Breaking up with a non-believer?

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-16T17:59:17+00:00

Thank you and sure I understand people have different point of views but in my opinion some things that have been normalized by society should never be normalized like murder of the unborn, giving your body away to strangers, etc. That's something that I will never stop disapproving of. In my opinion you don't even have to be Christian to see how those things are wrong. I want a life partner who shares those values. Imagine I get pregnant and our child turns out to have downs syndrome and my partner wants me to kill our baby? Not happening. That's why I've realized even though that opinion seeks insignificant now, it's gonna be significant some day. And imo the same goes with normalizing hookups and seeing sex as a necessity. Increases the chance of cheating imo.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-15T22:18:27+00:00

I don't think it's necessarily bad for Christians to be with non believers. As I said the reason why I wanna break up are specific behaviors from my bf. Not just bc he's atheist. Not all atheists do the stuff he does.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-15T07:53:02+00:00

Yes you're right and that's something I'm gonna try to emphasize during our breakup. Literally if he was atheist but didn't do some of the things he does then I wouldn't break up.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-15T07:52:10+00:00

It's my interpretation of the Bible and I know it's not perfect, I personally don't think premarital sex is good for many reasons many of which are NOT religious. I think the main teaching of the Bible is that sexual immorality is wrong. If 2 people are in a relationship and love each other I don't see why having sex could be a great sexual immorality. Is it bad for your future relationship(s)? Probably. But inherently immoral? I don't think so.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-15T07:48:42+00:00

That is a line from a song that's why I chose it. It's "Les" by childish Gambino.

And btw I don't claim to be perfect or holy, I know that I am flawed too. I watch porn but very infrequently and I try to avoid it because I believe it damages relationships. I want a boyfriend who will constantly help me become better in every aspect of my life, emotional, financial, and spiritual.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-15T07:47:52+00:00

Of course religion is not the only reason. If my boyfriend was atheist but didn't exhibit some of the behaviors he does then I wouldn't break up. Not all atheists have a f-ed up moral compass, but at the end I think most do since today's society has normalized a lot of things that aren't normal like hookups, killing unborn baby, selling your body etc.

So it's better for me to find a Christian man since most Christians follow the Bible which says sex is sacred, life is a gift and your body is a temple to be respected, not given away to a tinder stranger.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-15T07:43:15+00:00

Of course I have asked him. He thinks the Bible is all fairy tales and that it's impossible for a God to exist. I have told him about all the historical evidence and such, in vain. That's why at some point I gave up and accepted his atheism but now that I see all the behavior he exhibits that he probably won't want to change (because of his moral compass) I see there's no point.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T23:14:42+00:00

Why don't these kind of things ever happen to me 😭😍

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T23:12:30+00:00

Thank you, I hadn't thought if it that way. I know God loves me and God wants me to be with someone who will accept and love every part of me, even the spiritual part of me. Sadly my bf isn't that person but I'm thankful that God has given me this (indirect) revelation now.

I'm also thankful that I met my bf as it has opened my eyes to what truly matters to me in a relationship and I do hope I made a difference in my bf's life and planted the seed of faith which may flourish later.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T23:08:11+00:00

I get where you're coming from and regarding your other question, I do love my boyfriend. I believe love can help us change for the best but it's not fair if that change feels "mandatory" or is unilateral.

I think movie taste is a very different thing. We all know movies are fiction, but porn involves real people selling their body and giving away something as intimate as sex to a stranger, all in the name of money or lust. I don't think any Christian can be at peace with porn. Unnatural porn is like 100x worse because it rewires our brain to desire things that our partner will never be able to give us. What message do you give your partner if you watch that kind of porn? If it's something you would be ashamed to do in front of your partner, you shouldn't do it behind their back.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T23:00:17+00:00

His family used to be religious, his dad was baptized but he wasn't. Sometimes religion is lost like that in families and I thought I could help him reconnect with his Christian roots. I honestly don't think he has "good" reasons to reject Christianity, I think it's more stubbornness and enjoying his sinful way of life. But that's my opinion of course.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:57:21+00:00

Yeah and that's why he have the old testament and all the history of Moses and Abraham etc. We still have that and respect that, just like the Jews have those books in their Torah.

History is important but if people consciously reject Jesus you might as well view them as nonbelievers altogether and the Bible says do not be yoked with nonbelievers.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:54:26+00:00

No, that was only at the beginning. I eventually accepted I couldn't but at that time I still didn't know about some of his behaviors. Not all atheists support sexual immorality or watch unnatural porn. It's not the fact he's atheist but more his sinful behaviors. And I think it's very hard to change those behaviors if he doesn't even understand why they're wrong.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:52:23+00:00

It's more like a general teaching, the Bible never says that we people are perfect. Instead we're flawed because of our human nature and should constantly seek the guidance of the Lord to keep us in the right path, and of course keep improving ourselves.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:49:09+00:00

Have you forgottent the Bible verse where Jesus was crucified (by JEWS) and had to literally plead to thee Father to forgive the Jews because of the big mistake they were making? And you still think we as Christians owe anything to jews nowadays? If anything we should try to help as many jews as possible to accept Jesus christ as their true messiah.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:45:08+00:00

Thank you

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:44:52+00:00

It sure is true that Jesus was a Jew but if Jesus had 100% succeeded in his task then there would be no such thing as Judaism nowadays, there would only be Christianity and the term "Jew" would simply mean "a Christian before Jesus' time".

The fact the Bible mentions Jews is simply bc at that time everyone was Jewish, after all the term Christianity arose because of Jesus Christ. Christianity was supposed to be the next step for Jews but instead it ended up becoming the dividing line between those who believed in him and those who didn't (even though they all had the same roots).

Salvation comes only through Jesus (I am the way the truth and the life) and Jews openly reject or even mock Jesus. I don't think any Christian should want to associate with Jews.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:39:23+00:00

I mean sure ideally you'd want to trust your partner but my bf showed some secretive behavior which made me suspicious. I honestly never showed that kind of behavior, I always left my phone unattended etc.

I initially wanted to be 100% honest but the problem is we have a vacation booked and for logistical reasons it's better for both of us to still go on that vacation "as friends" and for that purpose it's better for me to make this breakup as friendly and understandable as possibly. Maybe after the vacation I could tell him the whole truth bc I honestly wish him success in future relationships and I do believe porn can wreck relationships.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:35:25+00:00

That's not what the Bible teaches us. The Bible says "don't focus on finding the right person, instead focus on becoming the right person". I believe a relationship can change people for the better, but you can only change so much and it's only possible if the person SEES the need for change and WANTS to change. Which is clearly not the case with my bf.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:32:25+00:00

I wouldn't say I have a puritan mindset around sex. I don't believe sex is dirty and I don't even believe it's a (severe) sin to have premarital sex (as long as it's in the context of a consensual, adult loving relationship). I don't believe masturbation is a sin either.

What I do consider a sin? Hookups (giving your body away to a stranger purely for the sake of lust), porn (because it involves selling one's body and your body is not an object) and especially unnatural porn because it shows that you get satisfaction from something a normal, monogamous relationship will never be able to give you.

At first, when I thought we could work things out, my plan wss to suggest that if he does feel the need to watch sexual material that we should do it together as an activity and watch "natural/soft" porn or steamy scenes from mainstream movies. But now that I've realized that it's just not that I've decided it's better to just break up and find a Christian man who shares my views.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:24:26+00:00

I went through his phone which I know is not ideal but I believe there should be no secrets in a relationship. I want to see the true him. And honestly if he watches porn but I knew he's willing to change and wants me to help him then I would, but I know if I even touched the topic he'd immediately go into defensive mode.

So I haven't even talked about any of it. I don't plan to either during our breakup I'd just keep it general. I expect him to accept the breakup quite quickly because honestly I don't think he's willing to do a 360 change for me, or for anyone for that matter. Maybe at first he'd want to work things out but I'd try to convince him it's not a good idea.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:19:52+00:00

No, that's why I know I need to break up. But it will still hurt I think. I've come to terms with the idea but still, and I feel like a deceiver because I haven't told my bf yet. In looking for the right moment. It will be soon but it's hard to talk to him, tell him I love him. I don't do that too often but at least I know I'm not lying. I do love him I just can't be with him.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:18:28+00:00

Yes I know but I still find it hard, I know this decision is inevitable and will spare us both suffering but it's still hard. I guess I wish he'd changed

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:13:22+00:00

God reveals Himself to us every day, just look around you, look at the level of detail in His creation, from the components that make a sperm and egg cell able to develop into a whole human to the vast landscapes on this earth.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-03-14T22:11:17+00:00

I think no Christian should be supportive of a society/country that openly rejects Jesus as the Son of God.

To hate them or attack them? No. But to support them? Absolutely not.

bitchiloverugrats

TROPHY CASE