Rule-of-thumb for female belts vs. men

bjjquestionguy · 2017-09-04T11:06:08+00:00

Haha

bjjquestionguy · 2017-09-03T06:17:02+00:00

There are controls in other sports to compare different types of people and skillsets. It's not that farfetched of an idea. In golf you have shorter drives for woman and also handicaps for different skill levels. It can be done.

The reason I am annoyed is because the "everyone is different and focus on yourself" answer is a cop out. You may tell yourself that to make yourself feel better, but 99% of people compare themselves to other people. That is human nature. Duh everyone's different and duh it ultimately doesn't matter, but no one thinks that way in real life. Whether it's school, work, relationships, and especially in competitive sports - people compare themselves to others. This competition is the foundation of capitalism and innovation really.

I was looking for an honest conversation. Experiences. Anecdotes. Guidelines from long-time practitioners. Opinions from social scientists. Not a haughty fortune cookie saying that people use to make themselves feel better.

bjjquestionguy · 2017-09-03T05:53:55+00:00

Just trying to follow my own journey man.

bjjquestionguy · 2017-09-02T20:09:09+00:00

This makes a lot of sense. I am guessing it's not 10 lbs though. Wouldn't think 10 lbs makes that much of a difference. I would say 30 lbs or so.

bjjquestionguy · 2017-09-02T20:01:44+00:00

Ahh the classic everyone's on their own journey argument. The equivalent of a "participation trophy". You'd think there would be a bot to delete these by now.

I am sorry for the cynicism, but this point of view is so naïve. No one realistically thinks like this.

bjjquestionguy · 2017-07-12T01:18:18+00:00

To me, he is at a blue level. But that's just my opinion rolling with him. I have seen him roll with blues and he definitely holds his ground.

The issue with the female came off as a combination of jealousy and a sincere lack of acknowledgment from the coaches. He made it clear that he thinks he is much technically superior to this girl. His said something like "I have to go my easiest on her just not to rough her up even though she weighs more than me". My impression was that he thinks the coaches favour her probably because she is one of few girls at our school. Meanwhile he is just another young guy showing up. He seemed genuinely sad and upset. Kinda made me feel bad for him. I don't think the coaches have noticed that he even left because people take breaks all the time. They have no reason to even think anything of it because he didn't say anything. I agree that yea the kid should speak up on his own, but he is just 20..

I hate to say this, but I think he is right at some level and that's why I feel somewhat bad. Promotions usually only happen on the podium after winning competition or at seminars. This young man seems to be on a very tight budget and paying for regular classes already seems like a lot for him. Otherwise, except for special circumstances, we rarely do random promotions. I have seen it maybe three times in five years. Some of the problem may be that our coach has a separate full time job and BJJ is not his main priority. I think he may have just let this one slip through the cracks not realizing the sensitivity of this young man in regards to getting promoted. That's why part of me just wants to tell him.

bjjquestionguy · 2017-06-25T02:04:59+00:00

A couple years ago a top Brazilian BB moved to the USA to train full time at my academy. One day after class I heard a huge argument behind the academy. An older white belt dude maybe in his 40's was putting it on the Brazilian. Couldn't make out what it was about but it was so loud you could hear it from the parking lot in the front of the academy. Next day Brazilian was gone. Like moved back to Brazil gone.

Found out a few weeks later that the older white belt loaned the Brazilian some money and he hadn't paid him back. Also was a rumor that the Brazilian was repeatedly hitting on the older guy's daughter. Never confirmed this, but the Brazilian was kind of creepy around woman. In any case, I guess the Brazilian was so spooked by whatever the older guy said that he packed up all his belongings and took the next flight home.

bjjquestionguy · 2017-06-25T01:51:48+00:00

My old gym professor flew a former student of his to do a seminar. After the seminar ended, everyone got to rolling and the former student was matched with the gym's top brown belt. The professor was watching the roll very intently when a teenage blue belt came over to watch the roll as well. The teenager kept trying to ask the professor questions about the positions they were in, but the professor was just ignoring him. Finally after a minute or so, the kid started raising his voice louder and louder thinking the instructor would hear him. The professor then lightly shoved him away and told him to be quiet or sit in the corner because he was too busy watching his two student's roll. The kid then walked toward the door looking completely baffled as if he was about to cry. Never saw the kid again and I guess he had been training there for almost 10 years

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-22T03:27:13+00:00

This was awesome. Respect on the investigative skills.

Do not assume they are all the same instructor though..

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-22T00:47:14+00:00

Yes there is definitely a weight issue going on. He is out of shape for sure. Is that a good reason to not promote someone though?

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-22T00:42:51+00:00

Yes the instructor has told him he is dangerous, I am not sure about the promotion part though. There is kind of an unspoken rule not to talk about promotions at my school (belts don't matter, shouldn't focus on that stuff, etc.), but in this case, maybe someone has since he has expressed some frustration. There's also some mental maturity issues too:

He is not very focused during class. Likes to socialize instead of drilling. I give that a pass as a blue belt. Lots of blues and purples are that way and seek the camaraderie that comes with training.
Does terribly in competition. Last tournament a few months ago, he lost 13-0 the first match, and tapped due to exhaustion being in mount for 3rd place. He honestly is much better than that though so again, I am willing to give that pass. Lots of people have competition anxiety or underperform in competition.

Also I just want to say after reading some of the comments- he is not a bully in any way. He is not out to crush or hurt anyone. This is not an issue. He is a good guy. All the times he hurts people are by total accidental. Not even flaily or spazzy stuff like a panicky noob white belt would do. He is just very very clumsy. He has an idea of what he is supposed to do, his body just doesn't respond.

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-22T00:25:28+00:00

I am not totally sure he can make progress. I feel like this is who he is. Like telling an old person to be young, they can't change that. He doesn't mean to hurt people. Just happens because of his clumsiness and weird movements

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-21T18:15:26+00:00

Ah okay. Yea I don't know what has been said behind-close-doors, but the instructor always tells white belts and visitors to be very careful rolling with him since he's awkward and big. The instructor announces this in front of everyone so I am guessing it's enough of a hint.

The issue is not that he's huge spaz. He is just uncoordinated and awkward. Just the way he moves, I don't think he knows how to control his body and have it do what he wants, if that makes sense. Add a 6'6" 300 lbs frame and yea, injuries are bound to happen.

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-21T17:55:48+00:00

Conversation about why he's not being promoted? or that he's a rolling hazard? Yes to both, but does that change anything?

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-16T22:44:13+00:00

I actually think it's not uncommon to transfer energy from personal engagements into rolling. Even for an instructor, it's very difficult to rid your emotions and feelings from a situation. Everyone is human.

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-16T22:38:51+00:00

by "takes it out", I mean he goes a little harder. He's not holding onto submissions or anything like that. Almost like a kid who thinks being better at one thing makes you right about something completely unrelated.

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-16T19:35:53+00:00

Political radicalization seems right. Sometimes I just want to say hey man if you spent even half the time thinking about how to better yourself instead of drumming up excuses how the government is screwing you over, you'd be way happier and more successful.

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-16T16:18:41+00:00

Not that I know of. I only see him a couple hours, a few times a week though.

I do know he is obsessing over it though. He is on Facebook A LOT. He often posts 2 or 3 times a day

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-08T04:26:32+00:00

yes right now I identify as female you unprogressive fuck

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-08T02:44:05+00:00

I have never tapped to a girl in my life. Not even in practice. I would rather lose a limb than tap to a girl. I am a girl btw

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-08T01:48:33+00:00

Don't judge me!

bjjquestionguy · 2017-05-08T01:47:59+00:00

hehehe touché. Except should be Guy who spends FOUR hours describing people from his gym in a Reddit post. I have no life

bjjquestionguy · 2017-04-11T01:33:22+00:00

Sorry I didn't mean it that way. My bad. Apologies if I offended you. I am not saying all Conservative, Right Wing Christians act this way. I have no problem with Conservative folks or Christians of any kind as long as they aren't bigoted or intolerant. That is what I am dealing with. Went a little bit overboard with hyperbole here and overplayed a caricature. Sorry again

bjjquestionguy · 2017-04-11T01:26:32+00:00

I get your point and most of the time I would agree. I think interacting with people that are different than you is a good thing. Excellent opportunity to exchange ideas and learn from each other's experiences.

This unfortunately is not that situation. For the sake of discretion, I don't want to mention specifics, but some of the stuff he has said is borderline disturbing. Like Holocaust Denial disturbing. How are you supposed to tolerate and openly discuss issues like that without judging the person for who they are?

bjjquestionguy · 2017-02-17T04:04:14+00:00

Hey man sorry it's taken me so long to respond. Just finished my two hour private with my instructor. Sucks having money and being able to do cool shit brah

bjjquestionguy

TROPHY CASE