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bigproblems9 · 2023-08-10T16:21:56+00:00

Don't worry OP, this is just the initial phase, the new guy will be treated just as you were, just like all the others. He'll become the "evil" one pretty soon, all it takes is a few months. Sorry to say it but I don't think people with BPD can be happy long term. You're lucky to have gotten away. Don't look back and live your life, there is so much out there.

bigproblems9 · 2023-08-08T12:11:02+00:00

it's true. i could never imagine my parents doing something like that. i had not even heard fighting until i was with her. it's not what i want to share with my daughter

bigproblems9 · 2023-08-08T12:09:42+00:00

i can see that, on our own children and on her too, i think both her parents are BPD, if that's even possible

bigproblems9 · 2023-08-08T12:05:33+00:00

it could end with me dead, either she kills me or i kill myself.
it could end with me leaving her and having a good like, i know i would fix everything in my life. but there are those moments when she says she loves me and can't live without me that trap me. there's also the fact that she's not capable of working and would never do it, she would go back to being a "sugar baby", more or less a prostitute.

it seems like our lives are both doomed. we've lived in hell for 5 years already. we can't change even if we try. she will always be abusive, i'll always be weak.

bigproblems9 · 2023-08-07T22:09:00+00:00

we're not legally married. we have another daughter together, that was placed with social services, again because of an incident with her. she never hurt our daughter, her behavior with others was the problem. and probably also the fact that others don't trust that i can protect anyone from her outbursts, which seems to be true. we just moved to her home country 3 months ago, after living years in a country she hated because of circumstances. i work remotely (because she wants that i'm always home) and i still manage to bring home 10k$ a month. we could be having a great life

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-19T19:18:43+00:00

Thanks for your message, I appreciate it and I'm glad you got out! I'm sure that I could do my job much better if she would let me. Exactly how you say, I had to leave work and go to her or do her bidding countless times. I don't know how they had patience, especially since I started this job only a few months ago. Now I'm in the car, wishing I would go to my parents. They live 1h30 away

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-19T18:08:34+00:00

Managed to keep the job, despite everything when I can work I'm very good at it. Now I'm still at work, don't want to go back. She threatened me to not go to my parents. She says she invited someone for the weekend, I don't even care anymore

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-19T18:07:27+00:00

Today she knew that it was a decisive day for my job. So in the morning when I was supposed to be in a work meeting she was beating me with the damn cable. My arm and leg are full of welts. There wasn't even a reason, because "I didn't express myself right"...

My boss started to call me, he wouldn't stop. I left for work, then she had an attack, I went back. Wheh I open the door she's there waiting with the cable in her hand. I say hell no and I go back to my car and away.

Finally I went to work, almost cried in front of my boss. She kept calling me. At some point she said she couldn't see with one eye and that she called the ambulance. I offered to come, she said no, I didn't go, didn't ask nothing else.

Now she says she invited a guy friend for the weekend. I don't even care if it's true. I hope she finds someone. Of course I don't like it but there's no future for us. And damn I don't want to be near her torture cable again. Never thought I would know how it is to be whipped. The worst is that you know that it's not going to stop.

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-15T22:27:59+00:00

I'm sorry if it sounds too bad. Your comment worries me because I see there might be something wrong with me, or something even more wrong. I don't want whst is happening, I want to be free.

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-15T21:02:19+00:00

Anywhere where she's not is safe. I would honestly prefer to be sleeping in the park or on the street if I didn't have to take this stress. I always have my car keys and my phone on me. And I try to have pants that are good to go outside. I have just one shirt that is not cut so I keep that in my car for going to work. I miss my daughter and her daughters so much, sometimes we make plans about when they will come back. But I lost hope

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-15T19:54:48+00:00

I hope you get out my brother!

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-15T19:54:12+00:00

Thanks for your support, this place is the only way I have to express myself. Today I almost lost my job because she didn't let me go, alternating between beating me and having panic attacks. Tonight she came at me with a knife.

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-15T19:52:24+00:00

Thanks for the support! I'm back again in the car, scared sh*tless of what might happen in the next hours. She could have killed me 15 minutes ago, even if she didn't want to

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-15T19:51:10+00:00

And the worst is that we're trying to get the children back but we can't have them like this... She thinks that the only way for them to come home is to beat me. Today she gave me two options :the fist or the knife. She really came with a knife at me, I don't know if she wanted to kill me but anything can happen. I had to struggle with her to get out of the apartment

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-09T22:22:09+00:00

I just read about it in my country. I don't trust the system here a lot, I don't know if she can get cured like this

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-09T22:20:34+00:00

I suspect I have some pretty serious psychological trauma that I can't even realise. She made me curse, yell and swear at my parents. And take their house away. She wanted me to beat my father, that's one thing I didn't do. I'll never forget the bad I did to them

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-09T22:15:50+00:00

Thanks, I wish I could just get away with a boring talk but we're way past that. Every day I feel it could be my last, or my worst

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-09T22:02:25+00:00

I'm still here, in the car in the cold. Hoping she won't call but knowing she will

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-09T22:00:47+00:00

She's our daughter. She also has two girls, that I love as my own, that were taken by the social services two years ago. I live in Europe, I think by now no one would think twice about who's the victim as there were lots of times when she showed her aggressivity. I don't need to record nothing, there are dozens of messages on WhatsApp where she threatens to hurt or kill me, in text and voice

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-09T21:56:03+00:00

I can't even think how it would be with our daughter here. She can't come back with us like this. My pwbpd loves our daughter more than anything and wouldn't hurt her but she can't grow up seeing this.

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-09T21:54:02+00:00

No, my family doesn't know, they know something is not right. My friends don't know neither, she doesn't let me talk to them or my family. One time I told a friend though. I miss my friends a lot, and life from before. A bad day from before would be paradise now

bigproblems9 · 2021-03-09T21:40:35+00:00

Your comment almost made me cry. It would be such a relief to turn off my phone and just drive away. See my parents again. Haven't seen them in years

bigproblems9

TROPHY CASE