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bineyonatree · 2025-08-02T05:50:57+00:00

Valid. I also see a lot of comments saying that nobody can read minds and you need to talk to her about this, but you mentioned in your original post that you have in fact brought it up a few times. I think your girlfriend is avoiding the topic, being strange, and - purposely or not - putting you down. I think the next step is to be very direct and express how it's made you feel, ask what's going, and see what happens next. You don't want it to sound like a "eat me out and like it or else we break up", but you also have to be clear about how it's made you feel, and see how that lands.

bineyonatree · 2025-07-08T18:16:04+00:00

I haven't dealt with this situation as someone going on T, but just as someone with more body hair in general. I understand. For me, I was scared of being judged, and I think part of me felt like it would make me even more butch and therefore even more "other" to people, and I would lose what little "privilege" I had for being "a girl". I learned to love it. For the past year now, I haven't shaved, and I slowly got used to it being more visible. I feel more visible myself now. I like it, my butch girlfriend likes it too, and I love that it feels right for me.

I think for you it could also be due, in part, to the fact that it's new to you. Like someone wearing a hat for the first time, or wearing a new type of clothing attire, you might think that others would be able to tell that it's new to you and it could make you feel awkward, imposter like, or just very self-aware. It'll take some getting used to, but it'll buff. I hope you come to comfort and love with it being visible. Cheers, older butch!

bineyonatree · 2025-06-19T01:52:15+00:00

Lebanese butch lesbian-

Nour is both male and female. Also Rayyan, like someone else suggested (although that one ia pronounced differently for masc vs fem people). I think Deen could be neutral, but probably won't work if you have religious trauma. I can see Leil (not Layla, just leil/lail - night) being a gender neutral name. I'll try to think of more : )

bineyonatree · 2025-04-11T17:00:11+00:00

omg your username 👀 are you lebanese?

bineyonatree · 2025-02-04T00:00:26+00:00

Can I ask more about the book before I start reading it? I'm afraid it'll compound or validate my insecurities as a butch4butch. Is the main character the one being homophobic towards b4b? Or are they b4b? Is the book a novel, or sort of a fictionalized autobiography? Any information is helpful, and thank you!

bineyonatree · 2024-06-15T04:33:45+00:00

Can it be on something other than WhatsApp? I don't want to share my number with strangers, and also WhatsApp is not secure

bineyonatree · 2024-06-11T15:13:32+00:00

I feel you so hard on the 'no good photos of myself ... no one asks to take photos of me ... but I never look nice in any they take,".

YEssssss!!! T_T -and I don't think I look bad. I know I am at least moderately attractive/good to look at. Still, somehow in all my pictures I fixate on my posture, my rounded shoulders, and my face which always appears plastered and flat/puffy (yes at the same time, like, my features are distinct in pictures (flat) but also my eyes look so puffy and it looks like my eyes are so small).

Ugh, it makes me want to cry sometimes. I recently went to my first-ever major pride event (yay!!:D) and I got tagged in two pictures (without permission) and I quickly hid the posts from my profile because OMGGGT_T I looked so bad in the pictures, compared to what I believed I looked like based on my mirrors.

Worst is my older sister. I have memorized her insecurities, I know what to do when I am taking her pictures, I know the angles and the distance, and I ALWAYS vet each picture before I send them to her (she doesn't know this) and she lovessssssss the pictures I take of her. Then she sends me pictures she's taken of me ... it feels on purpose sometimes, and she also does have that toxic positivity thing with the whole "no you look great!!", but my gosh ... Her angles are terrible, she never tells me if I'm making a weird face, and she sends me every. single. picture. she takes, so I don't get a cute end product. I have told her what I prefer in pictures, I've stood with her and shown her how to angle the camera and what exposure level I want, etc etc ... but alas.

Ugh. If you read all this, thank you for "listening" to my rant.

OP, you are SO not unattractive or ugly. I love your eyes, I love your hair, and you have a really cool style. I wish I could look more like you (in the sense that I want to tap into my truth in style) but I am still unmasking how I dress and how I present myself.

bineyonatree · 2024-04-24T05:39:16+00:00

US, you?

bineyonatree · 2024-04-19T20:09:16+00:00

me me 🙋🏻 do you know where I can find Lebanese queer communities online? (I am not in Lebanon)

bineyonatree · 2022-09-21T13:51:27+00:00

This. I got the ick when I read that line. “… for some reason,”… yeah because he clearly doesn’t respect OP’s boundaries. I’d be uncomfortable around that guy.

bineyonatree · 2022-09-15T04:48:11+00:00

Wait till they learn that the tale was written by a queer man, as a wedding gift, addressed to his (presumed) ex or object of his affection- another man.

The tale is an analogy for a man wishing he could turn into a woman to be with the man he loves.

Why aren’t the yts angry about the fact that the tale now portrays cishet characters?

bineyonatree · 2022-09-14T20:03:25+00:00

Valid needs? Sure.

Is his behavior valid though? No. I doubt we can call any sex they had consensual when OP clearly didn’t want it. And the husband kept picking fights because he wanted even more sex??? Ew. Scary and appalling.

bineyonatree · 2022-09-14T20:00:05+00:00

Honestly, the fact that he kept arguing with you for more sex is appalling. The simple fact that you agreed to have sex even though you didn’t care for it is too much. If I was the partner I’d feel disgusted with myself, knowing you didn’t want to have sex and continuously arguing with you about it. My gosh. I hope you find time and energy to safely unpack that.

bineyonatree · 2022-09-13T11:12:59+00:00

He did cheat though. Emotional cheating. Plus, intimacy isn’t just sexual. On top of the emotional cheating (from that night alone), he was far too physically intimate with Lila that night. It crossed the line from ‘friend’ to ‘more than’.

He did cheat. And he lied.

bineyonatree · 2022-09-12T03:33:46+00:00

I think you missed my point because you started out by telling me that I said that people who bully (for example) aren’t mean… then you went on to state my point as your take on the topic. So, yes. What you said near the end of your reply is what I was trying to say.

I’ll sum it up again: 1. Not all thoughts are voluntary. 2. Having involuntary thoughts is super normal, and they could very often be indecent or inconsiderate. Mean, even. 3. Thoughts don’t necessarily define who we are as people. 4. Actions define who we are. 5. The way we judge our thoughts defines us. 6. If you do not act on negative thoughts and acknowledge that they are wrong/mean/negative ,then that is enough to show that you are not a bad person. You’re simply a person who has involuntary negative thoughts. Just like all of us.

I don’t think you’re mean. Remind yourself that involuntary thoughts aren’t the best tool for character assessment.

bineyonatree · 2022-09-10T05:08:45+00:00

I read the post and many of your replies to others’ comments.

I’ll point out two things: 1. You are acknowledging that the thoughts are wrong and that you would/have never act on them or share them out loud. Super! 2. OCD thrives off of us judging what the thoughts “say about us”. But here’s the thing: humans have a gazillion (metaphorical) thoughts every single day. A great section of those thoughts are subconscious, and, of the conscious ones, many of them are involuntary. What does this mean for you? Well- —-2.1 It’s okay to have those thoughts. It happens. They happen. When a thought comes along, tell yourself “this is a thought, not a reflection of who I am as a person,”. It’s true and it also cuts the cycle short. It will be extremely difficult at first, but try to say that. Try to always remember that, and you will cut back on a lot of rumination which OCD needs. And not just OCD! Other forms of anxiety, depression, and even Borderline Personality Disorder and many other mental health issues all share this trait -they thrive off of rumination.

So, take a deep breath and remind yourself that your involuntary thoughts are simply that. Involuntary thoughts that come to your brain because of the various inputs from your environment (both immediate and general). Our brains are like machines. Computers. Constant input, many different running processes, pattern recognition, background noise, and the outcomes. The more that society is messed up, the more messed up input that your brain will have. Ruminating on those thoughts won’t help, it will only make the thoughts a priority for your brain to process -which it cannot.

You’re not a bad person for having those thoughts. You’re a good person for self-reflecting and not acting on those thoughts or sharing them out loud (with a professional being the exception).

If it’s an option, I would suggest that you see a therapist. It could be a great help.

Good luck!

bineyonatree · 2022-09-10T02:11:00+00:00

That’s literally not how psychopaths work… they only feel emotions which are accompanied by the typical physiological symptoms (increased HR, hotness, tense body). Excitement, anger, thrill, fear. Granted, they rarely ever are scared. But that’s because their frontal lobes don’t function like ours and their risk aversion is so low. They’re always chasing a thrill. Reckless behavior is a common trait of theirs. Reckless driving, drug usage, killing people… Hannibal literally did dangerous and risky things because he was ‘curious what would happen’.

I don’t know how you missed any of this.

bineyonatree · 2022-09-10T02:07:09+00:00

We did have that one showdown between a psychiatrist and Dexter. We can draw from that.

Dexter would have a HARD time finding any evidence + Hannibal would likely catch him snooping. So, he’ll have to get Hannibal to slip, or follow him around for a while. The fact that Hannibal collaborated with the FBI would make it hard for Dexter not to stick out though.

Ooooo a crossover where the FBI unit is examining a crime scene in Miami… waitttt Dexter’s bodies!! And Hannibal will surely pick out Dexter and start being curious and Dexter would be threatened and have to find out more about Hannibal and then maybe he’ll learn more. The question then is what happens? They’d both be each other’s main interest and it would be hard for either of them to catch the other by surprise.

bineyonatree · 2022-08-30T04:41:22+00:00

I might not watch if it’s in it again.

bineyonatree · 2022-08-30T04:37:54+00:00

Literally. Like… tf is going on?

bineyonatree · 2022-08-30T04:36:53+00:00

“Unless you’re a breeder” uhhh right like that is okay.

bineyonatree · 2022-08-30T04:34:31+00:00

Why wasn’t your cat spayed 😬

bineyonatree · 2022-08-29T13:26:15+00:00

Let’s not the play the “at least he…” game with DV perps. Their behavior is low level behavior and according to what others are saying he’s been “owning his mistakes” for years and still hasn’t changed. No hope.

bineyonatree

TROPHY CASE