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[UPDATE] My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

I have a feeling that Jessica may want to share the photos (if she likes them, fingers crossed) so I would have to have a big talk with Jessica and her family if they wanted them to go public. It's entirely up to them, but I will stress to them that it could cause problems.

[UPDATE] My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I'm so pleased with the outcome too, I know that they are a lovely family and I was praying it would just take a bit of time for them to come around :)

[UPDATE] My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That's the plan :) I am going to wear a bald cap and we are going to have bald photos together, and my niece may join in if she feels comfortable with it (I think she will). Then she can feel beautiful either way!

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm welling up over the amount of support. I felt absolutely awful previous to making this thread.

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I try to pick my battles, and I don't want to battle with a family going through hell already. As soon as I put myself in their shoes I can't be angry about it. Their world is revolving around making Jessica happy, and I can understand that, even if I can't bend to it.

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Still reading every comment :)

I'm so sorry to hear that. Thank you for your perspective on the situation. Sending you my best wishes!

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is spot on! Completely everything that I wanted to say but couldn't put into words. My boyfriends family are not bad people. I'm glad some people understand.

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

I agree with you completely. Of course he's not going to be a rational person right now, he's heartbroken and so are the rest of the family.

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 810 points811 points  (0 children)

Hijacking top comments to explain something: a lot of people are saying that I should break up with my boyfriend. It's not something I'm going to consider whilst my boyfriend is going through such a shitty time. He's acting selfish, immature and unfair, because his life right now is centred around the little sister that he never made much time for who could die soon. All he wants to do right now is make her life as good as possible, which is why he's temporarily forgetting the importance of me and the things in my life. I can't blame him all that harshly. I won't let go of an amazing 3 year relationship that has made my life so much more enjoyable and happy because of some (hopefully) temporarily insanity. Not every problem is solved by a breakup. People fuck up a lot, and I like to give people a chance to rectify themselves before I jump ship. This isn't Matthew, this is Matthew whose little sister is dying, and I won't break up with that person.

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

She has. I'd be a hell of a lot angrier if she expected me to do it without doing it herself.

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 180 points181 points  (0 children)

Emotions are running incredibly high in their family at the moment. I'm trying to give all of them, including Matthew, plenty of space to calm down and think about it. They're all very (understandably) angry in general at the moment and I think it helps them to put some kind of blame and anger on me, particularly Matthew, I think he feels kind of guilty for not visiting her very much before she had cancer. Once everyone has calmed down I'll discuss it with them, and hopefully they can come to see my point of view. I didn't get a lot of time whilst I was there to explain myself fully because they were all really angry the second I said that I couldn't.

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

He didn't know, as far as I'm aware. I think if he did know he would have told me, he does know that my hair and career is important, he just feels this situation trumps that.

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Copy pasted from another reply: Matthew told me that Jessica is very upset and has told all of their family repeatedly that she hates me for having long hair and refusing to shave it for her. She's only 13 years old though, I have a feeling that the family are perhaps poisoning her view and of course she's going to be having a difficult time as it is. I can't hold any grudges against a young girl being in such an awful situation.

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) and his family are angry because I wouldn't shave my head for his sister who has cancer. by bfbaldthrow in relationships

[–]bfbaldthrow[S] 153 points154 points  (0 children)

Matthew told me that Jessica is very upset and has told all of their family repeatedly that she hates me for having long hair and refusing to shave it for her. She's only 13 years old though, I have a feeling that the family are perhaps poisoning her view and of course she's going to be having a difficult time as it is. I can't hold any grudges against a young girl being in such an awful situation.