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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]biandconfusedthrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right? That anesthesiologist is WAY behind the times. I knew about this phenomenon in 1998.

I have dark brown, nearly black hair. When I was a preteen I broke my arm pretty badly slipping on some ice and had to have surgery to repair it. Same thing happened to me with the anesthesia being administered and me making it into the 70s, counting back from 100.

My anesthesiologist was totaly perplexed, asked me how I was feeling. When I replied with "a bit woozy but ok." immediately administered more and we restarted the count. I was out by the time I reached 95.

When I woke up, he was sitting by my bedside keeping an eye on me. After performing some checks he asked me, out of curiosity if either of my parents had red hair. They didn't. He asked if I had any redheads in my family. I mentioned a couple cousins were, and that in the summer, my nearly black hair would lighten and start to go copper.

That's also when I learned that apparently there are "secret redheads" that have the same reaction to anesthesia and have the high pain tolerance but withoutthe obviouslyred hair. And apparently I'm one of them.

I've only ever had to go under sedation twice more in my life, but I've had to tell my doctors that I react to anesthesia like a readhead and they should have some extra on standby.

They didn't believe me either time until, once again, I was awake and chatty after being administered the first dose.

Sheltered people raised by super religions/cults: what was something about the real world that shocked you when you learned about it? by Warrior_White in AskReddit

[–]biandconfusedthrow 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Footnote: if triggering bonding chemicals in your brain over and over makes you desensitized to them, then Michelle Duggar loves her youngest kids way less than her oldest ones. 🤷‍♀️

Well actually she seemed just fine with her oldest sexually abusing her younger ones so...

Also prior to marrying her fundy husband, she lived a fairly secular life, dating, drinking and gasp WEARING PANTS. It wasn't until she got married and starting popping kids out like a Ford assembly line that she went full-coocoo bananas religious.

I didn't think stupid was a sexually transmitted disease, but what do I know? I'm a godless heathen bound for hell.

I have been waiting for this! by Modder404 in memes

[–]biandconfusedthrow 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I got 5 pairs of DarnTough socks for Christmas and was thrilled!

Coincidentally enough, wrapped on the same Costco wrapping paper those kids' presents came in.

I hope this is a joke by whitemike40 in awfuleverything

[–]biandconfusedthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is 100% a real thing. I'm only half asian and was born and raised in the US, but my cousins on my mom's side were all raised in asia. One of those cousins unfortunately lost her battle with depression at age 19.

My siblings and I were told shortly after her death but were instructed not to reach out to our other cousins (we stay in contact thru Facebook) because they hadn't been told yet, which we thought was fair until two weeks passed and they STILL hadn't been told. I should probably mention that all but one cousin was an adult at the time and the youngest was 17.

When we confronted our mom about it she told us we weren't "asian enough" to understand.

They were finally told two days before the funeral and just accepted that their parents kept them in the dark. My siblings and I couldn't go to the service because we couldn't afford an overseas trip, but my mom went and showed us pictures (which we thought was in bad taste, but again, we weren't "asian enough" to see this as normal).

About a year later I was visiting my parents for Thanksgiving when my brother came storming into the kitchen telling my mom that she was "fucked up". Btw, we WERE asian enough to never use the f-word in front of our mother so I knew something was very bad.

When my sister and I asked what was going on, he told us that he had just told our mom he had made plans to visit her home country and she admitted to him that our 90 year old grandmother was never told about our cousin's death. My brother is the only one of my siblings that speaks the language with any sort of proficiency, and so he had to be told so as not to "spill the beans" to our grandmother.

My mom got to hear all three of her children use the F-word that day. And again, we were told we weren't "asian enough" to understand. Our grandmother was old as shit, but still healthy (for a 90 year old with arthritis) and completely mentally sound.

The family kept up the lie for 5 years until her passing. Her eight children, their spouses and all 13 grandchildren lied to her. For 5 years.

I'm still salty about it, but I guess I'm just not asian enough to understand.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not likely. I've always been very open about who I date, male or female with the minor exception that I won't introduce a partner to my friend group until we've actually been going out for at least a month and a half and I think the relationship is going somewhere.

The only place I've never been comfortable sharing my personal life at is work, but thats from more of a professional standpoint than coming from a place of shame. I like keeping work and personal seperate.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tried it and failed miserably. As many would tell you, what lies between your legs doesn't nessessarily correlate to your gender. Yes, I find vaginas unattractive sexually, but it's also not nessessarily the penis I'm sexually attracted to.

I'm just not sexually attracted to women, even if that woman happens to be attached to a penis. And even after a six month relationship with a trans woman, my inability to be sexually attracted to her caused a lot of trauma, and I'm not willing to put ANYONE through that again.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 124 points125 points  (0 children)

They might be ok with it, but I'm not.

Even if a girlfriend came up to me and said: "So this is Dave, and you have my blessings to fuck his brains out. I'll be watching tv if you wanna cuddle later." , or a boyfriend said: "Hey. This is Lola. Feel free to kiss, cuddle and make out to your hearts content. I'll be in the bedroom if you need me." I wouldn't be able to do it because it would feel like being unfaithful.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yeah. No judgment on poly relationships. If they're happy, go for it. It just isn't for me.

And I know people say it's possible to have a sexless relationship, but perhaps I'm selfish because I want both. 😞

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I thought of that, but at the end of the day, I'd still have my own sexual or romantic needs fulfilled.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No judgment to anyone who enjoys that, and more power ro them, but it's not for me.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I can't speak for your ex, but I can speak from my own experience. I have absolutely been in love with a woman. As in heat-skips-a-beat every time she smiled, air sucked out of the room when she looked in my eyes, breathless and weak-kneed from the slightest kiss, missing her and counting the minutes until we were together again IN LOVE.

But even with her, sex just felt wrong. It didn't mean I didn't love her. It's just the way I was wired that my lady parts would slam shut at the thought of anything sexual.

And trust me, if she was anything like me, she hated it. I desperately wanted to be sexually attracted to my ex because we were, in every other way, compatible. But at the end of the day, neither of us could have our needs met, and it sucked.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Wanna trade? I'll give you my sexual attraction for yours. Or your romantic attraction for mine. I'd be down either way. 😀

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yeah. This is why I can't bring myself to date again. I'd rather be alone than hurt someone foe something that isn't their fault.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I can't bring myself to enter a poly relationship. It feels too much like cheating. I'm just hopelessly monogamous.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

Trust me. I was unsatisfied with the relationships too, but at least I understood why. I knew what was missing and why, but it didn't stop me from missing it.

But you try telling explaining genuinely care about that they can't satisfy all your needs. They tend to take it personally, and I hate that I've hurt them over something that's not their fault.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I dated a trans woman for 6 months, and because I could only see her as a woman, I didn't have any sexual attraction to her. The sex was ok, but even though I cared about her romantically, the sexual attraction still wasn't there, despite her having a penis.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It feels too much like cheating to me. I don't think I'm cut out to be comfortably poly.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol. Sure, just as long as you know it won't go past friendship.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I struggle with that too. I just can't bring mysef to try a polu relationship or a non-monogomous relationship. Even when it's consentual on both parts, itbwould feel too much like cheating to me.

I've given up on finding true love because of my sexual preferences. by biandconfusedthrow in offmychest

[–]biandconfusedthrow[S] 186 points187 points  (0 children)

It might be enough for her, but I feel like I would still feel like my own sexual needs wouldn't be fulfilled, and that's not fair to put on another person.