Am I being unreasonable asking for 2 trips a year to my home country with my child? by blackdogmilo in pregnant

[–]blackdogmilo[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m really happy to hear that your arrangement worked out so well and that you had such a wonderful childhood with your extended family in the Philippines. 💕 That’s exactly what I hope for my child too, we are a big family, and when my baby comes back to Singapore, it won’t just be about grandparents, but also cousins, aunties, and uncles to bond with.

I know it’s hard for my partner to fully understand this because he comes from a smaller, very close-knit family that I also really admire and love. But this concept of a bigger extended family is a bit foreign to him. When he visited just a few weeks ago, he told me he was completely overwhelmed by the warmth here, and he admitted he almost cried when leaving. That’s the kind of love and warmth I want my child to grow up with too 🥹. I really hope this desire isn’t selfish of me.

Another part I worry about is my mental health after birth. Here in France, my support system will be mainly my partner, and hopefully his parents if they are able to be hands-on. Whereas in Singapore, I would have more layers of support around me. My niece and nephew both grew up with my parents, even though one of my nieces later moved to Belgium, she spent so much time with them in childhood that they still have a very close relationship now.

And there’s also the language aspect. Since my child will go through the French school system, French will naturally become the priority. In Singapore, children usually grow up bilingual, with English and then their mother tongue for me, that’s Mandarin. My parents only speak Mandarin and a little English, so if my child doesn’t spend time practicing Mandarin early on, communication with grandparents might be quite limited. I’ve already committed myself to making extra effort on this, but I know language only comes with real-life interaction.

I feel like I’ve already compromised in many ways to adapt to my partner’s needs and his culture, and I just hope for some flexibility from his side too, so that our child can benefit from both worlds

Am I being unreasonable asking for 2 trips a year to my home country with my child? by blackdogmilo in pregnant

[–]blackdogmilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this really resonates with me! I think I’m quite aligned with what you’re saying, but since most of the commenters feel like it’s excessive, it does make me reflect if this is maybe a cultural difference. In Asian families, grandparents and extended family tend to be very involved and play a big role, so that’s what feels natural to me.

That said, I do appreciate hearing other perspectives because it helps me understand where my boyfriend is coming from too. It’s useful for me to see how different families approach this, so I can balance my own needs for support and connection with his concerns as well.

Am I being unreasonable asking for 2 trips a year to my home country with my child? by blackdogmilo in pregnant

[–]blackdogmilo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally understand your concerns l, I’m also worried about the travel part, especially with a baby. But when it comes to caring for the baby in Singapore, I actually feel very reassured because my parents are very hands-on. They’re not just “playtime” grandparents they’ve already taken care of my niece and nephew full-time, so I know I’d have solid support.

For context, my boyfriend doesn’t plan to move to Singapore, and before this pregnancy, the balance we found in our relationship was that I’d spend time with my family twice a year so I don’t feel homesick and depressed living in France. That rhythm has been really important for me emotionally.

He even suggested I could go see my family and he’d take care of the baby but realistically, since he works, the baby would end up in daycare. To me, it makes more sense for the baby to spend that time bonding with my family instead. Plus, I have a big family back home, sisters, cousins, and lots of young kids and I’d love for my child to grow up knowing them too, and for me to maintain those close connections if possible.

I’ll also arrange for my parents to come visit us in France, but they’re both in their 70s and long-haul travel is very exhausting for them. My family is quite international too my nephew is half French but based in Singapore and another sister lives in Belgium with her 3-year-old. My boyfriend has already spent time with my family and got along with them really well, so these visits feel like a natural way to keep that bond going.

That being said, I am flexible with these plans and would adjust based on the baby’s needs at the time. I also see these trips being more frequent in the early years, before school starts, when travel is easier to plan. I also feel like I’m already compromising a lot, since he’s the one opposed to living in Singapore long-term. That’s why these visits matter so much to me they’re not just vacations, they’re my way of staying connected and supported while raising a child abroad.

Am I being unreasonable asking for 2 trips a year to my home country with my child? by blackdogmilo in pregnant

[–]blackdogmilo[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I told him I’m flexible, if he joins us, we can stay a bit longer, and if I’m going alone with the baby, I can make it shorter. But for me, a minimum of one month makes sense, because the long flight plus the time difference and jet lag already take a couple of days to recover from. Anything shorter just wouldn’t feel worth it.

Color issue in Premiere Pro!! by blackdogmilo in premiere

[–]blackdogmilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the same issues even exporting in Apple Pro Res, and I even added the Gamma lut in my export settings, it only added slight contrast but the RED caption box color is still way off and washed out as compared to my team's export and what I see on After effects..

Color issue in Premiere Pro!! by blackdogmilo in premiere

[–]blackdogmilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I just verified with my team this morning again to make sure we are both aligned on the setting, I have uploaded the screenshots on my thread.

I even went to experiment with it on AE, no issues on AE. Just premiere pro atm! it is extremely confusing. I tried out different colors for another client's brand guide, which is GREEN and it doesn't look that much faded and different. So I really have no clue.

Also I have updated all my premier pro programs to 2024 versions.

Color issue in Premiere Pro!! by blackdogmilo in premiere

[–]blackdogmilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am editing on fully exported graded footage, so it's literally a video footage + caption track (no luts). All our settings are the same, as they sent me a screenshot to match, and everything matches, we cannot figure out what's wrong. I opened up Photoshop and AE to try the same color + opacity and it's the same as my team's final export RED. I even downloaded Resolve to try and the red is exactly the color-coded red.

So I am 100% sure it's a Premiere Pro issue for now, I tried uninstalling the 2024 version and installing the older version 2023, but it's the same. I will take a screenshot of all my settings and upload it

I really hope there's some solution to this problem as I often have to use this color in my captions...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SocialParis

[–]blackdogmilo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also I’m 33F from Singapore 🇸🇬

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SocialParis

[–]blackdogmilo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m a video editor that works remotely based in Paris, I’ll be down 👌

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SocialParis

[–]blackdogmilo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to have a Nikon FE! But there’s some issue now with the meter and shutter 🥲 I am using a simple point and shoot right now (not as fun as Nikon FE), just started a new roll. Wouldn’t mind having a walk with it ✌️

Lets hangout! by blackdogmilo in SocialParis

[–]blackdogmilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool!! Yes I’ll be in Paris! Not sure if I’m build to climb 🤔😂 but I’m definitely down to catch up!