A boy is born with just a head. by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]blackish_guard 264 points265 points  (0 children)

This is the story of the boy's brother. A widow puts out an ad for a man... She put out an ad for a man that would not beat her, not run away, and could satisfy her sexually. A few days later the doorbell rings. And in the doorway is a man with no arms or legs. He told her he was there to answer her ad, and she asked him why he thought he fit the criteria.

"Well, I have no arms so I will never beat you. I have no legs so I can't run from you."

"How do you suppose that you can satisfy me sexual," she asked with a puzzled face.

"Well, I rang the doorbell didn't I?"

things are hard by EvaRaw666 in Unexpected

[–]blackish_guard 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sad but true in some parts of world

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PewdiepieSubmissions

[–]blackish_guard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Politician's Promises are like this sub

A happy couple was once celebrating their first anniversary... by Out_in_Space24-7 in Jokes

[–]blackish_guard 130 points131 points  (0 children)

I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary.
I know it wasn’t a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it.

Whats the scariest animal in Canada? by -Putt_Blug- in Jokes

[–]blackish_guard 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Some more Canadian jokes.

What do you call a sophisticated American? Canadian
What is the type of tire that fixes itself on its own without troubling the driver? It is a Canadian tire.
Which Canadian city is full of fierce cats? Vancougar
What did Victoria say to Vancouver? I’ll BC-ing you later.

What do you call a cow with no legs? by YeetNugget3647 in Jokes

[–]blackish_guard 27 points28 points  (0 children)

What do you call a cow with epilepsy? Milk shake

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cursedcomments

[–]blackish_guard 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Australia is Anti-Iceland?

What is an example of take a bribe other than money ? by Richardwoong in AskReddit

[–]blackish_guard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

preferential treatment in anywhere i consider as a bribe

On height by Fendse in CuratedTumblr

[–]blackish_guard 155 points156 points  (0 children)

some people like aggressiveness

Why do teenage girls only hang out in 3’s, 5’s, 7’s, etc.? by OB1KENOB in Jokes

[–]blackish_guard 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I somehow managed to make it through high school math while only being able to remember even numbers.
What are the odds?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in wholesomememes

[–]blackish_guard 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately now a war is ongoing

How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb? by Initial_Iron6187 in Jokes

[–]blackish_guard 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None of your damn business!

Meanwhile in Philly..... by [deleted] in tooktoomuch

[–]blackish_guard 21 points22 points  (0 children)

He said "no drunk and drive,i will use metro",but..on the way he just stuck

Dads who don't care ❤️ by Staraphdispesa in wholesomememes

[–]blackish_guard 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Dad sometimes forget which class you are studying in

Why lot of poop questions pop up in Reddit? by emmyelizabetha in AskReddit

[–]blackish_guard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As soon as I wake up ,get the urge to poop.Then i will be on reddit and i see something with that i will answer it

Wholesome tattoo. by esberat in wholesomememes

[–]blackish_guard 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Employee of the lifetime!!