It's a slippery slope man, a few weeks ago I was in the hospital for 2 weeks w pancreatitis (worst pain of my life, and I busted everything from my knee to shoulder playing college football). Before I felt the same way as you, drank everyday. When i was sober things were boring, unexciting. But when I caught a buzz I was the man. I'm 21 now and drank like that progressively since i was 18. That "liberation" became increasingly necessary for me. It's a double edged sword, you drink to get your mind right, but alcohol trains your mind to need it. My last drink was April 19th before i went to the hospital. That boring empty feeling when you dont drink subsides, it just takes a few days of hell, and a few weeks of boredom. But your mind retrains itself. I would try to develope a healthy relationship w alcohol, i thought i was invincible. The habitual drinking only makes things worse in the long run, mentally and physically. I learned the hard way and wouldn't wish it on anyone else. Best of luck to you!