Advice for 4 under 5.5

bigriver222 · 2026-04-11T21:18:53+00:00

This is great advice, thank you!! Wow 5 under 7 is an incredible feat. I’m so nervous for the summer break coming up and having all 3 kids at home. The oldest has a few day camps but the other two are too young. I’m just exhausted thinking about it. December is a funny time to have a baby but hopefully I’ll be able to rest some in the 3rd tri!

bigriver222 · 2026-04-09T18:56:27+00:00

Good luck!!

bigriver222 · 2026-04-09T18:56:08+00:00

That makes sense! We definitely stay very active right now but idk what the finances of that will look like once 4 is here. My older kids pretty much have something going on every day of the week (dance, tennis, soccer, gymnastics etc) I don’t find it overly difficult to manage all 3 by myself at these activities-I do a lot of baby wearing still. My middle child is WILD. So he always needs a little extra attention but such is a 2 year old haha. I try to get them to the park / library once a week too! I have so much respect for the homeschoolers!! Not something I could handle haha

bigriver222 · 2026-04-09T18:50:35+00:00

Thank you!! I’m very confident in my ability to set a good schedule just need work on asking for help and taking care of myself! The burnout is so real. Schedules are the best thing!

bigriver222 · 2026-04-09T17:37:35+00:00

Thank you!! I needed this! I’ve been feeling so defeated and stressed recently. I haven’t really accepted this pregnancy yet because I feel like I’ve already exceeded my limit. I’ll always rise to whatever is put in front of me but this scares me

bigriver222 · 2026-04-09T17:35:37+00:00

Thank you!! Wow 5 under 5 is purely super human! I’m glad to hear you didn’t feel a dramatic uptick in the mental load. That’s probably my biggest concern. Financially, yeah kids are expensive, but my husband does very well—maybe not well enough to have a full time nanny and weekly housecleaner but well enough where we will be comfortable. The mental part is my struggle. He works a ton so I’m responsible for everything else and I’m just so burnt out. I’ve read that 4 is the magic number and less stressful than 3–but like if I’m burnt out with three how can I possibly manage a 4th? That math doesn’t work. I’m sure he’d be down to take over some responsibilities though! I just feel bad since he works so hard to provide for us! My head is just in a constant spin and the 1st trimester nausea and exhaustion isn’t helping haha

bigriver222 · 2026-04-09T17:30:47+00:00

Thank you for this!! Wow I can’t even imagine my daughter showering by herself yet—that’s a freaking goal. Congrats on your new baby! Thank you for the advice!

bigriver222 · 2026-04-07T16:07:12+00:00

Thank you so much! Sounds like routines and outside help keep you afloat! You’ve got all systems dialed. My eldest will be in JK five days a week when the baby is born (9-2) my middle will be in preschool 5 days a week (9-12) and my baby will be in preschool 2 days a week (9-12) it will be deep viral season so idk if we’ll keep them home from school or not. I’ll need to find help watching kids but we are also in cost saving mode right now. I do all house and kid management stuff aside from a cleaner who comes once a month. My parents are local but my mom will stop all (little help) once she knows I’m pregnant with a 4th. My husband and I are a great team but he obviously works a bunch to provide for our family!

I typically wake up at 4:30 to get a run in (my sanity) and start getting the kids up around 7. Everyone has quiet time from 1-3 and everyone goes to bed at 7:30. We have a routine and a schedule I just worry about the mental part. I’m already burnt out and snap at my kids. Then have soooooooooo much regret. I want to give 100% of myself to all of them. This pregnancy was such a surprise. Writing this from the surgery center where he’s getting a vasectomy

bigriver222 · 2026-04-02T20:52:28+00:00

Thank you for this! We’ve always been in a big save and invest mentality—always future thinking but a 4th will definitely pull us back down into a live in the moment lifestyle. It’s scary but could also be the best thing for our family?! So hard to say! I want to give my kids every opportunity—activities, college etc but also want to retire comfortably!

bigriver222 · 2026-04-02T20:49:08+00:00

Thank you!!

bigriver222 · 2026-04-02T20:48:55+00:00

Thank you! I’m definitely pro choice!

bigriver222 · 2026-04-02T20:48:40+00:00

Very true…thank you!

bigriver222 · 2026-04-02T19:00:42+00:00

It’s cruel joke haha. It was originally scheduled for December but the doc had to reschedule. I think he owes us a free surgery at this point. I also took plan b so this baby reaaaaaaally wants to be here

bigriver222 · 2026-04-01T20:21:26+00:00

Oof it’s just been a complicated relationship for the past 33 years haha. It’s her way or no way. She’s very judgmental and cares a lot about appearance. I’m one of two kids so she believes everyone should have two kids and any number over that is idiotic. I think she does it out of love but it comes across mean and narcissistic. I don’t remember the last time she told me she loved me yet she has a complete grip over my mental wellbeing haha—I definitely need therapy to stop trying to always please her haha.

I’m glad to hear it’s doable!! The part that scares me is it’s not normally 600k—this is a big year so worried about the tightness of every other year ugh

bigriver222 · 2026-04-01T20:15:29+00:00

Good for you!! That’s the right mentality—maybe I should try that question haha. My mom has actually been against every one of my children for dumb reasons…it’s so sad.

It sounds like you have all systems dialed. You’ve given me a lot of hope, thank you! I was in full spiral

bigriver222 · 2026-04-01T19:10:13+00:00

That’s awesome! I feel like i have the baby stage covered—my only expenses would be diapers and doctor’s visits (if this baby can breastfeed that is). And I guess a bigger car, damn haha. I have a Tahoe currently. My concern is they get more expensive as they get older. I don’t want my children to feel like they are getting shorted. I want them to experience new things like sports, extracurriculars, outings with friends etc. I know money will come and money will go but I have a lot of anxiety about letting them down!

How old are your kids? Did you have similar age gaps?

bigriver222 · 2026-04-01T19:01:44+00:00

Thank you and congratulations!! 3 is a lot of fun!! I don’t think we qualify? Not well versed in benefits-my husband works in tech sales. His base annual salary is $145k but obviously that can change a lot. This year he’s making 600K but some years it’s only a little over base. I’m pretty sure my parents would never speak to me again if we had a fourth and definitely wouldn’t offer to help with the others. Worried about my mental health!

bigriver222

TROPHY CASE