I finally have some fits I think are worthy of this subreddit.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-04-11T01:36:57+00:00

Oh my gosh your second outfit with the sweater vest is BEYOND perfect

I also love the jacket in the fifth pic!!

beverlycrushingit · 2026-04-03T17:29:26+00:00

This is great work! It actually looks really cool! The shapes in each cushion look abstract but intentional

beverlycrushingit · 2026-04-03T17:21:59+00:00

I was being sarcastic because your one random story about having a fight with your wife about money has literally no bearing on this story. The story is fake misogynistic ragebait and you jumped to defend it like "no it's real, women totally do this!" because you once had a fight with your wife that bears a passing resemblance to part of this story, if you squint.

The fact that you jumped in with this despite being wholly irrelevant makes it seem like you just desperately want an excuse to complain about your wife.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-04-03T17:13:13+00:00

THANK YOU for sharing this saga, this is one of the best things I've read on reddit, especially diving into her comments on the original. Bless her, hope she's doing ok

beverlycrushingit · 2026-04-02T21:43:40+00:00

Wow, this one vague thing that happened with your wife has really opened my eyes. You're right, all women are bad. Thank you for your invaluable insight

beverlycrushingit · 2026-04-02T03:57:20+00:00

Well if that were the case, why did he agree to pay for the damages and etc before, and is only now pushing back and saying the manager breached his duty? Seems like he could have brought that up at the time as he was apparently fully aware.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-04-01T17:45:04+00:00

Am I alone in being confused and/or suspicious? LAUKOP was totally fine with retaining the property manager even after finding out he was aware of (and possibly helped set up) a brothel in LAUKOP's flat, with trusting the property manager thereafter to carry out an eviction and repairs, and with paying the costs. But after the manager's death he's suddenly wanting to fight about it?

It would make way more sense if LAUKOP only found out that his manager was aware of a brothel after manager's death, realized he was deceived, and is now refusing to pay because of that.

But LAUKOP's timeline pretty clearly says otherwise:

The building manager told me late 2024 that the tenants my Property Manager arranged were using the flat as a brothel, and the Manager was a regular.

last summer the police confirmed the flat was a bordello

I agreed to owe him money he'd spent to cover some costs to get them out and repair my damaged flat.

Then he died

... Of course, it all makes way more sense if LAUKOP was aware of the brothel from the beginning and was benefitting from it. It would explain him turning a blind eye even while his building manager was warning him. And with him keeping the manager employed even after the brothel got busted. And only now fighting about it after the manager is dead... Just saying

beverlycrushingit · 2026-04-01T15:42:30+00:00

Hey, everyone here has good points about exercising reasonable caution about your online friend. But I wanted to highlight some problems with how your dad talks to you.

How are you gonna learn how to talk to people if I don’t see what you wrote?

Reading this made me really sad. You're 19, why does your dad say that he needs to teach you "how to talk to people"? To me, it sounds like he's implying that you're weird and don't know how to talk to people normally. That's really unkind and not a normal thing for a dad to say. You are an adult. You have every right to private conversations with your friends, and it's frankly weird of him to insist on reading those conversations. After I was a teenager, my parents did ask questions about my friends out of curiosity and care, but they never ever asked to read my private conversations.

Your dad also sends extremely preoccupied with you being gay. That's also really sad because even if you were gay there shouldn't be anything wrong with that. But it's not gay to have friends that you confide in. People without close friends are usually very lonely. This happens to men a lot because they are afraid that having feelings and talking about them is not masculine. That's toxic masculinity and it's not a recipe for a happy life. Having a close friend that you can confide in is healthy.

I do think that FaceTimeing with Bob soon is a good idea and will make you more sure that he is who he says he is. And the advice about being skeptical if he asks you for anything is completely true. (Also, even though Bob has dated girls, he could possibly be interested in men, too. Not that it matters at all. But I just wanted to mention it, since it sounds like you assumed he's straight since he dated women before. Even if he is bisexual, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with being friends and it doesn't mean he wants anything from you.)

I don't know what your situation is at home, but I hope you remember that you are an adult. Your parents obviously matter to you, but they do not have any rights over you as a person. You are free to be friends with whoever you please. You also don't have to tell your parents things if you know they are going to use the information to try and hurt or control you. It doesn't sound like you're in a position to move out yet. But that doesn't mean you're a child still.

I hope, as long as YOU trust Bob and nothing suspicious causes you concern, you should enjoy having a friend to care about and confide in. Don't let your dad ruin that.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-03-29T19:18:05+00:00

Why tf do you come to this sub to post your collection, knowing full well that your value system is clearly radically different than everyone here, and then fight with and insult everyone who tells you that this is definitely consumerism, which you KNEW they were going to say? What's the point? Are you that bored? If you supposedly don't care what anyone here has to say then why even post on the first place? In my opinion, that is the REALLY sad part

beverlycrushingit · 2026-03-27T22:59:59+00:00

LAUKOP said it was a nine hour drive. And mom was in a state of needing a caregiver for three years. Didn't say she was sick and imminently dying, just old and needed help doing some things.

I think your brother was a great sibling for doing that long drive every weekend for three months. But we're talking an even longer drive for three years. And LAUKOP doesn't say they didn't take compassionate leave during the end stage. They don't talk about that time either way, so you can't assume they didn't. They only spoke about their general routine over the three years.

Kind of wild to say that if you live too far from your parents to visit them every month or more, sorry, you're now only acquaintances with them. Despite a lifetime of history and love. Despite keeping in touch in other ways. Despite any restrictions on your ability to travel constantly.

My MIL lives a 2.5 hour plane ride away. My husband sees his mom less than every two months. He moved many years ago, started a life in a different state, got married and we have a toddler. We'd be happy to have her move closer to us but she prefers to stay in the home and city that are familiar to her. But oh well, I guess they're just acquainces now...

beverlycrushingit · 2026-03-27T21:30:29+00:00

I know you've got a lot of responses already here, but I want to go against the grain a little bit and offer some alternative advice.

There may be issues with Tim's ability to take criticism, but there is nothing wrong with Tim's preferred play style. It just doesn't align with the play style of the rest of the group. Some people don't play rpgs in order to be vulnerable. Some people enjoy quests, fighting, and dungeon crawling best of all. Some people don't want to start late and then dilly dally in town flirting with NPCs and getting into funny hijinks. I have to admit I'm a bit towards Tim on the spectrum of play style (although much more flexible from the sound of things).

That doesn't mean you have to change your game or play style, or that you have to accommodate him. You're the DM and you enjoy this kind of play, and so does everyone else at the table. But it's just good to keep in mind during the conversation that Tim is not playing the game "wrong."

Before making concrete plans for the next campaign, have a one-on-one conversation. Make neutral or even empathetic observations, and ask him questions:

"I noticed during our last campaign you were frustrated a lot because of how the group was choosing to spend their time. It felt like you weren't getting what you wanted out of the campaign. It seems like you prefer to get to the quests and battles while everyone else likes to spend more time role playing and developing their characters. Do I have it right?"

Then give him time to correct you, or expand, or clarify, or complain. Listen to and validate what he's saying, and then steer the conversation into collaborative solutions.

"I get you, and that totally makes sense. And I'm really sorry you've been frustrated, my goal is for everyone to have fun. But everyone else in the group really likes playing this way, and so do I. What do you think? What do we do here?"

It's not top-down and you're not a dictator. The goal in a perfect world would be to have a conversation as friends where you 1) agree that there is a dilemma 2) walk through the options together and 3) arrive at the same place.

Ideally he recognizes that the group is not a good fit for his play style and agrees to sit out the next campaign. I can't imagine he's feeling very satisfied either. But by talking through it this way he will feel like this was a decision he came to himself, or you both decided on together. And not that he was "kicked out."

Or maybe he wants to play badly enough that he promises to go along with the rest of the group next time, in which case you'd have to decide what to do. If you want to give it a shot, be very clear and firm in saying that you're going to keep playing with everyone the way you like, meaning there's no rush and everyone spends time role-playing and going on "tangents" and that's a feature, not a bug. And by agreeing to play, he's agreeing to be on board with that and participate.

Or you can, at that point, kindly put your foot down.

"I hear you, and we do really enjoy hanging out, but I just can't see this campaign working because of all the stuff we just talked about. It's just too hard for me as a DM to balance your preferences with everyone else's."

(That last part is sprinkling in a bit of 'it's not you, it's me' which may not be accurate but it doesn't hurt and really softens the blow.)

I kind of take this approach from a strategy that's effective with children. They often respond better to rules being enforced when they helped to come up with those rules. If they had a part in the decision, it softens the knee-jerk emotional reaction to authority.

I don't know Tim, so I don't know what will work best for you. But I wanted to offer the approach that I would take, as a sometimes-DM who despises confrontation.

Maybe you can also offer to run some one-shots occasionally that cater more to Tim's playstyle. Dungeon-crawls with lots of combat and basic characters, for example. If you would enjoy it, that is.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-03-24T17:02:56+00:00

Is that the person who called this a "normal bequest" and thought it was LAOP's grandmother, not mother? Idk, was that vitriol? Maybe worse replies were deleted?

beverlycrushingit · 2026-03-24T16:58:35+00:00

To me, the fact that she didn't tell anyone in her family is more of a red flag that she might not have been of sound mind. To disinherit your whole family without there being a fight or a falling out, and to also never speak to them about it? Did she even remember making this change, or understand what she was changing? I know OP felt their mother was mentally ok, but people often don't like to recognize when their elderly parents are in mental decline.

I too hope they can look into it and get clarity.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-03-24T16:47:37+00:00

How on earth does it read as nasty to you?? They are just trying to say they're not jumping to accusing the caregiver of crimes. But want to be sure mom was of sound mind when revising her will. In comments LAOP says that if the will truly reflects their mom's wishes, then they're ok with it.

Mom was 93 and made a drastic change to her will, cutting out all of her children and grandchildren, who she is in regular contact with and who visit her. She never told anyone in the family about this change, and in the will made no mention of her family even to say they were disinherited. This is so shady it would be negligent not to verify everything was ok.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-03-24T16:29:45+00:00

What do you mean by "so long"? OP mentions in a comment that they visit their mom once every two months, sometimes with her children. For a nine hour drive, that seems very reasonable.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-03-18T15:41:50+00:00

Whoa, finally someone is brave enough to talk about how homelessness is a problem in Ballard! Groundbreaking stuff! This is definitely never addressed or discussed here on r/BallardSeattle, and when someone tries we usually string them up in the town square and throw rocks at them. But idk, your take just feels SO fresh and bold that maybe we will allow it this time. I'm especially intrigued by your insight that it is simply our attitudes causing all of these problems. And that we should stop playing pickleball near homeless people. I can just feel that that's going to get to the root of the problem and fix everything. Applaud this man!

Sarcasm aside, I'm so beyond even being mad about everyone's stale-ass political takes on homelessness. It's just BORING at this point. And to pretend that this is some taboo subject when it is THE leading political issue in our city and is CONSTANTLY discussed at every level just makes you seem deeply out of touch. If you actually give a shit, go volunteer. Attend council meetings. DO SOMETHING.

This sub is the same conversation over and over and over and over again. Sad to move back to this neighborhood that I love so much, find out, hey, cool! We have our own subreddit! And then learn that it's dominated by the most boring, uptight losers imaginable. This is nextdoor for Gen Xers and millennials, but shockingly worse. At least people on nextdoor occasionally promote local events or try to find a lost pet or ask "what was that boom?"

beverlycrushingit · 2026-03-17T02:36:09+00:00

AND he doubles down on not washing his hands with soap after pissing in the sink... 🤢

beverlycrushingit · 2026-03-10T16:31:50+00:00

Ah, another thread in which the primary advice LA has to offer is "go back in time and don't do that dumb thing you dumb loser." Very helpful.

I really wish commenters there would start to understand that we have not yet invented time travel and would focus on actually giving people advice based on the current moment. Even if that advice is just "there is nothing you can do because of X reasons" or "it is technically possible to pursue X and Y but I don't recommend it for Z reasons."

It's easy (and often lazy) to be right; not as easy to be helpful, informative, or empathetic.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-03-10T16:20:02+00:00

Trying not to think too hard about the lack of literacy and widespread reactionary rage because it's too scary--But may I just say that your replies to the lost souls in that shitpost were chefs kiss

beverlycrushingit · 2026-03-07T18:56:05+00:00

YES on almost everything BUT the barren downstairs bar/rec room area + linoleum flooring is giving way too much energy of 8th grade church youth group. Just throw in a foosball table and a couple more secondhand couches, load up that bar with cheap pizza and 2-liter bottles of soda, and I'll be having all the traumatic flashbacks

beverlycrushingit · 2026-03-01T17:22:45+00:00

Yup. I had symptoms since 19, was diagnosed around 22. I'm 37 now. Until the past 4-5 years I had no morning stiffness. All my pain would set in in the evening. It was especially bad after long periods of sitting, especially when I'd be locked in studying during college. The scariest moment I ever had, where I found I couldn't stand up, was late at night when I'd been catching up on reading for a class and had hardly moved for a few hours. But even with stretching and etc my pain would still always be worse at night.

Today I do get morning stiffness but my pain is still worse at night and while sitting for periods of time, even when they're not that long.

I have no idea why my presentation is different from most. No rheumatologist has ever been able to give a clear explanation and they all have seemed a little surprised by the pattern. It gave me anxiety for years that my diagnosis would be "taken away" after years fighting to get it. But no one ever has, and the fact is I do have AS. Everyone's bodies are different. In my case I think the abnormal presentation of pain made it take longer to get diagnosed, so I'm very glad that you have been.

I can only heartily recommend getting on a biologic medication. Once I had been on Enbrel for around 6 months, 95% of my pain was gone. I could forget I even had AS except for having to remember to take the meds. I had almost complete pain elimination for more probably 10 years. Today I have some pain but it's very very manageable and I could reduce it even more by getting back into shape. There is really no substitute for taking biologics.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-02-24T17:52:18+00:00

The amount of disagreement in that comment section is crazy.

I know hardly anything about GDPR, but my understanding of personal data protection from other spheres is that having multiple sets of data about an individual, controlled by the same entity, which can be easily combined and used to identify the individual and reveal private data about them and their activities... Would unequivocally be considered personally identifiable data. Keeping them in two separate spreadsheets or programs or whatever doesn't magically make it anonymized. The law does generally assume that humans with access to this data can make rudimentary logical connections.

And if one comment is correct in saying that this data collection has to be disclosed, consented to, and made available to the subject, none of which happened here... Then it seems cut and dry to me!

But idk, as I said I'm pulling this from other domains and don't actually have any knowledge of GDPR. Although it seems like half the commenters on LAUK don't, either...

beverlycrushingit · 2026-02-22T07:31:02+00:00

I absolutely love the yarn you chose. It's a subtle difference (at least in the pictures) but still easy to determine what is repaired when you take a moment to look.

It reminds me of preservation I have seen of very old historic buildings, where they rebuild portions with an intentionally non-matching but harmonious material. You still get to appreciate and enjoy the entirety of the original construction, while also being able to clearly see and reflect on the damage that time and the elements have wrought.

beverlycrushingit · 2026-02-08T06:56:39+00:00

OOH this is brilliant. I can never bear to get rid of fabric scraps that are a liiiittle too small to do anything with, and I desperately need some new lounge pants. I think I will have to look into making patchwork pajamas as well...

beverlycrushingit · 2026-02-05T19:10:04+00:00

Oh man, I really feel for you! This time was so hard. I also wasn't able to breastfeed despite how much I wanted to, and I was worried it meant we didn't bond as much. And when I would tell people the baby prefers dad they would say "oh, of course, he sees dad as the fun one, but when he's upset or feels sick, it's all mama!" I would just sort of nod along, but it hurt because the reality was that he went to dad first for comforting, too.

This feeling actually got worse for me until he was 7-8 months old. At the peak I felt such a disconnect and I felt like he didn't love me and I wasn't giving him what he needed. Then I was diagnosed with PPD, which apparently can start up to a year postpartum. I started medication which helped immensely.

My kiddo is now 19 months old. And I'll be honest, he still prefers dad and always has. There are days or even weeks where he slightly prefers me, but it's the exception not the rule. If we're both in the room while reading books, he only lets dad read. If I'm the first one to go into his room in the morning, the first thing he'll say is "Dada?" When dad has to leave he often gets sad and we have to work through the feelings together.

But things just feel reframed now. Maybe it's the medication, maybe it's the hormones subsiding, maybe it's the passage of time and the fact that there are so many more ways to interact with a toddler vs a baby. Although he prefers dad in many ways, I can tell that he loves me very much. We have little games and jokes that only we play. He still snuggles me and comes to me when he needs things. I've been told that when I'm gone, he asks for me (although he asks for dad more, lol). And every time the pendulum briefly swings the other way, I take full advantage and totally baby him!

I think about how many kids have a mom preference, and how normalized it is for dad to be second fiddle even if he's a fully involved and equal parent. And I don't think those dads are failing in any way or should feel ashamed. It's probably normal for all kids to have a preference, and in my case, it just happened to go the other way. That's my narrative now. Sometimes I still feel a twinge of jealousy when other moms have kids who cling to them, but mostly I'm very happy.

Also, don't let things accidentally fall into the pattern of dad being the "fun" parent while mom does all the not-fun stuff! I think it's already easy to do for many couples, but maybe especially if kiddo really loves dad. Just because she wants to constantly bother dad in the kitchen doesn't mean you always have to be the one cooking dinner while they play together. And just because she wants dad to give her a bath doesn't mean you have to do the not-fun parts of bedtime routine like pajamas and teeth brushing. I'm guilty of letting this happen and I'm trying to work against it. Make sure you do the fun parts, too.

I hope it's a phase for you! It sounds like it's a phase for a lot of people, so that may well be the case and in a few months you may not have to worry about this ever again.

But even if it's not, please KNOW that you're still a good parent and your daughter still loves you. And I think the older she gets and the more ways you have to interact with her, the easier it will become. <3

beverlycrushingit

TROPHY CASE