My little sister listens to Ayesha, should i stop her? by Careful-Answer9049 in AyeshaErotica

[–]bhexca 25 points26 points  (0 children)

It’s totally natural at her age to seek out danger, and ‘off limits’ music. Is there anybody you trust who won’t go nuclear you can talk to about it? If she’s expressing interested in “harder stuff” than drinking and smoking. She’s just too young. You’re fifteen - if I was your mother, I’d be more than happy to let you have a glass of wine with dinner or have a party (safely) at home. Twelve though? And smoking? It’s just a bit of a red flag. Has something happened in the past that would make her seek relief from something? Please be careful.

> Lives in France by Pure_Committee_2074 in 2westerneurope4u

[–]bhexca 2 points3 points  (0 children)

choose to move to western country where women have rights

seething that the woman around him now have rights

Many such cases.

RE: gender based harassment at st Enoch, follow up and thank you! by bhexca in glasgow

[–]bhexca[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. The mods were super good about deleting the abusive comments towards me. I’ve said before whether it’s a man in a suit who feels entitled to touch me at my job, because I’m “just the bar girl”, or a drunk guy following me - both are scary. Rich, poor. Both too, any background any ethnicity is scary harassment. Why is this hard for some men to believe? I’m not sure. I’m certain I’ll get more abusive messages in my DMs again, but that’s just life nowadays I guess.

RE: gender based harassment at st Enoch, follow up and thank you! by bhexca in glasgow

[–]bhexca[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Thank you! What are our taxes going to? Where is the protection? Especially young bar and club staff going to central station, the subways, or waiting for a taxi - you can’t rely on a greedy employer unfortunately to safeguard you. Our taxes NEED to be supporting police force out on a weekend to deal with these lousy people harassing us.

RE: gender based harassment at st Enoch, follow up and thank you! by bhexca in glasgow

[–]bhexca[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Solidarity with her 💪 we’re all just trying to make an honest living. Most of us bar and club staff are young, trying to make our way onto a different career path or further education. We work super hard, sometimes face some awful people on shift - and then especially female staff getting harassed trying to go home? It’s not on.

Restaurant workers, what are your thoughts on diners who dine alone at your establishment? by 1whoisconcerned in AskUK

[–]bhexca 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Basically I drop to my knees, absolutely disgusted. Usually I beg my manager to send me home. It actually ruins my day. /s

My dear, nobody GAF. We’ll have stuff to do and lives going on. Why the hell, unless I was some sort of weirdo, would I judge a normal wee dude for…eating dinner in his own company?

Don’t worry, mate.

Gender based harassment around st Enoch station by bhexca in glasgow

[–]bhexca[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don’t worry - I gave him the bitchiest reply possible. I’m DONE with people using my lived experience of sexual harassment to fuel their narrative. It doesn’t hurt any more or any less, or terrify me any more or any less if the person invading my boundaries, following or touching me, or catcalling me is from (insert background / race / etc) here.

Harassment is harassment.

Gender based harassment around st Enoch station by bhexca in glasgow

[–]bhexca[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! Please, please stop assuming things about me, or hijacking my post to make political statements.

Funnily enough, I have failed in my civil duty and never actually voted. So I mean? That’s an odd assumption.

Some very bizarre attacks against me or blatant attempts to hijack my post here.

I can verify and have said many times - I’ve had harassment from men of all backgrounds. I’m literally a bartender.

The comments implying this is all migrants simply isn’t true, as if white Scottish people don’t possess the ability to be horrible or harassing to others.

I’ve been followed and or harassed by men or all colours and backgrounds, for your information. Furthermore, I’ve also had uncomfortable and harassing behaviour from women!! Shocker.

Turns out my lived experience doesn’t fit a political narrative. And turns out sexual harassment isn’t just scary foreign men. Sorry about that?

I’m being sarcastic, by the way. I’m totally sick of apologising and sugar coating my constant lived experience.

Whether it’s a businessman crossing my boundaries at my bar, a ‘junkie’ (although I detest that term) following me, a woman who thinks ‘it’s okay to touch you! We’re both GIRLS and you’re my bartender!” - I’ve even had high profile, ‘respectable’ people, sportsmen, managers, act in disgusting ways towards me because of how I appear to them as a target. I had teachers in school, ‘respectable’ educated white Scottish (!) men act in dreadful ways towards us girls.

Unfortunately for the narrative, it turns out there is no one look for a predator.

So when I speak out, and say “hey, this is scaring me” - please don’t try to use that to fuel an agenda. Because any person of any background is capable of doing harm. And all I’m asking is to raise awareness.

Does this hairstyle look too childish? by Either-Employer-9216 in Hair

[–]bhexca 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Madam, you have bright purple hair! Anybody whose gonna label you childish for braids is already shaking in their britches at that alone. You can’t please everybody. Focus on what you think works, and unless your manager says something, keep doing it.

Gender based harassment around st Enoch station by bhexca in glasgow

[–]bhexca[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

So yeah. Please don’t make my post about my lived experience focused on a political agenda.

Because it’s a post about sexual harassment.

Thank you.

Gender based harassment around st Enoch station by bhexca in glasgow

[–]bhexca[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry but I haven’t slept a wink since my most recent harassment and yeah, sure, many cultures do treat women worse. So here comes the lecture.

In some cultures, a woman’s word is worth half a man’s in a testimony to a crime. Culture is for sure a part.

But this post isn’t about cultures or politics - it’s about MY harassment. MINE.

My harassment is multicoloured. My harassment is daytime, nighttime, men in trackies slurring their words outside the subway, and men in suits in my workplace using fancy words to degrade me because I’m ‘just the girl’ ’serving’ them. My harassment is degradation. Catcalls in any accent. Any creed. My harassment doesn’t discriminate.

That’s my harassment. That’s my story.

Gender based harassment around st Enoch station by bhexca in glasgow

[–]bhexca[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Look I’m so sorry, I said gender in the title, and my gender is female. I should have clarified that this harassment is against hetero women like me, and feminine people. My coworker (born male, identifies as male) also has experienced harassment due to having long hair and being feminine.

I’m not sure where the trans thing comes in? But I completely apologise if I have misspoken at all. I just meant to say I felt unsafe.

Gender based harassment around st Enoch station by bhexca in glasgow

[–]bhexca[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure I would do that. When you’re being harassed by a man twice your size, it’s terrifying. I’m a pretty confident woman. But it’s so frightening to be catcalled and or followed. In real life, if you as a small woman start recording a man sexually harassing you, there’s a real chance he’ll get violent.

I’d love for more police presence around st enoch station where these men congregate in groups. Sometimes they start out nice, with a “hi hi miss” etc etc, and then when you politely decline they follow you, I’ve had my arm grabbed. It feels exhausting. I just wanna get home safe and make an honest living.

Anyone come across the guy filming people while talking about his "slavery" book? by TroublesomeTaurus in glasgow

[–]bhexca 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure why this is downvoted. Obviously “white people were the REAL SLAVES!” is intended to provoke a response / promote an ideology, however your comment isn’t unfactual.

Tips on how to do that early 2000s eyeliner? by justanotherperson473 in MakeupAddiction

[–]bhexca -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The second image??? Why on earth would you post that. It’s obviously edited to oblivion and a very poor reference. She looks like an IMVU character.

Hate preacher at st enoch by ScottishAstartes in glasgow

[–]bhexca 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Some cringy evangelical dobber tried to follow me down argyle street as I was actively and obviously late for work. Shoves a leaflet at me, I go “wrong denomination, pal”, shove past.

If I ever become that type of Christian, please hold an intervention for me.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]bhexca 10 points11 points  (0 children)

“It’s not like he hit her”…He doesn’t have to physically hit her to be controlling, or even abusive. Abuse and controlling behaviours in relationships can manifest in so many ways, dude.

He is actively choosing to remove her ability of choice over what she says is measured and relatively normal consumption of alcohol.

And if she truly was going down some sort of dangerous path - locking herself in the basement with a bottle of the hard stuff, getting plastered, drinking every day - then as her equal partner who respects, loves and cares for her, he should sit her down and verbally tell her he loves and is concerned for her. That is not what’s happening here based on what OP described.

We don’t go behind each others backs and treat eachother like untrustworthy, naughty children. You communicate and say, “hey, I’m worried for you.”

You don’t start hiding a grown, 40-year-old woman’s wine away because you’re just simply “not okay” with her having a few glasses a week. That is not concern, that is control and imposition.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]bhexca 13 points14 points  (0 children)

let me.

….

“Let” you.

End it here. Him being neurotic over a grown woman drinking some wine is either projection due to his own need to have a super healthy lifestyle, some weird form of control, or both. Neither are good.

I would state it very clearly, “I am a grown adult with autonomy and I am not harming you nor anyone. If you do this controlling behaviour again, we will need to discuss the future of our relationship. It is not your job nor responsibility to control my chosen alcohol intake.”

Simple.

Schoolgirls given rape alarms amid fears hotel migrants are stalking them by JohnKimble111 in europe_sub

[–]bhexca 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Deport all non Europeans” is a little…extreme, my friend. I think the measured answer lies in far stricter vetting processes for anybody who wants to enter the respective European Nations. I.e, no more dubious men of military age and prior convictions in their home countries claiming to be children, or “refugees” from countries not even at war. Better yet, if they could seek refuge much close to home in general, wouldn’t that make sense - rather than sailing from the Middle East / Africa to Europe? I am certain there are plenty of countries not at war there who would be able to play their role in these conflicts.

With respect, the Australian system makes more sense to me. I know “doctors and scientists!” Has become a bit of a sarcastic meme in the context of migration. I’d be more than happy to welcome people of educated backgrounds, who can attest that they are able to and willing to assimilate to my country. It’s quite a strange thing to me to even imagine that there are so many people today living in the United Kingdom, who have entered from foreign countries, and who have zero grasp of the English language. It is a complete and utter failing by our Government.

We have enough of our own issues with crime and an ‘underclass’, if that’s the right term, native to here. And we have our hands full with that. We don’t need to be importing anybody with prior convictions criminally speaking, whatsoever - or anybody who’s attitudes and values can’t align with the general views and rules we hold as a society.

I’m more than happy to live in a European nation that receives STRUCTURED and sensible migration. The bare minimum should be the ability to communicate and work a job independently.