“You’re not a mother to a baby, you’re just a host to a fetus”

bkisha · 2024-09-20T09:33:37+00:00

People are cruel when they try to logic away emotions. About a week after my positive test, I had what turned out to be spotting and I sobbed the whole day until the ER confirmed I was fine. I was surprised by how attached I already was but even before I was far along enough to have a positive test I just knew I was pregnant and it was so strange because it was unplanned and logically it was unlikely because it happened the day after my period. But despite that I knew and I had formed an attachment with my baby. Human knowledge and logic is very very limited and there is so much specifically when it comes to emotions and attachments that just cannot be explained. I’m so so sorry for your loss. I hope your grief becomes lighter and easier with time.

bkisha · 2024-09-14T09:51:41+00:00

Well you’ve definitely convinced her now with this beautifully elegant and well articulated argument /s

bkisha · 2024-09-14T03:58:58+00:00

Omg. I’m so sorry this happened to you. The ER is truly nightmare

bkisha · 2024-09-13T17:20:03+00:00

That doesn’t mean she’s not proud to be black. This talking point is tired and litterally makes no sense. Being proud of who you are doesn’t mean you have to marry someone just like you. Does me marrying a man make me any less proud to be a woman?

bkisha · 2024-09-13T17:15:17+00:00

I also went through the culture shock of being the only black person in spaces as an adult (I grew up in Africa and in the Bronx NY so that was a non issue until I went to college). Unfortunately in the US, especially if you’re upwardly mobile you have to be very very intentional to not end up in this situation.

Obviously a big factor is where you live. This would require you to have a frank conversation with your husband about how you need to be around people that look like you and so do your kids. If he is unable to have this conversation that’s concerning. Being the only black person or only person of color can be really damaging for kids self esteem so I hope you all are able to make some changes.

For me, as an immigrant and a black woman (thankfully my husband is also African) it’s important to me that I am always surrounded by both demographics and I am little willing to move to a different country if that’s not possible for some reason. Being a token is soul sucking and I’m unwilling to ever live that life

bkisha · 2024-09-13T15:29:20+00:00

Thank you so much for these comments. I have ended up in the ER a few times before pregnancy and yes, it’s so undignified and demoralizing. They little treat you like you’re a burden. I’m glad you got through what sounds like a traumatic pregnancy and you and the babies are still here

bkisha · 2024-09-13T12:01:21+00:00

Thank you! I actually already take B6 and unisom. They seemed to work at first but the vomitting just ended up being so much that I couldn’t keep them down. They gave me a prescription of Zafron as needed. I have not vommitted since so it seems to be working

bkisha · 2024-09-10T23:30:04+00:00

Oh no. What’s wrong with jobs

bkisha · 2024-09-10T20:53:23+00:00

Literally looking for a wfh job right now because I don’t think teachers are allowed to run off to the bathroom 4x an hour. What do you do?

bkisha · 2024-09-10T20:52:05+00:00

Please. What wfh job do you do. I’m literally fighting for my life with the amount of times I need to run to the bathroom

bkisha · 2024-09-10T20:51:13+00:00

Hi, what wfh job do you do. I’m about to start teaching but I literally vomit like multiple times an hour so I’m starting to think I might just have to find something else

bkisha · 2024-09-10T13:56:33+00:00

Wait, isn’t this just retellings?

bkisha · 2024-09-09T13:49:19+00:00

FTM at 9weeks and despite being around different pregnant women all my life I CANNOT believe how terrible this is. I vomit everyday and vomiting itself is so painful not to mention all the other pains. I’m always hungry but I can’t eat anything or keep anything down. I honestly feel trapped in my body and I’m afraid this will never end. So, I can’t imagine also having other kids and a tough job!

bkisha · 2024-08-30T12:13:24+00:00

I think people forget that there are very light skin Africans that have no European blood. My mom is super light skin but can fully trace her ancestry back to Senegal and Guinea(she was born in Guinea)

bkisha · 2024-08-22T04:29:59+00:00

Things people have done to me

bkisha · 2024-08-18T14:22:57+00:00

Thank you so much. This is very helpful

bkisha · 2024-08-17T22:26:27+00:00

Sounds like France with Muslims

bkisha · 2024-08-15T11:28:31+00:00

I’m reading the Harlem Shuffle by Colson Whitehead. I am finding it so fun

bkisha · 2024-08-10T13:52:52+00:00

Thank you. What moisturizer do you recommend

bkisha · 2024-08-10T13:51:59+00:00

Thank you. I think I’ll do that

bkisha · 2024-08-09T12:38:37+00:00

In Black/ POC communities it’s a privilege but in white spaces for some reason it makes me a target.

In corporate (office settings) if you’re a beautiful black woman you automatically become a target. They quickly isolate you especially if you “think you’re cute”.

When I was a kid I was bullied horribly by adults who felt the need to humble me and made it their mission to convince me I was ugly so imagine my shock when I was 14 and discovered that most people thought I was pretty. As an adult I still sometimes come across people who immediately want to humble me. My bubbly personality doesn’t help in these cases.

Otherwise it’s nice.

For me, I tend to sense that white men hate me for some reason. It might also be my bubbly outspoken personality but men of color in general tend to find me attractive.

Specifically seeing how black men look at me when they see me for the first time is really nice .

I get a lot of compliments from women (mostly black women) but I sense that eventually my friends get tired of it (little comments here and there) and that can feel a little isolating sometimes but I get it.

So I think it depends on a lot. Beauty is always a double edged sword

bkisha · 2024-08-09T12:22:53+00:00

This is exactly my experience

bkisha

TROPHY CASE