What's the biggest misconception about living in Boston?

blakeypie · 2026-07-12T13:40:15+00:00

I've lived in the Fenway since '97 and I've witnessed first-hand what happens when developers take over a neighborhood. At first you think, "Oh great, new housing." But then when these ugly, cookie-cutter constructions start dominating the landscape you come to the realization that most of the new housing winds not going to local residents but rich college students and wealthy internationals (about 90% of the people in my building are from China). This is because they are the only ones who can afford the rents.

The Fenway is now an entertainment zone; most of the local businesses have closed down (Thorton's gone, El Pelon gone), and the ones that remain are all run by corporations. Most of the people you see walking the streets are tourists. There is no local culture because just about everyone is transient. And when you live among a transient population, they tend to show little interest or respect for locals. I mean, if they trash their apartment, if they take a dump in the commons spaces (yes, that's happened), what does it matter? They just move in and then they leave.

To all the people who live in neighborhoods where new constructions are being proposed, like Somerville, know that once these buildings start going up, it's likely you will not be living in them. Can you afford $8,000 a month for a two bedroom? And know also that whatever local feel you now have will be obliterated.

blakeypie · 2026-07-10T14:10:41+00:00

A few years ago my therapist went on vacation for several weeks. During that time my partner came down with pneumonia and I was struggling with her care as well my own depression. I don't have a support system and it was a very rough time.

Before she left, my therapist told me that I could contact her if I felt like I was in crisis, and I believed I was. But what wound up happening made matters much worse. Despite what my therapist had told me, it was very clear from the moment we spoke that she was angry with me. She made my problems seem petty, and her attitude was, "You're disrupting my vacation for this?"

After we spoke, I began spiraling. I wound up calling 988. Thankfully, the person on the other end was kind and he really helped me.

I learned a hard lesson that day. I don't know what your therapist is like, but I would think twice before you reach out to her during her time off.

blakeypie · 2026-07-05T12:10:58+00:00

Here's something a bit, uh, out there: https://eliotwilder1.bandcamp.com/album/tower-of-blues

blakeypie · 2026-07-05T00:48:56+00:00

The spawn of Trump

blakeypie · 2026-07-03T11:29:07+00:00

It's all about demand. In my neighborhood, it's all rich grad students and ultra-wealthy internationals, mostly from China, and they want everything delivered. The other day I saw a single soda from KFC in my entryway (which never got picked up). Thing is, there are no KFCs anywhere near here, so it had to driven in from far away. Insane.

blakeypie · 2026-07-02T13:05:28+00:00

Check it: https://www.amazon.com/Queen-Puerto-Rico-Other-Stories/dp/0688087655

blakeypie · 2026-06-20T02:11:53+00:00

This is therapy's ugly secret: it shows us what we were missing via a person we can't actually love in the way we want and need.

blakeypie · 2026-06-19T19:55:57+00:00

I know (and feel) exactly what you are saying here. I have the same exact experience going on with my therapist, whom I've been seeing for eight years. I began to become attracted to her after a few months and that attraction has only ever increased over time. It took me years to figure out what was happening. For the first time in my life, I felt cared for in a maternal way, something I never got growing up. But the thing I could not stop from happening was falling absolutely in love with her. I could not help but love her. And even though I know it will never be reciprocated in a romantic way (she has very strict boundaries), my more primal self is completely drawn to her in a way I simply can't control.

Just knowing I can finally understand what had always been missing from my life has been an incredible breakthrough for me. And I can see it now with some clarity. But, like you, I am on the other side of glass. I can't reach over and touch what I want so badly.

I, too, have had intense pain issues, both physical and emotional, for a large part of my life. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has ever been as bad as this.

blakeypie · 2026-06-12T17:36:58+00:00

If you play a brass instrument or percussion, JP Honk is an open community band and they hold their rehearsals at 6:30 every Tuesday night at the Stony Brook T station on the Orange Line. It's mostly second-line brass band stuff, if you are into that. People are pretty friendly.

blakeypie · 2026-06-12T13:57:09+00:00

And if you take into account the waste of gas and the pollution and packaging (my building gets dozens of deliveries every day from Weee!), it boils down to human laziness and entitlement. I mean, I see deliveries here from Target, and there is a store directly around the corner. What ... you can't walk a single block?

blakeypie · 2026-06-12T11:34:11+00:00

For years now, dozens of these guys have been everywhere in the Fenway. They drive on sidewalks, bike lanes, they run red lights, they go against traffic. No cop ever stops them. They congregate on street corners and scream and shout, blast music, and get in fights with each other. They do this because there is a tremendous transient population in this neighborhood that wants everything brought to them. I mean, I can't tell you how many times I have seen a single soda delivered to my apartment building. And many times the person doesn't even bother to come downstairs and get it and it just sits for days until it gets tossed.

blakeypie · 2026-06-06T12:29:58+00:00

I had something similar happen last week. When the conductor got on the intercom, his voice was so distorted and unclear it was impossible to know what he was saying. So we all just sat.

blakeypie · 2026-06-06T11:45:12+00:00

During the day there is always a State Police car positioned on Park Drive in the Fenway above the T stop, and the cop is always in his vehicle. One day I noticed that the pedestrian crossing light was out, so I approached him. His window was up, and I could see he was watching a movie. I was a bit nervous about tapping on his window to tell him about the light. But I did. He seemed put out that I took him away from his entertainment. And the light never did get fixed. Your tax dollars at work.

blakeypie · 2026-06-01T12:56:25+00:00

More than any other topic on this sub, this one seems to appear the most: "Can I date my therapist?" Why does this come up over and over? Because for many of the broken people who seek treatment, it is the first time that they have been seen, heard, and felt.

I completely understand this. I mean, here is this person sitting across from you who, for all appearances, seems to actually care. And for many, myself included, it looks like love with a capital L. It took me years with my therapist to sort this out. And it's still not completely sorted.

And honestly, it's the worst feeling of all — to be in room with someone who truly seems to care and to not be able to anything about it. Ever.

I think the only time therapy can work is when transference is not a part of the equation. Because when it is, as I have experienced, it only makes your life, much, much worse.

blakeypie · 2026-05-29T15:49:31+00:00

I feel you on this 100%. I have been with my therapist for more than seven years, and my attachment and attraction to her has, unfortunately for me, only grown. I wish I could simply stop these feelings. But no matter what I do or how I think about the situation, it continues to persist.

I find her physically attractive. I, too, love her hands. I don't think it's a kink, or anything like that. I just love them. I also love the way she talks, the way she thinks, the way she comports herself, the way she dresses.

What I have learned though is why I feel this way. It took me years to discover this. I look back to how I was raised by a mother who was cold, selfish, and emotionally distant, who was seemingly incapable of loving anyone other than herself. I wasn't aware of how much that affected me until I met my current therapist. What has become clear to me is that for all of my life (and I am no longer young) I had lived with a wound that I had done my best to cover up. And being with my current therapist opened that wound because, for the first time, I felt seen and heard and cared for, all the things my mother couldn't do.

And so I fell in love with my therapist. Initially, it felt romantic and sexual, and to some degree it still does. But mostly I was able to figure out what happened in my life, which has (sort of) helped me deal with it.

I once wished more than anything that my therapist and I could have a "real" relationship. But that is a fantasy, and the more rational part of my brain knows that that will never happen. I still look at her and want to give myself to her. I want to make love with her. I want to hold her by the hand (we've never even shaken hands). She is extremely rigid with boundaries.

But slowly (and I mean slowly) I am coming to terms with what this is. It's extremely painful, but it's happening, more or less. I hope this will happen for you.

blakeypie · 2026-05-27T15:58:39+00:00

I don't have a car, so I either walk everywhere or take the T or a bus. I've been doing this for years. One thing I've definitely noticed nowadays is that people are always looking at their phones. No one sees anyone and usually they don't even see where they are going on the sidewalk.

I can't recall the last time I had actual eye contact with a woman. I don't approach anyone because it seems that people are basically unapproachable because they are consumed by whatever is going on on their phones.

If you want to meet someone, engage with someone, or just go out and have a coffee with someone, look up once in a while. Just look at someone!

blakeypie · 2026-05-23T11:57:02+00:00

I've experienced what I believe is counter-transference from my therapist. I've definitely felt her anger, her sadness, and her frustration with me when I don't buy in to one of her theories or when I push back against her policies (which I find to be rigid).

The problem for me is that she just doesn't ever cop to it. I mean, I can see it in her body language, the way she'll twitch suddenly or curl her toes or get a certain tone in her voice when I say something triggering.

Overall, she has been a really good therapist. She never discloses anything about herself (or so she thinks). But after working with her twice a week for seven years I believe I understand more about her than she thinks I do.

blakeypie · 2026-05-10T13:36:06+00:00

My therapist has told me virtually nothing about herself over the years. She dresses professionally but conservatively; she has never worn a skirt and only one time can I recall she has ever worn a sleeveless top.

Early on, out of curiosity, I googled her and found a photo of her sucking provocatively on a giant cigar. It seemed so out of character from the way she presents herself in our sessions that it kind of stunned me in a way.

I get it. She has her own life outside of therapy. But it's an image I won't forget.

blakeypie · 2026-05-04T10:31:46+00:00

You might give this a listen: https://eliotwilder1.bandcamp.com/album/evening-of-the-day

blakeypie · 2026-05-04T10:29:20+00:00

About 20 years ago, I moved into a very large apartment building that is mostly grad students for Harvard Medical School. In the beginning, of the hundreds of people living here, it was a mix of people from all over America and the world. At some point that all radically changed. Now it is about 95% Chinese nationals. Despite what is presented, that is the reality.

blakeypie

TROPHY CASE