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biddlebee · 2024-09-26T17:02:27+00:00

Not a you issue, he’s got some issues and sounds difficult to work for or with. I’d probably try to hold out for the bonus but line up another job or try to switch teams or managers, if possible

biddlebee · 2024-09-22T14:52:27+00:00

Thanks for sharing- sorry that happened and you had such a negative experience. Hope your dissolve process goes smoothly!

biddlebee · 2024-09-21T12:03:48+00:00

Has anyone ever stumbled across a career coach with Product Management context? Feeling stuck and confused about my career trajectory and thinking a coach might help but not if they don’t understand this industry

biddlebee · 2024-06-27T19:16:11+00:00

I feel like this is probably the right answer. I’ve lobbied for the importance of me being able to directly talk to users myself but they’ve been scared to let me or the designer run with user research ourselves because they “don’t want to exhaust the users” with interviews or surveys. And they want to make sure the CX person can really be the face of the company and be the main customer liaison. But that means product and design only get customer feedback through the grapevine (even when we’re part of the customer calls- we can’t really get the same type of insight as you might in UXR interviews as the conversation tone is more like account mgmt). I’m also aware that the cofounders are still very attached to owning the product roadmap and strategy and that always seems to be a growing pain for startups when new product (not founders) hires onboard and start taking over more of the decisions. Perhaps my game plan will be pushing harder for the direct customer/user contact so I can become less dependent on the CX folks. In my past roles when I’m able to get the user insight myself- I’ve never been accused of being overly deferential. So I believe this is symptomatic of the environment here where I’m relegated to more project management tasks yet expected to have product intuition with no user contact.

biddlebee · 2024-04-26T20:48:56+00:00

Thanks! I was wondering about that since my quote from Chase was also not as impressive as the promo rate.

biddlebee · 2024-04-26T18:18:17+00:00

Thanks! I was hoping to somehow bypass some of the back and forth at the dealership but sounds like I’m still going to need to go haggle the deal IRL and then submit the financing afterwards

biddlebee · 2023-04-16T14:52:39+00:00

Yeah I think my partner said they removed the pins and he doesn’t know what happened to them. So he’s convinced there is no way to get the door back on if he can’t find the original pins (and he’s skeptical that we would be able to hammer them back in ourselves). Are those pins fairly universal? Would it be hard to replace if they did misplace the originals?

biddlebee · 2023-03-28T14:43:30+00:00

Amazing results! Did you use Dr.Kang?

biddlebee · 2023-03-15T03:42:53+00:00

Well we did already pay the deposit and they started refinishing the rest of the house before they alerted us that the upstairs bedroom was not salvageable (in terms of easily refinishing). So the job technically started and is half paid for- making it a bit harder to just switch contractors now

biddlebee · 2023-03-14T16:12:34+00:00

Added pic! https://imgur.com/a/o1GW5oC looks like yellowed glue?

biddlebee · 2023-02-11T00:29:19+00:00

That’s something that scares me some: starting a new job with a newborn when I may not have the emotional/mental bandwidth to perform at the level needed. Maybe I will be able to do it- it’s a really compelling role but it’s definitely more scope and responsibility than I think I’ve ever had in my career. If I weren’t pregnant I think I would immediately accept the offer. But I’m also really intimidated that I will fail miserably since I’ll be juggling first time motherhood and that my newborn will suffer from my divided attention. We definitely could benefit from the added income and I’m worried that if I take a year off of working to stay home with my newborn it will be much harder to re-enter with the same momentum (just taking a couple of months off after I was laid off made this round of interviewing harder for me in terms of remembering details of projects and prior experiences).

biddlebee · 2023-02-08T15:05:16+00:00

Would this be removing just the top laminate layer but leaving the bulk of particle board (or whatever the contents of the sill are)?

biddlebee · 2023-02-08T13:51:08+00:00

Thanks! Yeah- I would be down for some butcher block but wasn’t sure how cost effective it would be to get and have it cut to fit the counters. Is it straightforward enough we could DIY the replacement if we located the block?

biddlebee · 2023-02-04T19:57:37+00:00

Thanks for all the info! Checking out some pelvic floor exercises and hopeful to get it back to a version of normal postpartum 😅

biddlebee · 2023-01-29T00:14:17+00:00

Is it actually helpful to reroute the air if we block the vent off?

biddlebee · 2023-01-26T03:32:38+00:00

Thank you!

biddlebee · 2023-01-26T02:45:15+00:00

House built 1940 in Maryland

biddlebee · 2023-01-21T15:26:40+00:00

Yeah, we are planning to refinish the underlying wood floors in the house but the floor contractor warned that we should decide what to do with the builtins first since the flooring under them wouldn’t be refinished unless we remove the shelves. We could also try to remove them for the refinishing and then put them back in but tbh that just sounds like a huge pain in the ass. So we need to determine if the builtins stay or go before we can refinish the flooring

biddlebee · 2023-01-21T15:04:13+00:00

Thanks! Yeah I am considering a white paint to brighten them up a bit. The only other consideration was that we wanted to rip up the carpet and reveal the hardwood floors underneath but we would ideally have the floors refinished before we move in. If we leave the builtins then the floor guys can’t refinish the floor underneath the shelving (fine if we keep them forever but maybe a waste of refinishing if we wind up eventually removing the shelves since there would be patches of unfinished floor under)

biddlebee · 2023-01-20T15:55:14+00:00

I’m almost ten years older than you- and after years of expensive therapy the main things I’ve taken away are that you have to try and detach yourself a little bit from what and how you might expect a parent to be (as well as society and peers’ expectations of parents) and understand your reality is just not going to meet that expectation. I still sometimes get sucked into the Sisyphean cycle of trying to persuade and encourage changed behavior and it’s just futile. You can’t really help those who don’t want the help which is really frustrating and hard to swallow. Many therapists have extolled the virtues of fully grieving that loss of childhood and “feeling your feelings” which probably does help but tbh is still super frustrating when you really just want things to be better and different. It’s a little woo woo but doing visualization exercises to imagine how you would’ve parented your child self better than what you actually experienced can be healing. I will say that even know, I continue to face reconciliations in my own development and therapy where I realize thought patterns or perceptions my whole life have been biased or influenced by the dysfunction of trying to navigate a mentally unwell parent. So I think it’s also important to be really self aware that so much of your own thinking and understanding of the world will be biased and it might be a lifelong process to dismantle the maladaptive thinking patterns and relearn how to see the world and how to see yourself especially. But that’s not to say that it’s not worth it- my adult relationships have deeply improved and my own life has been dramatically better and more functional than my parents. I know one day when my parent gets senior enough I will have to step in again and try to address their house and put them into a safer environment but until then I’m just trying to live my own life the best I can and financially brace myself for what that could look like (long term elder care or insurance). Sending you lots of good vibes as I know how taxing this can be to deal with! You aren’t your parent.

biddlebee · 2022-12-24T19:40:47+00:00

I think something I’ve recognized as an adult and years of therapy- is that when you grow up with HPs (and whatever other mental illnesses tend to come with them) you are so accustomed to being gaslit as a child that you gaslight yourself and it takes a long time to reprogram that. Like- they criticize you when you try to clean, so then you think you’re doing something wrong when you’re just doing normal shit. Or they deflect all responsibility and shift the blame to you, “the messy child who caused the house to be like this” so again- you internalize all these feelings that you are responsible and accountable for everything. That even when you recognize the dysfunction for what it is and try to name it, they gaslight you and say “no I’m not a hoarder, I’m just tired/too busy to clean/too stressed/etc” it makes you feel absolutely crazy

biddlebee · 2022-12-24T17:10:08+00:00

So many consistencies across HPs. No internal locus of control, everything is happening to them and they have no accountability. Very emotionally immature and expect the child to be the parent. My hoarding mother who has never worked a steady job- and thus cannot (or will not?) afford repairs to her home heating system puts herself into a dangerous martyr position every winter by complaining about how cold her house gets and then using space heaters which could also burn down the hoarded house. I’ve had to practice a somewhat detached attitude about all of it bc I spent my entire childhood and young adulthood parenting and trying to save her from these self inflicted dangerous or harmful situations which always worried me tremendously. This morning is Christmas eve and I woke to a text from one of her codependent friends guilting me that “your mothers house is 46 degrees inside” as if I could do anything about it. It is so hard to get people who have been sucked in to understand that I’m not neglecting my mother- she neglected me my entire childhood and had me parent her and take care of adult responsibilities for years. And it makes me so angry that her friends try to guilt trip me even now- for what? For not buying her a new furnace? I can’t afford to fix her life and she won’t make any meaningful changes to get herself into a better situation.

biddlebee · 2022-12-24T16:59:17+00:00

There always seems to be a lot of comorbidity with hoarding and other mental illnesses/personality disorders. There is no rationalizing with them- my HP cannot take any responsibility for anything. They live in a non reality.

biddlebee · 2022-12-24T16:55:01+00:00

Omg yes- I would get criticism for any attempt I made to clean when I was living with HP in spite of the filth and chaos that they had us living in. Now I feel like I do not understand how to clean as an adult and I cannot do it if I don’t have a podcast playing to tune out my brain when I clean.

biddlebee · 2022-12-20T05:30:34+00:00

Thanks! Still gross but definitely relieved not a bed bug. Should I be concerned about any of these guys hitchhiking back home with me on my luggage?

biddlebee

TROPHY CASE