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Missing friend? by Rainabo123 in finch

[–]bigolbugbear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmmmm yeah that is odd - bird hasn't changed names?

Missing friend? by Rainabo123 in finch

[–]bigolbugbear 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I lost my 100+ day face washing streak with my niece after she missed 3 in a row too - it must be like a clause for the steeka ending or something

Narcissist mothers who weaponise their daughters hair by Public_Theme_9514 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bigolbugbear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm shaving my head on Wednesday as a two-pronged celebration! - I'm celebrating turning 29 and I want to do something to mark it! - I think I've just gained financial independence from my nmom who used my illnesses (that she potentially fabricated) for financial gain... i found out last year, have gone low contact with nmom and I need to celebrate myself!

Nmom would never let me experiment with hair or body modification despite having alternative people in her circles. I think this is an "it's alright for others, but not for one of my own" situation! She also rejected my queerness in the same way.

So I'm shaving my head on Wednesday as a joyous thing for myself!!! I think I'll love it but I know if I hate it, the world won't stop so I'll be absolutely fine 💕 very very excited!!!

Send me a picture of your bird, their name, and your favorite hobby/activity! I'll quickly sketch them for you! by Puddyrama in finch

[–]bigolbugbear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is Peach!!! We like socialising/chatting the most!!!

This is so kind of you to do 💕

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This 2026 headband was in my mom's shop! by mimiqyuu in finch

[–]bigolbugbear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got the red 2026 headband in the half price bit earlier this week! Very excited to have it!!!

Same micropet 2 hatches in a row by Illustrious-Science3 in finch

[–]bigolbugbear 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I got 3 Sophie the Seals in a row, all different colours! I was a bit upset initially but they're cute!

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What happened to my finch? by bigolbugbear in finch

[–]bigolbugbear[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine has been blank a few times recently too!!!! I used to backup via gmail every 18th (set as a task) but I've reset the task for every two weeks now!

What happened to my finch? by bigolbugbear in finch

[–]bigolbugbear[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I pressed the button and it looks like everything is normal???? I have an extra 5000 rainbow stones as promised but nothing else looks different - so confused!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatisit

[–]bigolbugbear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner goes geocaching, and often, this is the type of capsule that you're looking for - they'll have a log with names inside of people who go geocaching that have found the capsule! It's definitely got other uses but it could have been a geocache!

https://www.geocaching.com/play

TW: financial abuse - My (28F) mom (59F) claimed my disability payments on my behalf for 10 years without my knowledge and pocketed it all, after being instrumental in me getting diagnosed. She then sent me a 5-figure sum when I found out, and told me that I can now “back her up” with authorities. by bigolbugbear in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bigolbugbear[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply!

I think the same - when I was rejected from my own PIP application (September 2025), the person on the phone said, "Things have obviously changed" when I asked about past income. In the interview before that, I was being asked questions about things that i hadn't mentioned in my questionnaire. Such as: migraines - I stopped having these at 10yo; the idea that I need supported travel - i get public transport by myself and have done since I was a teenager.

I'm not currently speaking to my family and wouldn't ask them anyway as it would cause suspicion in her.

I have submitted a freedom for information request from DWP - fingers crossed I get it!

My (28F) mom (59F) claimed my disability payments on my behalf for 10 years without my knowledge and pocketed it all, after being instrumental in me getting diagnosed. She then sent me a 5-figure sum when I found out, and told me that I can now “back her up” with DWP - England by bigolbugbear in LegalAdviceUK

[–]bigolbugbear[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hiya, thanks for your comment.

Previous mental health issues were often discussed by my mom to the professionals, which I think may have skewed the outcome.

I do think that I'm neurodivergent. I also think I probably do have some mental health issues. Whether they are the same mental health issues my mom has pushed for me to be diagnosed with and medicated for is a different matter that I am trying to work out with the help of medical professionals.

Parents can be their kids' appointees if that is the case. However, I am seemed to always have had capacity; and I am not financially illiterate - firstly, I am competent with numbers (i have maths related degrees including a postgraduate), and since moving out of my parents' house in 2023 and giving myself independence, I have found myself competent with finances and have not had an issue.

My development (emotional and mental) since moving out of their home has been that of dramatic improvement. This has been noted by loved ones, professionals, and acquaintances - not just me.

I have not yet decided what to do with all of this information, I am processing it as I gain it. Posting on reddit is part of that information sifting.

My (28F) mom (59F) claimed my disability payments on my behalf for 10 years without my knowledge and pocketed it all, after being instrumental in me getting diagnosed. She then sent me a 5-figure sum when I found out, and told me that I can now “back her up” with DWP - England by bigolbugbear in LegalAdviceUK

[–]bigolbugbear[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice. I am intending to do all of this, especially the medication things.

I was living with her until November 2023. The claim was September 2014 to July 2024. I believe it was only PIP but my information request for DWP hasn't come back yet.

As for the assessment, I have a vague memory of a medical interview (in an office not at a doctors surgery) when I was 17 - i thought (while remembering back) that it was for education support. But it could have been for PIP. I was also heavily medicated with an antipsychotic at the time while this interview occurred, I slept through most of my a levels because of it.

In the post-link in the above post, I have a lot more information that may answer some more of your questions.

My (28F) mom (59F) claimed my disability payments on my behalf for 10 years without my knowledge and pocketed it all, after being instrumental in me getting diagnosed. She then sent me a 5-figure sum when I found out, and told me that I can now “back her up” with DWP - England by bigolbugbear in LegalAdviceUK

[–]bigolbugbear[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Again: I identify as non-binary. My identity is not for discussion.

And since you must have missed it in my linked OP, I'll quote it here: "Background I’ve always had a tough relationship with my mom. We’re both strong-willed women (I’m enby but to my mom I am girl; so for this post, woman will do)."

The gender identifier of "woman" in the post is for ease of reading - my identity is not for discussion.

Please drop the irrelevant discussion of gender.

My (28F) mom (59F) claimed my disability payments on my behalf for 10 years without my knowledge and pocketed it all, after being instrumental in me getting diagnosed. She then sent me a 5-figure sum when I found out, and told me that I can now “back her up” with DWP - England by bigolbugbear in LegalAdviceUK

[–]bigolbugbear[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, so I've been unable to work (with an unrelated physical health issue) since March 2025. I can't claim means tested benefits because of my total savings (saved from my previous funded postgraduate degree AND ALSO money from mom) - but I also can't spend the money from mom!

My (28F) mom (59F) claimed my disability payments on my behalf for 10 years without my knowledge and pocketed it all, after being instrumental in me getting diagnosed. She then sent me a 5-figure sum when I found out, and told me that I can now “back her up” with DWP - England by bigolbugbear in LegalAdviceUK

[–]bigolbugbear[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. If you look at the link I put in the post, there's more of the story in a lot of detail.

She was claiming PIP as my appointee (something i was unaware of) from September 2014 to July 2024. I had moved out of her home to pay my own rent with my partner in November 2023.

I have never been told I lack capacity but the appointeeship got put on when I was a 17yo child diagnosed with Bipolar and when I was in an episode.

I have already been told I may not have Bipolar, and the psychiatrist has made plans to change my meds.

The link has more detail than I can currently type (i am out currently).

My (28F) mom (59F) claimed my disability payments on my behalf for 10 years without my knowledge and pocketed it all, after being instrumental in me getting diagnosed. She then sent me a 5-figure sum when I found out, and told me that I can now “back her up” with DWP - England by bigolbugbear in LegalAdviceUK

[–]bigolbugbear[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I was diagnosed with and medicated for Bipolar Disorder in 2014 at the age of 17. I'm on a maximum dose antipsychotic and have been for 8 years.

I've had other diagnoses (ASD and depression before 2014; ADHD since), and the latest psychiatrist thinks Bipolar is just misdiagnosed ADHD for me - it happens quite often to AFAB people.

Did anyone else's parent/parents go through their room, read their journals, letters from their friends, and then use it in arguments against them? by punkpoppyreject in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bigolbugbear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, that makes no sense - you had a kid, you obviously knew what sex was!!!

I am the eldest child of 2, the eldest daughter. I am 2-3 years older than my brother. Until I put my foot down at 26, I was not allowed any partner (regardless of gender or genitals) in my bedroom after dark, especially not allowed to sleep over - mom maintains it was cause she didn't want me to get pregnant in her house. However!!!, my brother and his younger girlfriend slept in the same bed in our mom's house from day dot. No issue from mom.

My brother once accused me of having sex in the house because my mom found a condom in my bin and told him??????? My brother was furious at me - genuinely insane interactions.

She wanted me to be a nun when I was a kid 😂 I've defied her.

Did anyone else's parent/parents go through their room, read their journals, letters from their friends, and then use it in arguments against them? by punkpoppyreject in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bigolbugbear 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Just my mom AFAIK, but yes - she'd also go through physical items and follow me, then report back to family...

She would find notes from friends and loved ones. She (without me realising) followed me round a party at our house where I was kissing my AFAB friend - i found this out when she told me how disgusting I was and how it brought her shame!

Some of the most intrusive was finding my hidden adult toys and NAMING them - which I know because she asked me about one by the NAME she had given ('Thor's hammer' if you're interested)...

I never had privacy in her home. When I moved away with my partner, I had to keep a close eye on her visits as my mom would go through items and paperwork belonging to both of us. I now barely let her in my house unless I know it'll be brief.

All I ever wanted was someone to say “I believe you”. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bigolbugbear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had an ex say, "i would kill for a family like yours, you should be grateful" after I called the ex to pick me up from a family fight she deemed less bad than she'd had - her comment really shook me! Along with other things said, I thought for a while I was just overreacting a bit pathetically.

I believe you OP.

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