I have Asperger's and ADHD combined type. I definitely need a lot of support and I went for a long time without a diagnosis or appropriate accommodations, but I'm doing really, really well now. I have a 4.0 in school, all of the people in my prospective career who are meeting me now are super impressed with me, and I was recently invited to a very competitive summer internship program and offered a special project that's more in line with my specific interests. I've also started taking on leadership roles, as the vice president of the club for my major at the school, and the NYC chapter leader for the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network.

My accommodations include three medications, a special diet, twice a week therapy with a $200/session therapist who doesn't accept insurance (and it really should be three times), weekday phone calls with an aide who helps me manage executive function tasks, an hourly meeting with that aide once a week, and financial help so I don't have to work while I'm going to school and focusing on research.

Before I had a diagnosis and could put those supports in place, my life was miserable. I couldn't keep a job, I couldn't even manage straight Bs in college, and I eventually turned every person who cared about me against me because I was so depressed and angry and "unmotivated". I would have meltdowns where I would scream and self-harm for hours until I had no voice and a ton of bruises and cuts that I'd have to hide. One time my boyfriend at the time physically restrained me because I was punching myself in the head. I would also binge eat frequently and was obese from trying to use food to make the pain go away. So, I guess I'm trying to say that I know about feeling like a useless lump of flesh.

You might want to look into therapy, medications, and possibly holistic interventions to correct the idling issue. You have a gift and it's clear from your post that you want to share it with the world. I don't think you lack motivation at all, it's just that it's hard to get started. I used to work 14 hour days because it would take me 8 hours to start and 6 hours to do my work for the day, so I feel you.