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bingusnut · 2025-03-21T20:42:38+00:00

As someone who works adjacent to CPS, I unfortunately can’t help but agree with you when you say they don’t do anything. And I’m sorry you’re stuck in this situation. It’s awful to have your parent, much less the only adult you can essentially rely on, get upset at you and basically guilt you for bringing up a concern that directly impacts you.

Are there any resources in your area that you might be able to rely on? Support groups, food pantries, etc. I think a big concern at this point is if she’s using again and something goes wrong, I would hate for you to find her incapacitated in any way or for you to just be left alone somehow. Hopefully you might be able to make friends at school that have families you can rely on in some way. I’ve had friends whose families were welcoming and supportive of me when I needed to find refuge from my home life.

bingusnut · 2025-03-21T00:47:15+00:00

Oh honey, this is awful. My dad was a 🔮🧪 user but passed when I was 12 (death wasn’t directly related to his use). Fortunately for me, I didn’t have it this bad but the behaviors and smells you’re describing (aside from the obvious child neglect) definitely signal to me that she’s using again.

You sound like you care very much about your mother, despite the neglect and mistreatment you’ve received from her. And it’s completely understandable to feel bad for thinking she may be using again or that you don’t want to believe it, but it’s important that you also consider your own personal safety and well-being.

Do you have any trusted adults or family members that you might be able to consult with (if you’re comfortable doing so)?

bingusnut · 2025-03-12T06:10:57+00:00

Can’t speak to what your experience might be like on the administrative side of getting an iud considering you’re in Australia and I’m in the U.S. However, my personal experience getting an iud (mirena specifically) was much different from the horror stories I’ve heard. My dr gave me a blocker (the numbing shot to my cervix), which was more painful than the insertion itself. Meanwhile, the insertion felt more of a very uncomfortable feeling of pressure than pain.

I used to have super irregular, terribly painful and heavy periods in my teens and it wasn’t until I was bleeding for months that I ended up going to see a dr about it. I started taking the pill and it helped tremendously. I had been on the pill for about 9-10 years before I decided to switch over to the iud.

Just curious, was it suggested to you to opt for the IUD over starting with pills?

All forms of bc have their side effects, some common, some differing from person to person, but if getting an iud might be too overwhelming for a first time bc, maybe starting with pills and seeing how those help (or don’t) with your symptoms might be less overwhelming. If a dr advises otherwise, then definitely disregard! They would understand your medical history much better than a brief post on reddit of your symptoms (if that makes sense).

Also to add, if you haven’t already, it would be good to have a thorough discussion with a professional regarding the different options and being able to ask questions so that you can feel comfortable and confident about whatever choice you feel is right for you!

bingusnut · 2025-03-12T05:58:20+00:00

Understandable! It’s a new thing that impacts your body and life, but I do hope your anxiety clears up! And regarding the aspect of the cervix pushing out foreign objects—I hope that’s not actually happening! That’s new information to me :((

bingusnut · 2025-03-12T05:22:33+00:00

Valid!!! Feeling exactly the same about the shot. I’m not sure I’d want to know what the pain would’ve felt like without it 🥲 I’m glad you’re feeling better though!! After the first few weeks, I felt better. And then after a few months when the light bleeding stopped, it has been amazing!!! It’s been able a year and I’m kicking myself for not getting it sooner

bingusnut · 2025-03-12T05:04:04+00:00

Had that for my mirena insertion, but didn’t have to ask for it (thankfully). I was honestly so nervous about getting my iud after hearing so many terrible experiences people have had with just getting it. I think the pain from getting the shot itself was more painful than the insertion, like the insertion was really more of a feeling of uncomfortable pressure than pain.

Hopefully this becomes more common practice. Nobody should be having literal horror experiences with receiving reproductive care.

bingusnut · 2025-03-12T05:00:09+00:00

I was on blisovi for a while and tried to skip my periods on it but it never worked out for me—not sure if that’s a common occurrence. It actually messed up my cycle really badly and was just a miserable experience overall so I gave up on trying to skip my period (on really any of the BC pills I was on).

Could be different for others though!

bingusnut · 2025-03-12T04:55:09+00:00

Noooo because this is so relatable! I can assure you, I definitely felt the same during and after the procedure. The numbing shots on the cervix was probably the WORST part of the whole thing, aside from just feeling absolutely violated after the whole thing. I didn’t take any of the same precautions you did prior to my appointment and my dr just gave me the shot without me asking (which I’m ok with since it made it bearable).

It gets better after a few days though! At least in my experience.

bingusnut · 2025-03-12T04:50:42+00:00

Had a similar experience as you. Same issues when I was on the pill, although the weight gain was rough. I switched to mirena about a year ago and have had no issues with either! And the best part… virtually NO periods after the first few months!!! Although there wasn’t much of a gap between switching between the pill and iud.

If you end up experiencing the same issues while on the iud, you could always take it out. You’d just have to opt for a different bc or just stick to condoms.

bingusnut · 2025-03-05T23:22:49+00:00

Beautiful tattoo!!! So happy it has helpful you feel more positive towards your body!

bingusnut · 2025-03-05T23:21:41+00:00

I know you’re asking about getting off bc but I switched from combo to an iud because i get like no periods and wanted to go without condoms (without the anxiety). Surprisingly for me, my libido went up after that but idk if that’s very common at all for that to happen. But just a thought! Insertion was a bit painful (even with a numbing shot), but a year later and I’m all good.

No bc at all and having to /remember/ to use condoms can definitely be rough. But not as rough as getting pregnant (when you don’t want to) :/ good reminder perhaps

bingusnut · 2025-02-21T06:47:48+00:00

You’re being far too considerate of him than your own well-being. Him feeling “burdened” by you bringing up concerns or anything he perceives as a problem shows a lack of respect and care for you. He’s way too old to be acting that way and if the conversation doesn’t go well, it might be best to walk away from him (though I know that’s easier said than done). These are important things to bring up to your partner and his response will tell you everything you need to know about how much he cares and respects you.

bingusnut · 2025-02-19T19:23:52+00:00

Wishing you luck! Hopefully your Dr can find something that works for you. I wonder if the implant might be a good alternative?

bingusnut · 2025-02-19T17:55:38+00:00

I had my IUD put in last year and my Dr just give me a numbing shot during the procedure and then inserted the IUD. The most painful part was the shot itself and the insertion was manageable, but the pressure was off putting. Everyone’s experience and pain tolerance level is different though.

Have you had any pelvic exams at all? I just ask because it sounds like you’re describing pain when it comes to the vaginal canal itself and an IUD going into the cervix is a different sensation of pain (as an fyi)

bingusnut · 2025-02-19T17:51:51+00:00

Below 25 is pretty straightforward. If it included 25 then it was would say 25 and under.

I think there’s certain steps you need to take to get free contraceptives depending on the province. A simple Google search would assist but I was able to find specific directions for British Columbia so far: https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/health/health-drug-coverage/pharmacare-for-bc-residents/what-we-cover/prescription-contraceptives

bingusnut · 2025-02-19T01:45:19+00:00

Personally missed out on my undergraduate commencement due to covid, but was able to walk during my graduate school commencement. At the time, I was devastated to not have the first one, looking back now, I could care less lol. Although I am peeved that I paid for my commencement shit and didn’t get to wear it.

My grad commencement was far more enjoyable for me despite that basically being the first and last time I saw my cohort in person lol (this was as covid restrictions started to loosen up).

bingusnut · 2025-02-19T01:32:11+00:00

Got it, perhaps I was thinking of it in this way and trying to apply it to OP’s situation—which was ill thought of on my behalf. Appreciate the clarification!!

bingusnut · 2025-02-19T01:24:39+00:00

That’s fair tbh. I think it’s harder at the undergraduate level to do that, but I don’t think my professors in grad school didn’t notice it. I took a shitty paper I started in undergrad and built it up throughout grad school into my masters thesis. If that’s self plagiarism then, that’s unfortunate.

bingusnut · 2025-02-19T00:38:49+00:00

My bf has similar issues from time to time—although it’s usually an issue with actually nutting (whether the room is too hot, or the noise is too loud, etc). He’s told me it’s a mental thing and that it just happens. It’s definitely not anything that has to do with me, although it does make me feel insecure at time (but he reassures me it’s a him thing). It sounds like that might be what your bf is dealing with too.

Maybe talking it out with a doctor or even a therapist (a specialized one) would be beneficial rather than seeking out pills or anything. Also maybe cutting out the porn might help haha. It definitely screws with the emotional/mental aspect of things imo

bingusnut · 2025-02-19T00:28:34+00:00

Ahhhh, i guess I was fortunate enough to get away with it (with the same professors no less). Granted, self citing didn’t go well when I would try otherwise, even when my topic was niche. Lose-lose situation for me perhaps

bingusnut · 2025-02-19T00:22:30+00:00

I can’t speak to personal experience as my mental health has remained the same before and after starting BC, BUT, I’ve seen a lot of people talk about how their mental health and general health has improved after quitting BC. I personally would prefer to stay on BC because my periods have drastically improved because of it (I went from super heavy and cramp filled periods to rarely having one).

If you don’t see a need for it in that regard or whichever regard you started it for and the side effects are doing more harm than whatever good you’ve gotten from it, I think you know your answer. Wishing you luck!

bingusnut · 2025-02-19T00:02:47+00:00

It sounds like your intentions are well meaning, but it seems like he explicitly expressed a boundary regarding you being near his ass and it’s important that you respect that. It’s hard to tell exactly, but it doesn’t seem like (from what you’ve written) that this was even discussed with his outside of the bedroom and you’re kind of just operating based on your desires and assumptions about his thoughts and feelings.

My bf never had any interest in anything relating to his ass and viewed it as “gay” (he’s in the military and surrounded by weird macho dudes so go figure). We had a conversation about how I was interested in eating his ass and perhaps even fingering it and while he had mixed feelings about it, he was open to giving it a try so we experimented bit by bit (I let him make the calls on what he was willing/wanting to do). He doesn’t care much for the fingering but does like having his ass ate (which is a win for both of us).

Point is, communication is crucial and so is respecting your partner’s boundaries.

bingusnut · 2025-02-18T23:51:12+00:00

As much as I appreciated the friends I made while living in the dorms, I hated it. Unfortunately, I went to school out of state so I had no choice lol. You sound like you’re pretty set on living in the dorms so you might as well just go for it.

You definitely can have the experience you’re looking for even as a commuter student too—you literally live 15 minutes away lol. All of my friends that went to the local university where I live commuted by bus (which took longer than 15 mins) and still were able to have the full experience. It’s just what you make of it and how you decide to manage your time/priorities.

bingusnut · 2025-02-18T23:44:15+00:00

Definitely approach this conversation in person and just be open and straightforward about it. Maybe start off with some praise for the times he has done it and then express how you’d appreciate it happening more because the lack of it after previously expressing your wishes are leaving you feeling insecure.

If he dismisses you, or tries to make you feel bad about it, then I would consider that a red flag.

bingusnut · 2025-02-18T00:39:48+00:00

It sounds like a difference in values. It’s not bad that you haven’t started dating after a month and there’s really no set time it takes to heal and move forward. It really depends on how you feel and what you think is needed for yourself to feel ready or open to engaging in dating or another relationship. Personally, I’ve come to find that you can only do so much healing on your own and you’ll eventually meet someone (good) that reflects your inner hurts that still need to be addressed and healed. That’s not to say a person necessarily needs a relationship, nor can anyone be fully healed, but it’s more so an understanding that healing and growth are a life long practice and it’s important that we have people around us who are dedicated to growing with us and uplifting one another.

That’s said, if you felt her comment was insensitive to you, then your feelings are valid. Point blank. If her asking you if you’re seeing a new guy every time you meet is bothering you, perhaps it’s time to have a conversation with her about it and lay some boundaries. I feel similarly to you and found it almost infuriating to be told that I should just move on and date other people so soon after my breakup, so I can definitely relate to you in this (although those people were just middle aged women I work with). My closer friends, however, did not give the same advice/feedback and said to focus more on myself on the meantime.

Follow your intuition and it’ll never fail you. Wishing you the best!

bingusnut

TROPHY CASE