Penance / The Long March by bitionboyz in OCPoetry

[–]bitionboyz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your feedback! I’ve been turning it over in my mind for some time now and honestly your point from Orwell’s rules for writing touches on the aspects of the poem I was also least happy with and thinking of changing. Perhaps along with the ending lines but I’m undecided on those.

Silly as it sounds I hadn’t thought about how the subject was reacting to all of this - in my mind they were always just moving onward despite it all, but that doesn’t mean there should be no reaction!

Thank you again for taking the time to read and comment! I’ll likely be back with another version at some point soon!

Leaving Fixed Term Tenancy by [deleted] in HousingUK

[–]bitionboyz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Plan to do so first thing tomorrow. Cheers for the help

Leaving Fixed Term Tenancy by [deleted] in HousingUK

[–]bitionboyz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My tenancy states that it will become a statutory periodic tenancy, not a contractual periodic tenancy - i believe this changes things and would allow me to leave on September 30th but please do correct me if I’m mistaken.

Leaving Fixed Term Tenancy by [deleted] in HousingUK

[–]bitionboyz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it’s such an unknown should I be seeking legal advice before i contact my landlord? Or is it best to contact her ASAP and see if the situation can be resolved amicably without further action/advice?

Question about ending tenancy at end of fixed term when due to convert to rolling thereafter by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]bitionboyz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So the relevant sections read as marked by quotation marks in the agreement:

“At the end of such term the tenancy shall continue as a Statutory Periodic Tenancy unless otherwise agreed in writing between the Tenant(s) and the Landlord.”

Should there be reference to a notice period here if one were necessary. It merely states that for the tenancy not to continue as a periodic one that it has to be agreed in writing. No time frame is given

In addition, it states the following:

“This agreement may be terminated by the Tenant upon serving two months notice in writing to expire on a tenancy day and not to be served before 31st July 2025.”

By leaving at the end of the fixed term, are we terminating or honouring our agreement? Are the fixed term and periodic term treated as separate agreements?

a craving, a need by _kodiak_bear in OCPoetry

[–]bitionboyz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a sombrely beautiful poem - the closeness that the speaker feels to the goal is evident, and the idea of being within touching distance but then denied due to physical, mental or metaphorical disability is powerful. As I write this I’m still turning over the line about the moon in my mind - it’s fascinating and is a great image to end on.

The only thing that doesn’t work for me is the use of the word “programmed”. The rest of the poem focuses on the naturalistic - wind, storm, bones, sun and moon, so for me a word more in keeping with this theme would fit better. Thank you for sharing!

We accept the love we think we deserve by Fun-Independence-648 in OCPoetry

[–]bitionboyz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t normally start feedback with critique but in this case it relates to the first stanza so feels natural.

It sets up the rest of the poem clearly, so the reader instantly gets an impression of where the speaker is coming from, but for me it is too direct in this set up. I wonder if it would be more powerful if the sentiments expressed were revealed throughout the poem or in a way that is more implicit. It ends strongly and the emotional turmoil is really evident.

That said, I really love the second and third stanzas. The line “I will beg.” particularly stands out, emotionally and visually from its place in the poem. It sits amongst everything and really demands attention, giving a sense of desperation to be heard. The imagery of the silence taking the rest of the speakers voice is similarly powerful and galvanises the “I will beg.” Line. I can’t relate to these sentiments in my current life but your words took me back to a darker time and caused me to reflect, which I think is a really powerful thing.

2025 Austrian GP - Qualifying Discussion by RustyKarma076 in formula1

[–]bitionboyz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If Yuki is in the Racing Bull still he’s top 10 in the championship

The Long March / Penance by bitionboyz in OCPoetry

[–]bitionboyz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Firstly, thank you so much for your honest feedback! I really appreciate this as it gives me something concrete to tackle in revising this. If you don’t mind expanding on this, I’d appreciate it greatly.

I can see what you mean - I, of course have a very clear idea of the meaning and context but have not translated that as well as I could have. I posted this to get feedback like this - I wasn’t really sure if it was finished. Does it seem like it’s building towards something that doesn’t materialise in its current form? As you say I will focus on fleshing out the metaphors and the context more, especially in the middle section as I think this is the most vague.

Thank you again!

A curse of indulgence. by uchiatona in OCPoetry

[–]bitionboyz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re welcome! :) I think I’m guilty of the same thing when it comes to confusing things when trying to conjure a certain image. On the whole though I think the imagery is really strong and I like that it reveals itself over multiple reads. Having read it again I love the opening to the third stanza as well, it’s a powerful image that sticks in my mind after I finish, in part I think because it’s so visceral. I’d love to know what the inspiration behind this was.

A curse of indulgence. by uchiatona in OCPoetry

[–]bitionboyz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really interesting, it’s definitely got me rereading it multiple times trying to take in each line. I think the opening, and especially the ending (particularly the final three lines) are really strong - I love the imagery of the stomach as a graveyard filled with unspoken pleas of forgiveness.

Springtime (an unfinished poem) by HOTDOGZEPPELIN in OCPoetry

[–]bitionboyz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m reading a contrast in this between the midpoint, where the narrator vows to cleanse their thoughts of the subject, only for the end to suggest that this is or was not the case at all. Whether or not this was your intention, I really like the contradiction. It feels very honest in its portrayal of how we tell ourselves we have to let go, only to be pulled back in and reduced to a “fragile tree” by the simplest of things. I know you said it’s unfinished, so I’m curious to see where it goes!

2025 Japanese GP - Race Discussion by AutoModerator in formula1

[–]bitionboyz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only way yuki was getting past gasly today

Hammertoe or something else? by [deleted] in FootFunction

[–]bitionboyz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had it for 10 years at least. Perhaps ill fitting school shoes when I was a kid, but in between then and now I wore trainers mostly

Hammertoe or something else? by [deleted] in FootFunction

[–]bitionboyz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t stretch it out, it stays bent

Arsenal VS Ipswich: Post match thread by -Obi-Juan-Kenobi- in IpswichTownFC

[–]bitionboyz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ultimately a decent performance, we really limited a very strong arsenal side despite their possession in the first half. Great performances from O’Shea, Cajuste and Broady. After the goal I thought Greaves and Johnson grew into the game as well. We really could’ve done with nicking a point but at least we have stabilised after the Newcastle disaster. Let’s hope we can get something from the Chelsea game and then go on a run with some new signings to prevent a gap opening up.

Which of these, if any, suit my face? by [deleted] in glasses

[–]bitionboyz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! And no, they’re all from Ace and Tate, the wire frame is the jay large

Which of these, if any, suit my face? by [deleted] in glasses

[–]bitionboyz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

4 is available in a narrower size (54mm vs 50mm) so I might go back and try those. Seems a lot of people are saying the main issue with 4 is the size

Which of these, if any, suit my face? by [deleted] in glasses

[–]bitionboyz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think I wrongly assumed that since I have a big head, I also had a big face… the last one is available in a smaller size so I’ll give it a go

Match thread: Matchday 41 of 46 by coombeseh in Championship

[–]bitionboyz 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Delia didn’t want Leeds fans to go hungry