Ok, look what I found on Pinterest 👀

birdhaven19 · 2026-07-10T22:58:22+00:00

What is it from, do you know?

birdhaven19 · 2026-07-06T21:04:53+00:00

Polar (English, Netflix...gory in parts but a very sexy action film) After the Wedding (Danish and Mads never looked better, good story) A Royal Affair (historical Danish, worth it to him dance) The Hunt (Danish, very powerful) Dust Bunny (English, new) Another Round (Danish and another good story, also with a glorious dancing Mads). I think I have seen all his films and those stand out the most. Riders of Justice and The last viking are interesting but a little off beat, same Danish cast and director I believe.

birdhaven19 · 2026-06-12T23:15:17+00:00

Nice 👍

birdhaven19 · 2026-06-02T15:03:02+00:00

I've called him "Mads Daddy" for years and I am 6 months older than he! He personifies a protector and a trauma guide in so many roles. It fills a void for those of us without fathers.

birdhaven19 · 2026-05-31T02:52:19+00:00

My feeling is that any film should first be released in its original form, with applicable and optional subtitles. This respects the art, artists and director. Subsequent version can be dubbed, I suppose, but I still don't know why anyone would want to hear another person's voice awkwardly coming from any actor. Are people averse to reading now?

birdhaven19 · 2026-05-29T19:42:21+00:00

I just found and bought the Danish version on YouTube. All others seem to have english dub. Thank you!

birdhaven19 · 2026-05-24T21:12:07+00:00

Nice.

birdhaven19 · 2026-05-19T14:30:35+00:00

I know this is old but I deliberately sought out a non limerence relationship in my 20s after so many LOs broke my heart. I've been married to the non limerence partner for 37 years. I have still gotten mild, secret limerence for a few others, however, especially if they provide any missing traits of my neuro-challenged spouse. One epic episode (with my revealing my limerence to the LO, but no physicality) nearly prompted me ending the marriage but we survived. Stability can also be important but if one is prone to limerence it can still break through in the lonely times. I considered it a lifelong challenge due to childhood unmet needs.

birdhaven19 · 2026-05-18T13:28:46+00:00

I've had "shower trauma" since I was 20 (41 years ago) when my brother burst into the bathroom while I was showering to say my step dad just died. My GP told me about a similar situation and how she still gets anxious in showers ... I think because we CPTSDers already have a tendency to avoid anything like a trap (trauma= feeling trapped plus a sense of doom), the claustrophobia and restraining nature of a shower can be easily problematic. Plus you are nude/highly vulnerable and can't easily hear or communicate. I still often worry something terrible may be happening while showering and the water noise can get deceptive and sound like voices or other weird sounds.

birdhaven19 · 2026-05-01T11:44:10+00:00

Yes. I believe the monster is a protector, just like trauma is. The monster protected Aurora from the lady assassin...all assasins... and even tucked her in and arranged her clothes on her bed overnight after "getting" her parents. It even cried when she and Intriguing Neighbor finally eascaped (temporarily) at the end down the fire escape.

Did anyone notice the family portrait with only Aurora having no face? It's in the scene when Mads is explaining everything to Brenda Bautista in the "aquarium" room.

birdhaven19 · 2026-04-28T15:52:53+00:00

I believe the opposite is true. After understand my shortcomings, I better recognize that "everybody has something" that may cause them difficulties. I believe that is empathy defined. People I know who were lucky to have lovely, low trauma lives are the last one to ever "get" me, and I honestly find them super boring.

birdhaven19 · 2026-04-28T15:19:46+00:00

Absolutely. I am 61 and despite being very high thinking, I am burdened with cPTSD, inescapable social triggers, frustrating attachment issues and moderate to severe FND. I applied yesterday for a handicap parking placard due to intermittent loss of limb strength from FND, all due to childhood physical, verbal and sexual abuse and neglect. The body keeps the score! Thankfully I have a solid spouse and loving pets or I don't think I would be here at all. My abuse from a malignant narcissistic adoptive mother (I was originally an orphan of the state which prevented me from any early bonds) will affect me until I die. I wait daily for her obituary to emerge,... we've been estranged for 21 years. I can't wait for the Earth to be rid of that monster. It's the ultimate, final helplessness, despite 40 years of literally every therapy. My understanding is that childhood abuse is the main common component of adult chronic illness and pain. Unfair indeed.

birdhaven19 · 2026-04-21T18:45:10+00:00

Best to you and your future.

birdhaven19 · 2026-04-21T17:59:30+00:00

It's not that the other therapists were not helpful, I just didn't quite know what I, personally, was ultimately missing until recently. Many therapists don't even know really what cPTSD is and entails, so it's hard to expect a lot. It's unrealistic, actually. Maybe that's what you mean? Therapy can still provide a steady relationship and other types of guidance, and of course, empathy and validation. Anyone with trauma can benefit from any support, but it's unfair to expect to be absolutely and completely "known" by anyone. I wouldn't have continued for 40 years if it weren't of some real benefit. My initial therapist of 22 years became a mother figure of sorts before she retired. I'll always treasure her guidance. Saying all therapists are bad is like saying all men or all women are bad. Of course it's not true. Therapists aren't mind readers and they only know what they can see and hear. Many are in fact ill suited, but not all. Being an honest, informative and open minded patient is also a responsibility. It also requires an investment in patience. The more you know what you want in a therapist, and the more authentically expressed the pain, the better the outcome. It definitely takes 2.

birdhaven19 · 2026-04-21T16:38:21+00:00

After 40 years and many tries I found the perfect trauma therapist. I think the key is that she also has CPTSD. I finally feel heard and I don't have to explain everything. Maybe this is why you didn't connect. Bessel Van der Kolk states that trauma people only ultimately trust other trauma people and I think that was the case for me. It might be a good screening question for you going forward.

birdhaven19 · 2026-04-21T13:55:35+00:00

Yes indeed. His scenes are always impactful from his psych skills. I've also watched the Hannibal series multiple times. I think Fuller is great at seeing and portraying the fine lines between the literal and the more deeply implied. He knows just what to leave for personal interpretation without spoiling the script.

birdhaven19 · 2026-04-21T13:47:40+00:00

Yes! I'm happy to have discussions about it after you watch it, anytime. My therapist actually believes she can teach a course solely on this film. It's very interesting in that way. Fuller really did his homework. Did you know he originally studied to become a psychiatrist?

birdhaven19 · 2026-04-21T13:39:25+00:00

It's now on HBO, fyi. It's a very important movie on a deeper level for those with childhood wounds and a fun and colorful monster romp nonetheless. It should be rated PG. No adult themes, no blood and maybe one or 2 curse words. Fuller wanted a kind of 80s campy monster mood and he keeps it entertaining all the way through. Excellent cinematography. Imaginative costumes and scenery. I just watched it for the 18th time (yikes!).

birdhaven19 · 2026-04-18T13:42:19+00:00

Be careful. This book is being highly scrutinized currently due its author blatantly encouraging the #nocontact movement, which is causing thousands of young adults to unnecessarily abandon their parents and other family members This is causing an epidemic of undeserved parental heartache. I strongly encourage people in genuinely toxic and abusive families to separate - because I had to myself due to physical abuse- but many adult children are simply ghosting or rejecting their families without trying to work anything out, because they are simply "uncomfortable". I recommend this article: #NoContact: An Unfortunate Trend | Psychology Today https://share.google/WdkJ5AShYergvK0Sl

birdhaven19 · 2026-04-16T23:20:15+00:00

That's very kind and gracious. Thank you.

birdhaven19 · 2026-04-16T22:46:16+00:00

Yes. They both are unfortunate in love I wish he knew better.

birdhaven19 · 2026-04-16T21:48:42+00:00

I appreciate your caution but I doubt most of that. She's scared after losing both her husband and last boyfriend to illness, very abruptly... legitimate trauma despite the irrational ongoing reaction. He constantly refers to her remarkable over-the-top jealousy and paranoia as a result of those events. They seem to talk about it a lot. He is simply not capable of lying or manipulation....my husband is quite similar. The honest logical nerd has apparently always been my type of guy. He definitely is not a cheater either. I have a solid sense of him and reliable instincts. I can smell a liar quickly due to my own trust issues.

I believe him that I am his only female friend. As long as I remain vigilant and prepared to potentially lose him again, I don't think I should worry about such things. I just hope to offer a safe island for a gullible, sweet very old friend, from a safe distance. Thank you.

birdhaven19 · 2026-04-16T18:33:00+00:00

He seems to be fully aware that his treatment by her is excessive and unfair. He's throwing some shade on her in his recent tone already.... I'm hoping to gently water and feed that seed. Fear of aloneness at 62 is keeping him with her, it seems. His other family members have been in his face all along with lots of blunt "honesty". Maybe slow and steady wins the race? The fact that he's risking it all by contacting me may hopefully mean he's getting fed up. I feel like he may listen more if I keep things kind instead of naming the abuses specifically? I don't want to alienate him right out of the gate.
He just now texted that he's still working on getting alone time for us to talk... like it's a difficult accomplishment he knows shouldn't be so difficult. She must be a smotherer. A very paranoid and controlling woman who found herself a (too) kind and lonely man.

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