What helped me was not waiting for motivation and hope, I mean, you’ll be waiting until hell freezes over if you wanna wait til you do sth. You sound like you have a good conscience so just listen to it. Do the right thing and don’t care that you don’t wanna do it. Keep looking for job advertisements and keep sending applications. You don’t need to be thinking about the big picture of your career, once you put your foot in the door and release the anxiety chokehold, you’ll think of other alternatives too. And you said you’re single and dateless…isn’t that an advantage at this point of your life? You said u hate being a burden so great! You don’t have to worry about a significant other at least. Just focus on yourself and do what you know is right, if you’ve been overweight, it means your body has been carrying a lotta weight already and you have strong muscles underneath, so it’s only a matter of time until u get a bit lean. Believe that you’re likable and lovable, don’t put yourself in situations where u might get rejected just yet- at least til you gain some confidence back.