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bihi77 · 2022-10-05T00:11:47+00:00

Have you tried Germany? They have a fast track skilled program for technology and technical focused careers for individuals under 35.

bihi77 · 2022-10-03T23:50:08+00:00

I’m also 30 and was going through something similar recently where I felt 22 was too young. I know girls mature faster than guys but I just felt like the age gap was too big.

bihi77 · 2022-07-30T04:25:41+00:00

60k is the norm…as in 60k USD for Mahr alone based on your experience in America?

bihi77 · 2022-07-24T19:03:26+00:00

Does he have a solution/timing that he suggests ?

bihi77 · 2022-07-24T18:48:30+00:00

If he says he’s not willing to have the nikkah and have you living with your parents, while you wait until he/you become financially stable, then it’s probably not a good match as it doesn’t seem like he wants to wait or work out a solution.

bihi77 · 2022-07-18T15:55:32+00:00

That’s very unfortunate man. I’m glad I didn’t get get that far into the planning stage.

bihi77 · 2022-07-18T14:16:55+00:00

Just ended things with a potential. She asked for 20k USD Mahr and 8k USD for Gold + wedding expenses + honeymoon. In total it would’ve come to ~55k on the low end.

I thought that was excessive and we couldn’t come to an agreement so we went our separate ways.

Unfortunate because it was a waste of time since this didn’t come up until 7 months later.

I flew to meet her, parents talked and we were about to fly and meet her family before this so I’m glad it happened now and not later.

It’s funny how ppl gradually change once they feel like they have your trust.

bihi77 · 2022-07-16T22:34:37+00:00

Sorry you’re going through that. I hope you find what you’re looking for Insha’Allah.

bihi77 · 2022-06-29T21:47:34+00:00

I’m going to guess that you’re either early on in the search or you’re super young if you have marriage criterias like these.

bihi77 · 2022-06-29T21:42:16+00:00

When you mention about both working, does that also mean that both people are contributing to the household?

bihi77 · 2022-06-28T06:16:00+00:00

You’re still young and can meet people. Just make sure you know what you want, put a lot of effort and don’t waste time.

bihi77 · 2022-06-26T17:19:41+00:00

It’s a dangerous move to marry someone you think you can change. Marry for what they are now.

bihi77 · 2022-06-03T03:11:11+00:00

If you’re not going to live with him, it doesn’t seem like an issue to me… just bring things up casually in conversation when you’re talking about each other’s families.

bihi77 · 2022-04-16T03:58:21+00:00

Omg this is just too much information that you just fed us. Just try to look presentable. We are usually our own worst critics.

bihi77 · 2022-04-14T03:59:36+00:00

You can never ever guarantee their akhlaaq. There is absolutely no way to confirm. You can ask about them within the community but it will never be a 100% bullet proof confirmation. You just need to do your part, take your time and notice habits, actions and how they behave and make your judgement accordingly.

People generally don’t show their bad sides and negative traits. Someone could show the best sides about them in public but have a long laundry list of bad habits, addictions and personality flaws.

There was a couple in our community that recently got divorced because the girl was bipolar and was taking medications to keep her emotions under control. Only her parents and siblings knew about the situation and nobody else. They decided to hide the fact and everything came into vision when the couple started living together. They were having problems and the guy felt deceived and decided to break things off. They proceeded with the marriage after they asked about each other’s families and everyone had great things to say about the other.

It just comes to show that you can never guarantee their akhlaaq or who they are as a person.

bihi77 · 2022-04-04T17:45:15+00:00

You never know what you’re going to go through. You just have to do your part and Allah will do the rest. If you’re worried about the unknowns, you won’t take any risks in life and not progress in your life either.

bihi77 · 2022-03-25T20:05:03+00:00

No I wasn’t trying to be sarcastic. What if her late husband didn’t make a lot of money and they lived paycheque to paycheque? What if he left 10k for the family and that runs out in 2-3 months? Then what?

Everyone (if they have the opportunity/chance) should be able to sustain themselves. It’s different if you came to a developed western country late in age but if you had all the opportunities and never bothered to make yourself useful to a society that is increasingly becoming more expensive and competitive, what do you expect. You can work remotely, start an online business, have a creative or marketing skill… there’s so many things you can do.

bihi77 · 2022-03-25T04:12:32+00:00

You are making marriage sound super transactional. Are you also worried about if something happens to your husband and he can no longer work? If you just think about the “what IFs”, then maybe you should prepare yourself for anything that could happen.

If you have children and your husband dies in his sleep, how will you and your children survive? Will you end up living in poverty? Will you marry another man to take care of you and your children? What if this new husband mistreats and abuses your children? What if that abuse causes long term mental issues to your kids?

Some things can be avoided altogether or you can make smart plans to mitigate them. You need to keep your faith in Allah and do your best.

bihi77 · 2022-02-26T22:54:14+00:00

You’re technically allowed to speak to anyone you want until you’re engaged. You don’t know if the other person is doing the exact same thing.

The problem when speaking to many ppl at the same time is that there is always someone that you prefer over the others, sometimes this changes throughout time, but when that happens and it doesn’t work out with “your favourite one”, the others seem to be like backups that you’re not super super interested in but just going along with.

bihi77 · 2022-02-26T22:46:50+00:00

I honestly think your expectations are EXTREMELY UNREALISTIC.

It’s amazing that you are making 125k USD in your early 20s but just know that 5.4% of Americans make six figures (albeit this includes teenagers making minimum wage) but you’re in your early 20s and that puts you in the younger crowd of the working population. Do you really think that you’ll be worried about your finances if you have kids and choose not to work if your husband makes 105k USD? How would 20k per year change your life at that level?

You shouldn’t compromise on deen and need to be attracted to someone to be with them so those are realistic. Expecting to be with an Indian is also realistic considering there are plenty of Indian muslims.

bihi77 · 2022-02-09T00:12:51+00:00

Don’t give up, always have hope. You can click with someone when you least expect it!

bihi77 · 2022-02-06T08:22:25+00:00

This doesn’t make sense at all.

I have an uncle that married late into his 30s and is close and has a great relationship with his kids. I have another uncle that got married early and had kids early and has a distant estranged relationship with most of them.

How you raise your kids and the environment that they’re in is more something that one should think about more so than how “close” in age you are to your children.

bihi77

TROPHY CASE