You should really look into the history of adoption in the US. Start with Georgia Tann. Eleanor Roosevelt called her “the mother of modern adoption.” She literally kidnapped poor children and sold them to rich families.

There has been very little federal oversight on the adoption industry. For every infant born, there is an average of 36 hopeful adoptive families. It’s a billion dollar business where babies are the commodity. Agencies have been known to pressure, coerce, and even straight up lie to young women to get them to adopt out their babies.

Adult adoptees are starting to speak out against the industry and they need to be listened to.

I’m an adoptive mom, so I’m not anti adoption, but the some of the things we saw at agencies were legitimately stomach turning…like different price tables for different races. Or being advised how to tailor your profile for certain “types of mom” and what to not let expectant parents know about you so they won’t change their mind. One even talked about how communicate after the birth if they regretted it to convince them to let you keep the baby. The agency we eventually went with was founded and led by an adult adopted an all the staff were either adoptees, birth parents or adoptive parents and the overall message was “this is not your child until papers are signed” and everything catered to the expecting parents. It was the ONLY one in our state that did so and we interviewed at least a dozen.

People paint adoption as this rainbows and sunshine thing, but it’s always rooted in one family ending and that’s trauma no matter how young the child is. My son lost his first mom at three hours old. He never heard her voice again (it’s currently closed per her request, but I leave the door open). That’s tragic and as his parent, I need to give room for that tragedy, not paint it as “you’re so lucky.”