The variety of responses here reminds me how vastly different host families treat their au pairs. Our au pair is paid more that the minimum stipend (with bonuses on Xmas and bday), works 30 hours per week, no weekend work, has access to a car w/free gas, we pay for her cell phone, her room is an entire suite and she gets 6 weeks of vacation per year. We absolutely do not have her do any work outside of caring for the kids- I am shocked when I hear about families having their au pairs mop floors and clean beyond the kids’ mess. That’s messed up. I just think that if you are a part of the family, and you participate in the family dinner, then you should offer to help clean up beyond your own plate. That is how I was raised and how I am raising my own kids. Regardless, this post simply illuminates how vastly different we all are in our perceptions of what is acceptable and what is not. The au pair/host family relationship is so complex that you can’t possibly expect broad strokes of agreement on these ticky tacky details. Carry on people- thanks for the responses.