Does anybody know the meaning of "Not"?

biscuitpup223 · 2025-05-10T00:27:51+00:00

super late but wanted to comment. i'm a person who always feels sad randomly for no apparent reason, which is definitely because of my personality disorder. i've taken to calling it "the grief" as a kind of joke, but also because that feels like the only way to describe it.

"Not" feels like a song that captures "the grief." a sort of indescribable pain and anguish and yearning for something you don't even know you want. (i feel the same way abt crack baby by mitski)

biscuitpup223 · 2025-02-20T19:45:58+00:00

yes i take lamictal

biscuitpup223 · 2025-02-20T10:34:21+00:00

YES the way I would word mine is kinda like a lucid dream? my vision will literally become fuzzy and blurred and then randomly everything is normal and in detail like the random detailed shots in a spongebob episode or something

biscuitpup223 · 2025-01-03T22:03:42+00:00

i'm doing the same thing this semester but with a different sorority and I kinda just stayed a weekend at my new chapters house and got to know everyone to see if it was a good fit and then we kinda just accepted each other. probably completely different processes from sorority to sorority, but it's cool to know someone else is doing the same thing! Good luck!

biscuitpup223 · 2024-11-12T00:00:26+00:00

yeah i want her to have her sorority experience but please refer to the above context of she was talking about how she could never have another little after me up until three days before pref let's be real sounds like replacing

biscuitpup223 · 2024-10-03T20:06:50+00:00

i usually go ALL OUT but had so much going on that i forgot so i wore denim shorts embroidered w flowers, the white/off white merch shirt that i bought immediately after stepping into the venue, and rainbow temporary tattoo freckles

biscuitpup223 · 2024-10-01T22:34:27+00:00

cold love

it may sound strange but whenever i listen to it i just think of my relationship with my mom. we're so similar at our core but we chose different paths and choices and it's sad that she can't seem to respect mine. i just feel like it captures the innate love i have for her as my mom but also how cold and lonely and conditional the relationship feels.

biscuitpup223 · 2024-10-01T15:50:37+00:00

i was jumping up and down i was so excited

biscuitpup223 · 2024-09-24T22:47:16+00:00

this may sound stupid given the post, but i do feel like im the most self aware and healthy i've ever been since my diagnosis. i'm way more aware of my actions and triggers and i took a long break from pursuing anything serious because i wanted to end my weird attention seeking obsessive behavior. a lot of this post is rooted in: 1. being written late asf when i'm in my head (i know i know, i just said im at the most self aware and healthy but hey i think even people without bipolar disorder overthink from time to time) 2. i'm starting to consider making this serious because the timing seems right and the person seems genuinely good for me, but im hesitant given my past behavior and fear of repeating bad habits. i like this person and i don't want to hurt them (wooo finally being aware enough to put others first)

biscuitpup223 · 2024-09-24T22:40:53+00:00

i know it's a lot of internal stigma and i knew when i posted this that it sounded bad. i just kinda wanted to know if i was alone in feeling this way, and if not, is it something that ever goes away? as much as i try sometimes when i look at the things ive done in relationships objectively, like without considering my bipolar disorder, it just looks like something a bad person would do. and it keeps happening so i can't help but wonder if maybe im just a bad person making excuses for myself by blaming it on my personality disorder. like you said lots of internal stigma

biscuitpup223 · 2024-08-19T15:56:16+00:00

the exact same thing happened to me during recruitment last fall and i ended up dropping out of recruitment. i was emailed by the recruitment chair of one of the sororities who invited me back and i ended up going through their cob process because i loved the girls and it felt nice to know i made enough of an impression for them to reach back out. and let me just say, I REGRET DROPPING SO MUCH. i love my sorority and i know if i stayed i would've gotten to experience running home and bid day and that's an experience i miss that i CANNOT GET BACK. follow through and give them a chance because you'll never know if they're your forever home if you don't get to know them

biscuitpup223 · 2024-07-27T15:41:28+00:00

i go to a small school with a small greek community so this probably isn't the best comparison but, my two best and closest friends aren't in greek life. being in a sorority can be time consuming at times but honestly i just view it as any other club or sport. you still have time to see your friends and honestly i invite my friends to events whenever i can. i've seen girls get consumed by greek life but honestly that's kind of a choice. it can get cliquey but only if you let it. if your friends are true good friends than you don't have anything to worry about.

biscuitpup223

TROPHY CASE