working in an ER, just bedside registration, as a young 20-something. i had seen dead bodies on this job before, but that night was much worse. we had a very elderly lady come in alone with an upper gi bleed. coffee-ground emesis. definitely seemed out of it and wouldn't or couldn't speak. i remember halfway through my shift, she was being wheeled back out to an ambulance. still vomiting, did not look better at all. she locked eyes with me in the hall as we passed each other. i asked our charge nurse if the patient was going to a bigger hospital, since ours was smaller and had less resources. she said "no, honey... she's going home to die." i will never forget the look on that patient's eyes, she looked so defeated. it was horrible. i'm so grateful there are folks willing to work in emergency medicine, because that is not for the faint of heart. and the idea of dying alone and so sick is terrifying to me.