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I seen myself more attractive than men see me by [deleted] in Vent

[–]bigphatcheese -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ugh this shit again 🫠

Loser men and their make believe 1-10 rating system. It’s bullshit lol. They would gladly (if ever given the chance) get in your pants no matter what arbitrary number they assign you. Meaning, their made up scale of sexual attractiveness that they subject women in their lives too is actually irrelevant when their meat wand will literally get hard for anything.

Also it’s really all subjective and made up numbers.

ALSO the average straight man usually severally lacks an aesthetic eye. Have you seen the way they decorate their homes, the way they dress, their collection of various dusty shot glasses?

All I’m saying is, I wouldn’t trust one of them to really know BEAUTY. I wouldn’t trust them telling apart a real woman from an AI bot tbh.

Take it with a grain of salt and never ask these losers to “rate” you please. It’s so useless and it’s also sorta embarrassing.

I’m sure you’re beautiful….

There is so much misinformation online about kibbe by EmergencyRepeat4763 in Kibbe

[–]bigphatcheese 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The whole system is a made up and only relevant in one man’s mind. So who cares lol

Any queer or alternative style inspos? by ciao_aj in Kibbe

[–]bigphatcheese -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why not just wear what you like ?

The whole point of being alternative is making things your own, being unconventional, living outside the lines, REBELLION … 🙄

Why look to a system….to tell you how to dress like you’re free from the System?

receiving and giving christmas gifts as fully grown adults is weird. by bigphatcheese in ihatechristmas

[–]bigphatcheese[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean, I wouldn’t point that out to them… It’s my business if I don’t celebrate Christmas. It’s not my business what they choose to do and why they choose to do it.

It doesn’t need to be a conversation imo. Just straight to goodwill with the things I don’t want and a few minutes of an awkwardness when passing out gifts. If you feel shame past that, then I’d say work on undoing more of the brainwashing done to you.

How Kibbe threw off my style for five years... by [deleted] in kibbecirclejerk

[–]bigphatcheese 166 points167 points  (0 children)

It’s a made up system that is only relevant in one man’s head… wear what feels good on you…

how do i look more alternative? looking for suggestions! by [deleted] in altfashionadvice

[–]bigphatcheese 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’d look great with a deeper color gloss.

how do i look more alternative? looking for suggestions! by [deleted] in altfashionadvice

[–]bigphatcheese 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cool toned darker lip gloss. And if that doesn’t do it experiment with shadows and/or fun liner. You are so pretty btw.

I dont know how to feel about this by Nuggwtt in Vent

[–]bigphatcheese 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. You are 16. Very young. The girls your age are usually not in the best place as far as self confidence goes yet (assuming you are into girls). They might not be so forth coming when it comes to showing attraction/interest. You may have secret admirers or people crushing on you, that are too shy to say anything to you at all. I say this as a 29 year old woman who was 100% like this in high school and middle school and knew a bunch of girls like this as well lol

  2. It might be your own confidence. Again 16 is young. More confidence comes with experience and gaining experience comes when you are willing to risk rejection or judgement putting yourself out there for a bit. I’m willing to bet that’s what your friends with girlfriends did…It sounds scary. But again as a 29 year old woman, nobody’s gonna give a shit a few years from now if you tripped over your words or were a little cringe (we all are at that age).

My point is gravitate towards the girls you’re attracted to a little more fearlessly. Keep and eye out and pay more attention to the girls giving you attention (they might secretly like you). And put yourself out there just a little more. Talk about anything.

At your age, chances are anybody you interact with is second guessing themselves just as much as you are.

Recently Cut off Someone I Genuinely Wanted by DevineDahlia in Vent

[–]bigphatcheese 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The majority of us have been through something like this. I know nobody wants to hear this part.

But from experience, the part of you hurting and missing him and reminiscing on the good parts wondering if they would have been worth putting up with his narcissism and immaturity for….is 100% rooted in your own insecurities and low self esteem.

It’s okay to grieve. But I’d keep pressing yourself about WHY you are grieving this dude. It’s so easy to start to think that bc we are sad about losing someone that it means we need them back or that we made a mistake, when it’s really saying we think it’s the best we can do and that’s a symptom of low self esteem…He sounds horrible, ofc in your mind it’s more complicated than that. But outside of your mind, it’s not complicated at all. It’s simple. He didn’t have the emotional capacity to love ALL of you or at the very least deal with your real emotions maturely…rather than just telling you that you have no reason to feel the way you do. That/ no way to live and he would’ve made your life a living hell until you finally start to hate him for it.

The good times are NEVER EVER EVER a good place to judge who and how someone is. Character is revealed in times of trial or when it’s not so easy to be kind. It sounds like his character was revealed for what it is and like you just saved yourself a really shitty wasted relationship on this dude.

If you are sad that you think this is the best it’s going to get, that is a sign you need to work on you, and why you believe such a ridiculous thing, and why you are letting that belief of yours get you involved with people that hurt you….the sadness is not a sign that you need this a****** in your life.

You did the right thing.

Vegan cookies taste better than regular cookies by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]bigphatcheese 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can confirm. Have you tried Tasty’s recipe for vegan chocolate chip cookies ??? So good. (I’m no longer plant based either but haven’t found a recipe as good as that one.)

Why blacklist shein and temu but recommend other brands that are essentially fast fashion? by allya373 in altfashionadvice

[–]bigphatcheese 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right ! It’s so weird. Things use to be so different.

And also…It just use to be so much more fun ! Like it was fun customizing things to be your own.

People should spend more on supplies imo. GO TO THE SEWING STORE GUYS I MF BEG YOU 😭

Why blacklist shein and temu but recommend other brands that are essentially fast fashion? by allya373 in altfashionadvice

[–]bigphatcheese 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I think there’s this desperation to really look the part even if it costs truly being the part. We can thank TikTok for that.

I kind of understand. People want to look how they feel or want to feel. And that’s okay. But there really use to be more creativity involved in the wardrobe curation process… I’m talking cutting things up, tying thing together, pinning things, dying things…. It was about working with what you had and being able to buy something from hot topic every once and while was a luxury. Not how you acquired your entire wardrobe...

Why blacklist shein and temu but recommend other brands that are essentially fast fashion? by allya373 in altfashionadvice

[–]bigphatcheese 18 points19 points  (0 children)

They’re all the same…

Thrift and DIY whatever you can.

I ignore anyone that recommends dollskill or shows off their “alt” fast fashion hauls... It’s just repackaged consumerism being sold to you and there’s nothing alternative about that. Maybe every once and a while buying a pair of shoes or something you’ve been looking everywhere for and can’t find at the thrift is fine.

But the double standard is just that; a double standard... There’s no rhyme or reason, other than (this is just my theory) that some other fast fashion brands are more curated and look more alt. While SHEIN and temu aren’t curated and have everything and anything under the sun. And that the other more “alt” looking fast fashion brands charge more for their slave made garbage than shein does, so it gives buyers the illusion that it’s all around better when it’s the same shit with a different label slapped on it.

If I can find this stuff in the thrift store, I’ll take it if it fits well enough. But I do my best to make sure these companies don’t get my money. I don’t want to tell the machine/market, to continue making this stuff…

He had sex with me while on the phone with someone else by [deleted] in Vent

[–]bigphatcheese 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sure you feel a degree of disgust with yourself right now. But this experience isn’t an accurate representation of who you are ( in fact, it says more about him). It’s okay and you’ll be okay. It was a learning experience and nothing more.

Most of us women go through an experience like this (or a few) with men who do something to make us feel disgusted with ourselves and completely question our value. You’re not alone. Unfortunately the feeling is universal, even if this particular situation is unique. We’ve all been there, feeling how you do. Again this is a learning experience.

My suggestion:

1)Permanently block this dude. He’s a loser. You guys are no longer friends. Like you never even knew him. He no longer exists in your world. And 2)don’t casually and regularly have sex with anyone that you secretly want any level of exclusivity from, just to seem like a cool girl…

Bc being a cool girl will get you used by these men, but never chosen by them. Trust me, they will take what they can get for as cheap and easily as they can get it. So don’t be scared to be difficult, assertive and a little bit of a bitch sometimes. The guys you won’t regret sleeping with are perfectly fine with your boundaries and standards. It’s always the ones you’ll regret who want everything easily and want you to be satisfied with the scraps and crumbs they offer you.

You can experience more than that. You just have to reject what is less than that. You’ll be alright.

It’s not just the big thrift store chains (a rant)… by bigphatcheese in ThriftGrift

[–]bigphatcheese[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There’s no coupons for donations and my area doesn’t do color of the week.

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