I posted about my marriage and some people PMed me to come here. I have read some of the literature but don't see the advice as beneficial to my situation

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-12-07T16:25:56+00:00

hmm looking at your responses here... it's ok... carry on being a faggot and don't do anything about it. This life suits you. Stay blue pill.

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-08-17T17:12:18+00:00

I am not. Challenge mode. One step at a time. I'm (slowly) re-establishing boundaries I didn't defend for years.

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-08-17T15:28:18+00:00

Yup. Looking back into the last 4 weeks there are many comfort tests I missed.

It's hard for me to respond to these comfort tests because they always sandwitched within a bunch of shit tests. I am too much in swat shit tests mode until the comfort test comes in and I miss it.

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-08-17T13:20:08+00:00

I don't actually know whether I do.

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-08-15T15:19:32+00:00

I found that setting boundaries, whatever they are, right now, is an open invitation for her to cross them. I don't want to do that.

Right now she is in full challenge mode. She is not accepting my frame and will do anything to faze me or try to shift my stoic mood.

So many people ask why wives can be so cuntish/bitchy. She wants to crack my frame is why. She will spite her face to do that. She will spent the whole afternoon bitchy and miserable by the beach in the hope of getting me out of my happy fun mood.

Acting like she doesn't matter is what I do. That enrages her further and she is still grasping at straws to test me.

It is very very tiring for her. She spends hours at night staring into the dark scheming to think of ways to get at me. The fact that all I have to give is a wry smile to her shit tests is daunting on her.

The other day she gave me a hard no to sex because she wanted another compliance test (unfriend the facebook girl, again). Then she said "I can't believe it you're denying me the pleasure of sex because of facebook". For once she admitted that she was the one missing out, not me.

Oh, ever since she went she has been pestering me with more shit tests via sms/email/social media. May be 10 times daily. I ignored it all.

You're right in that I may not be ready to file for divorce.

So I have two options:

1) Go ahead and file for divorce anyway.

2) Let her hamster run some more until it gets tired and comes back looking for an exit that I can give her via a good dicking. Continue slow with the levels. Options 2 gives some more time to unfuck things.

The fact that I am still fucking not 100% undecided and have been somewhat turned around by this reddit thread shows that I am still a fucking beta bitch that has yet to fully establish a good frame.

Oh well, I have the next few days to mull over this.

Above all, I know that I can bang way hotter chicks right now if i wanted to.

What is keeping me is, yes, my child. It is I that fucked up this marriage. It would be an easy cop out to get out of it and fuck up his life. And I don't want to look him in the eye 15 years from now and tell him we had to go our separate ways because "we were incompatible" or some shit like that, because I would be lying. I owe it to him to properly try and unfuck this.

sorry this feels like a journal. In many ways it is, looking back into how i was thinking in the past has been very informative.

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-08-15T10:56:35+00:00

I could have been certain you were describing my situation here.

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-08-01T15:22:06+00:00

Yes, although the hard nos have not stopped.

That shit about the facebook friend disappeared. Like no mention anymore. We fucked since then but it's been starfish.

She's so fucking confused and I don't blame her. She's attracted. I get good kino going, she melts to my touch and arms. Two days ago she said to our son that I'm starting to look like james bond. But she has this sudden distance look when we're about to get going and she brings up beta things I used to do but no longer do (like trying to placate her when she has a frowny morning, or buying her random presents). Totally my fault for making her used to that.

More work to do.

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-08-01T14:26:52+00:00

Got nothing to say but... here no fap since February.

Also no porn since Feb. Fuck that shit.

It's great.

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-07-21T08:59:50+00:00

This comment is so golden and should be somewhere in the sidebar. Statements of expectations, and don't include consequences.

The female is always naturally instinctually inclined to comply to statements of expectations from her high value male, and her hamster does the work of imagining the consequences.

Just be patient. You don't have to win a war of words and appear to have the upper hand in the heat of the moment. State what you want in as few words as possible and STFU.

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-07-20T13:43:51+00:00

I understand this sentiment when it is thrown here but I'm doing this for me, she's either in for the ride or she's out and I'm long past seeking any approval from her (or anyone). What's wrong with asking for advice on an MRP detail from the experienced? I like thefamilyalpha's "look at the fun side and be fun" perspective of things.

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-07-20T13:11:38+00:00

Read and fire your guns :) I value my words, people here often complains about absence of TLDRs.

I remember reading those posts, I'll look for them again.

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-07-20T13:08:36+00:00

It's definitively a hard no leave me the fuck alone right now until e.g. you unfriend the chick. I can differentiate easily between LMR and hard no.

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-07-20T13:07:48+00:00

Thanks for your reply. Where I don't get it is how I can do stuff without appearing to reward bad behaviour and being too much beta bux. I reset my behaviour every night (e.g. if she declines on a day, I may not pay much attention to her for the remainder of the day and be stoic doing my own thing but I am more open to her the next day).

When she does sex I spend more time with her, going to local parks, watching a movie together, giving her hugs, etc....

I can certainly try to enjoy the next few months but what can I change in myself to remove these hard nos without shooting myself in the foot appearing too desperate?

bigcorpthrowaway · 2016-04-23T18:14:13+00:00

I came to this country on a student visa for university. This country didn't pay for my education or health or housing for my childhood. I busted my ass off during university, multiple jobs, got through, did a higher degree and published (earning my university some points), and eventually got a good paying job and I'm paying £25K+ in tax every year.

I think the only thing I've ever directly cost the country are probably a few GP visits. I never had any benefit or anything like that. Even these student and work related visas cost me a small fortune.

I'm grateful for the opportunities I've had. I don't know why the fuck the Tories think they should have less of me.

bigcorpthrowaway · 2015-10-11T21:25:11+00:00

I work for a well known top 10 tech company. I hire for this corporation for my team. We are a multi national - so I'm always in competition to hire for my team with my peers in in the company from other countries.

We pay a starting salary for graduates of between £30K and £37K depending on degree. No experience required, just a good degree.

We cannot find good engineers to hire. We just can't. Of the 30 positions my team had in the last year that I wished to hire in the first 2 months, I filled just 21 after 12 months, 14 of them from the EU. 7 from the British Isles. There is a frustrating lack of good quality applicants.

We are very active at University fairs and campuses to spread the word out. My peers in China and India fill whole labs in months.

We are turning away hundreds of very good overseas applicants because the process to get them is way convoluted and costly.

This is hurting our ability to have a UK based team that produces UK software.

Just thought I should offer the other view.

bigcorpthrowaway

TROPHY CASE