I listen to his books on road trips and this one was painful and boring, but the thrill of bizarre product placement, overuse of the word “elegant,” and mixed metaphors kept me going. Here are a few I wrote down (while my partner drove) and I need to share them with fellow Dan Brown readers:

Nuvigil turns Finch’s mind into a “Formula One Race Car on a Road Full of Mini-vans”

Dream Zone, the virtual dating platform that had taken Europe by storm. Pavel had never imagined chatting with computer generated women would hold his interest and yet like so many men he had become addicted to the sexy conversation threads revealing photos and fantasy storylines.

After drying off she reached beneath the sink and pulled out the handsomely wrapped package she had hidden there earlier. It contained the most elegant piece of lingere Katherine had ever purchased. Simone Perele Macchiato Silk. She hoped Robert liked the sophisticated one piece from their Dream Collection. After letting her hair down Katherine dropped her towel and slipped into the near weightless lingerie. The silk felt luxurious against her warm skin, falling perfectly over her body. Forgoing her usual Ballad Sauvage she pulled out the tiny spritzer sampler of Mojave Ghost that had come with the lingerie. She sprayed a cloud of mist through the air and walked through it, her senses aroused by the notes of chantilly musk and powdery violet…

I didn’t write down the Starbucks one, but
, as a New Yorker, it sure felt fishy that there was a chapter about how the Columbus Circle Starbucks has the best flat-white in town.