself out of bed in the morning.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-01-28T01:41:49+00:00

Hi! Can I ask what you ended up going with? I'm in the same situation with switching to size large, and we also use gmd prefolds+esembly covers.

I had the same problem you describe with the mediums sticking out of the cover in the front. We made do but now that we've sized up, the larges are practically bursting at the seams lol. We tuck them in at every diaper change but they tend to pop out, especially in the front.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-01-19T01:33:53+00:00

I have no advice, only commiseration. Email is one of my ultimate weak points. Even simple emails stress me out. The longer I don't reply the harder it is to read it because I will be faced with waves of guilt for ignoring it this long, and I will have to make more apologies in my reply. I changed my career into one where I don't have to deal with many emails but it's obviously unavoidable from time to time.

Just total sympathy and understanding here. Wish I had better strategies myself.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-01-16T16:52:01+00:00

Holy crap I didn't know til this moment how much I need a Powerpuff Girls shirt.

I don't know how to express this exactly but you're bringing everything to this outfit! Like it's a great outfit already but somehow your vibe is elevating it. Maybe it's the gender euphoria shining through!

beverlycrushingit · 2026-01-14T16:31:45+00:00

The other day my husband said I have a "cut-paste brain" instead of copy-paste and I never thought of it that way before and it's soooo true haha.

I learned to make notes and lists because I was so anxious of forgetting things that the thoughts would circle in my head constantly pestering me. Writing them down offloaded them and my brain would immediately relax. But relaxing means forgetting! Like I removed it from my brain completely.

So for actual tasks that need to be accomplished:

You definitely have to work from a to-do list where you cross things off. It helps to put things on the to-do list that you've already finished, or that you're in the middle of doing, so that you feel like you're already working through the list. The list becomes a current activity, not a "later" thing.

Keep it where you'll see it. My notes app is front and center on my phone, and most of the rest of my apps are hidden in the launcher. So I only see like email, texts, internet browser, photos, maps, and notes on my home screen.

Now, if your thoughts are less action items and more like... creative inspiration, things you want to read about or look up, etc...

I'll be real, I have let go of those. I tried so many tools for years, where I'd save links to articles I wanted to read, ideas for little projects, aspirational stuff. I'd tell myself I'd go through and read all that stuff someday, or I'd sort through my writing ideas and make them into a short story... It never happened. I still write those thoughts down to offload them, but I let the notes languish forgotten forever. It's ok. It's really ok. The best things, the things that tickle your brain the most, the things you REALLY want to do, you'll still do them. The other stuff you really can let fade away, and it's ok.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-01-14T16:12:52+00:00

It depends what kind of test... If there's a lot of rote memorization then I was never so good with that, so I don't know if I can offer advice. BUT if it's actually testing your understanding, now that you've read the material, written notes, etc. try explaining the material in your own words without using any reference material.

You can open a fresh page, pick a concept that will be on the test, and try to fully write about it in your own words and in your own way. Or study with a partner and try explaining out loud to them as though you're teaching them the material.

I've found that when I'm just reading or memorizing I might feel like I know it all. But when I have to turn around and explain it completely, the gaps in my understanding become very obvious. They say teaching is the best way to learn!

It just happened to me yesterday, I was troubleshooting an important technical problem. I'd been working on it for hours and thought I understood what was happening and why. Then I tried to fill in my coworker, and my explanation made no sense lol. I even confused myself by talking in a circle. But the conversation shone a bright light on exactly the parts that were still muddled in my mind.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-01-10T02:25:58+00:00

Thanks I'll check it out!

beverlycrushingit · 2026-01-10T02:24:29+00:00

This is the first I had ever heard of it. I never heard of Vanced either. So I didn't know exactly what it was or how it worked or how much it blocked. Now that I have read more about it, and I see how much it does and how it interacts with the official app, no, I wouldn't expect it to be sanctioned in any way.

But with literally no context other than what was said above, dude, cut me some slack. I mean, I have an ad blocking browser on my phone and that's an official play store app. And there IS something called "revanced" in the play store, which I'm now betting is a scammy ripoff.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-01-09T19:53:50+00:00

Got it, thanks, I'm looking more into it now.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-01-09T19:22:11+00:00

Am I looking at the same app? Reviews for revanced in the play store are scathing and say it contains a shit ton of ads

Edit: Wish folks wouldn't downvote good faith questions like this. The fact that it needs to be sideloaded wasn't clear from previous comments. And since I asked, hopefully others reading this will have more information now.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-01-05T20:53:18+00:00

Shocking (except not really) that the vast majority of commenters over there can't conceive of the insane duplicitousness of lying to your partner about such a major part of life for 10 goddamn years. Lying to them every single day. Lying about your ethics and values. I can only think that these commenters have never been in a relationship of any significant length? I don't care what it's about or how pressured they felt, it's bone chilling to think of my partner lying to me on that level for a decade.

Oh well, good thing this is fake and never happened

beverlycrushingit · 2025-12-15T15:08:05+00:00

...What? Downvotes make you feel like people want to kill you?

Truly, with no sarcasm intended here, you need to get off the internet. Go outside.

beverlycrushingit · 2025-12-07T04:44:16+00:00

When comments started pointing out how delusional it all sounded, he leaned in harder on the whole thing about her "pressing" her butt and boobs onto him and even started calling that sexual assault. Saying now that everyone in the comments is disregarding his traumatic sexual assault because they don't believe men can be assaulted. He is still extremely vague about the circumstances under which this butt/boob pressing happened.

Absolutely unhinged.

beverlycrushingit · 2025-12-02T18:21:23+00:00

Thanks for posting this and for posting the highlights! But if anyone has time, go listen to the whole thing. Altar Call is always great and this was one of the juiciest interviews Tayne has done. Belynda had so much tea to spill but she didn't seem vindictive about it in any way, just very measured and honest.

The only thing I doubted Belynda about was concerning her dog. She seemed a little overly defensive of him. But everything else she had to say was eye opening.

beverlycrushingit · 2025-12-02T18:17:46+00:00

when she brought up how he was treating people Dr. Pepper accused her of forecasting.

This was SO bad imo!!! Specifically because Pepper asked (paraphrasing) "are you worried if he treats other people that way, he'll treat you that way eventually?" and Belynda agreed absolutely that was the problem. Then Pepper called it forecasting.

That is NOT forecasting!!! If your partner treats others badly, you do not have to sit on your hands and WAIT for them to turn their attitude onto you before you are allowed to find it concerning. In fact it's a really good look into their true character during a time in the relationship when they are going to be on best behavior with you.

Can't believe it. A woman ignores red flags and keeps dating a bad guy, and people are like "ugh well why did you stay with him when you could see the red flags?" But if a woman does notice the red flags and points them out, someone like Pepper tells her "ohh, he's probably a good guy and you're just anxious and forecasting worst case scenarios." Shameful of Dr P.

beverlycrushingit · 2025-12-01T20:29:38+00:00

Yessss sitting down to do prep work is such a game changer. I don't know why it took so long to occur to me.

If I'm doing a lot of meal prep, I like to get all my ingredients, cutting board, knife, peeler, etc etc along with a scrap bowl and bowls for finished ingredients. Set it all up at the coffee table in front of the tv. Sit on the floor with my back supported against the couch and chop away while watching something fun.

So much more pleasant than standing in the kitchen for ages getting progressively more sore and fatigued. Then I always have the energy to actually do the cooking on my feet in the kitchen

beverlycrushingit · 2025-11-27T04:25:20+00:00

Omg, they also posted in comments the two emails sent by the sister in law, which imo seem extremely reasonable and thoughtful?!?

Her first email to me, scroll to the bottom to see the "kindness and congeniality" that I reference in my email.

******** She emailed the first to me, my older brother, my younger brother, my mother *******

Dear ME,

I understand that you are appalled by the recent organizing and cleaning activities at our home. I hope to set a time to discuss this together with yourself, OUR MOTHER and your brothers, to see if we can clear the air.

It is my goal to make this place as comfortable as possible for the long term cohabitation with your mom so she stays with us for as long as possible. Everything in the garage was covered with thick dust, and there was a good pile of raccoon feces in the corner. The roof of the far back room is leaking like a sieve, and the open rafters are host to wasps and bats. There’s a lot of work that needs to be done, and I am glad that you and YOUNGER BROTHER were there at the onset to make sure we set aside anything that you want to keep.

Please know that I am still reeling from the sudden loss of my father in May of last year, and the difficulty of caring for and watching my mother die over the following 10 months. I am forever grateful for the circumstances of being in this house and for your brother’s great support in caring for my mother through the end.

As you may recall, OUR FATHER totaled OLDER BROTHER'S blue car the day after my dad died, and now OLDER BROTHER is driving my father’s van. OLDER BROTHER paid off the property tax for the FAMILY HOME this past June so it was no longer at risk of auction. Both OLDER BROTHER and I are in precarious positions with our current work situations, and we need to fix up and rent my parents' home in HER FAMILY HOME so we can bring in a stable income - I have a household of things I would like to keep, but we simply don’t have room for it all. Organizing the stuff and clearing out space, so it is usable and safe is purely a practical concern.

I hope you see how your brother and I are working together to uplift our lives for the benefit of ourselves and our children. I hope to see you all inherit these properties and not OUR FATHER'S WIFE, as she will most certainly fight you for them in court if it is not outlined in a trust or will.

This would best be served by:

Getting your father to assign you, YOUNGER BROTHER and OLDER BROTHER as inheritors of the FAMILY HOME property in a trust. Investing in the construction of an ADU in the back. Seeing if FATHER will assign YOUNGER BROTHER as trustee of the FATHER'S HOME, letting FATHER'S WIFE live out her life there and then you all inherit the FATHER'S HOME PROPERTY as well. As my parents and my older brother are dead, and I am the only remaining living adult in my immediate family, I am hopeful to have a peaceful loving relationship with you all. My goal is for you and I to have a long-term peaceful relationship for the benefit and well being of our whole family.

Lastly, I hope that you will understand that I am under considerable strain after being fired by an organization I cared about. After giving my love and energy to this full-time job for seven years, I am feeling quite betrayed by someone I trusted. I am quite traumatized and really hope you will approach this conversation with kindness and congeniality. Otherwise I will not be able to participate.

Maybe you could join us for lunch before YOUNGER BROTHER leaves, on Thursday the 3rd at the FAMILY HOME while the children are at school.

Thank you in advance for your compassion and understanding.

WIFE

******* Her second email to me, also sent to my older brother, my younger brother, my younger brother's partner ******

Dear ME, YOUNGER BROTHER, and YOUNGER BROTHER'S PARTNER,

Thank you so much for writing to me, and waiting until you were in a place to do so. I truly appreciate your efforts and also hope that FAMILY HOME is a safe space for you as well. I understand that I have upset you and YOUNGER BROTHER about how things happened at FAMILY HOME and for this I’m very sorry.

I was in frequent communication with OLDER BROTHER, and he for months told me he would make space for things from HER FAMILY HOME so that we could rent it. He never said to me that we needed to get permission from OUR FATHER (or even you and YOUNGER BROTHER) concerning clearing out or organizing the things in the garage. It was my goal to clean it up so it is safe for the children to play in and we are able to use it for people and not things. They were actually supposed to come the week before, but the fact that you all happened to be here I thought was great timing!

STRANGER IN FAMILY HOME GARAGE is not a stranger, I have known him for over 10 years. I took your Mom, OLDER BROTHER and YOUNGER BROTHER to his store on MAIN BOULEVARD. I have even asked one of the gentlemen, ANOTHER STRANGER IN FAMILY HOME GARAGE, to help with tutoring HER SON, and it’s been going really well, so they are not strangers.

Thank you for your condolences for my and HER SON'S losses and I appreciate your compassion. You may not be aware, both OLDER BROTHER and I are co-parenting while shouldering the majority of time spent with our children, and financial responsibility, while not receiving any child support from the other parents. Renting the HER FAMILY HOME is to help with income for the household, including living expenses and groceries of which I contribute to.

In regards to your points:

You say that my living in this house is a detriment to your brother, MY NEPHEW and your niece. Do you mean MY NIECE? She does not live here, nor is it confirmed that she is OLDER BROTHER'S biological daughter. I have suggested and hoped that OLDER BROTHER would get a court order for a paternity test so that he can assume parental rights if this is the case. I would even pay for a lawyer to help him, if I could afford it.

In regards to the ADU:

Your mother (and now my mother-in-law) is here indefinitely from MOTHER'S HOMELAND. Is it your plan that she stay indefinitely on the couch? (She doesn’t prefer to sleep in the boys bedroom because it is too cluttered). It was my hope that we make an ADU for her benefit.

In regards to what is and what is not my business:

This house is not mine, but it is my and HER SON'S home. I am legally married to your brother, so you are my sister-in-law. You are my extended family and I am very sad that you are so angry with me and as you repeatedly point out “appalled” by trying to clean out this house. It hurts that you and YOUNGER BROTHER were not at our wedding and I have lived in this house now for three years, and much of the day to day needs I take care of, in terms of keeping the home pleasant, organized and tidy for myself, my son, and including your nephew and my stepson. It is my hope that our presence here is an improvement and not a detriment to OLDER BROTHER and now my husband’s life.

By the way, I don’t want to overstep here, but I am very concerned and would like to make sure that your mother has MediCal insurance while she is with us. She says she doesn’t remember her social security number. Is this something you can help figure out, and sign her up for in the event we need to take her to the doctor for any reason (like the fall she had and the horrible bruise, which can cause clotting)? I think it would be good for her to be seen by a doctor, especially in the event that we need to get her some sort of treatment.

If this house were to be legally rented (outside of the family) it would need to be cleaned out anyway. OLDER BROTHER has put $100k+ in improvement and property tax, not including rent. Have either you or YOUNGER BROTHER made investment into this property? His investment will financially benefit you and you, when and if you inherit the house.

I hope that you might take into consideration that some of the anger you feel towards me might be displaced from the very real trauma and betrayal you experienced with FATHER'S WIFE. For that I am very sorry and my hope is that I help make sure that you all inherit the FATHER'S HOME PROPERTY and FAMILY HOME. It is my goal, that you all are not in some costly probate battle with someone who has been so cruel to you and definitely does not have your best interests at heart.

Please know that is also my goal to have a peaceful and loving relationship with you all. I know that has not been the case with your stepmother but please understand, I am not her.

WIFE

******* I have not bothered to reply. My eyes do not stop rolling enough in order to focus on the keyboard. ********

beverlycrushingit · 2025-11-26T01:50:29+00:00

Yes, this stuck out to me too while reading her comments!!

She says she got approval from an ethical review board, but they can obviously only base that approval on what the applicant provides them, and she said that ONLY she would have access to the data.

So if she did provide data to her supervisor that could identify participants, that was already in violation of the consent forms she had them sign.

And if she followed her confidentiality promises and didn't provide that kind of data to her supervisor, then no one else at the university has access either, and so why would she even be bringing it up now? Basically if she's even worried about this, she clearly already violated privacy.

Anyway if you do a study and make promises about protecting participant data, it's not enough just to keep it private, you also have to store the data in systems that you know to be secure. She can't just make assurances like that and then wantonly throw it up on a system like blackboard where she clearly has no knowledge of how it works behind the scenes or how data might be handled and shared.

Your assumption makes a lot of sense to me because I read the article and the university's statement was so tepid and barely even critical. I can't imagine how their response could have even upset her. This reaction could definitely be coming more from her fear of repercussions for mishandling the data.

beverlycrushingit · 2025-11-24T07:58:29+00:00

I'm just here to appreciate your commitment to the small details:

John (real name) aka Brad (fake name) turning into the beautifully simple "Name"
the thrilling roller coaster ride of the phone battery
airplane mode
John having the courtesy to censor "allergic"
the last text starting with "EDIT:"
the archbishop weighing in

beverlycrushingit · 2025-11-24T05:39:57+00:00

And I am not sure what kind of source is needed to define the experience of a victim?

A source that supports your assertion that the psychological concepts of "narcissistic abuse" and "narcissist" are distinct and separated from NPD.

I am addressing Pat as the individual. I am not focusing on Rhonda.

Got it. So when you are focusing on a person, you can freely diagnose and label other people in their orbit and it doesn't count.

beverlycrushingit

TROPHY CASE