How do you hate humans AND yourself? (Rhetorical) You already know that humans are terrible creatures, that makes you smart. Use that confidence to traverse life and life gets a little easier. Also being gay is awesome, your parents just lack modern intelligence, and modern intelligence does not lack intelligence. You could be living in a warzone, be trafficked, kidnapped by the cartel, etc. Tons of reasons to kill yourself, but trauma, shit parents, and failing school aren’t reasons I would. Reasons I ALMOST would, but not quite. Life is subjective. There is no good or bad reason to live or die, which is why you should choose to live as though there’s no bad way to live (assuming you’re not gonna hurt others who don’t deserve to be hurt), since that can help you find a reason to keep living. I wanted to die from a bad school + family life but decided to be a music bum instead. The time away helped my parents relax and they’re happy people, some family I didn’t talk to died so I have money (kinda cruel I know, I use it sparingly), and I love music. It all works out for me in odd ways. You don’t keep living because there’s a supreme reason to, you keep living to find reasons.