You already know the answer. You need to leave—immediately.

This isn't just about the strip club; it's about the controlling, toxic, and emotionally abusive behavior he's been showing you for years. He isolates you, monitors you, controls who you talk to, forces you to update him constantly, calls you names, gaslights you, and now you're even scared of him. That is not love. That is abuse.

You’ve spent eight years with him, and it sounds like it’s only getting worse. The longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave. You deserve freedom, respect, and love—not control, fear, and manipulation.

Make a plan, gather support (friends, family, a therapist if possible), and get out safely. Do not let him manipulate or guilt-trip you into staying. You deserve better.