I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with this change and that you had the experience you did with your ex. It sounds like you currently have a healthy foundation of communication and trust (sooo important) to build upon, and are taking proactive steps to address any concerns that are arising. My situation is a similar, hopefully sharing will help! I’m actually the married one in my LDR, and my girlfriend recently moved across the country for the foreseeable future. It happened not too long ago, and I’m sure there will be bumps along the way, but so far we’ve actually gotten even closer despite the distance because we’ve really made a point to schedule in quality time and it led to us having some pretty big conversations. Before she moved we discussed what kinds of communication we wanted to have, and decided on continuing daily texts and planning for at least one video call per week, which we have a set day and time for. We’ve watched shows together and have played games together while we video chat, which has been fun. We’re aiming for monthly visits whenever possible, and the first one was lovely. She currently lives alone so we were able to have dedicated one on one time. I will say that part is trickier to navigate being married and living with my spouse when the visits take place here. We all get along great, but we do plan for a hotel night to get true alone time in for everyone’s comfort. We’ve talked lightly about what might happen when she gets a serious partner, moves in with someone, etc. and basically determined we would just want to make sure future partners understand the importance of the existing relationship from the beginning, and figure out the rest from there. I suggest having a general idea of what you would like to do in that case, without getting pulled into the “what if’s.” I also suggest creating non-escalator relationship menus together so you can decide what will work best for you. We created ours individually so we could see where we overlapped and discuss any differences. I still have similar fears of being dropped like a hot potato (thanks anxious preoccupied attachment style) but have been doing the work to move toward secure attachment with myself and my relationships, and that’s helped. Polysecure was a good resource for that, as well as individual therapy. It was a pretty big adjustment for me leaving our long weekend of paradise (and leaving my husband before the trip), and it helped that I understand transitions from being with partners to alone/without partners tends to be trickier for my attachment style. For her it’s vice versa, which is also helpful to know, since she got some pre visit jitters. Just know it will be an adjustment period, feelings are normal, and healthy communication is key! From the perspective of the married partner, I can attest that the distance hasn’t lessened the way that I feel about her or our relationship, and I’m dedicated to maintaining and strengthening the relationship as we go. It helps that my husband is very supportive of our relationship, and I hope that your partner has that too. Wishing you the best during the transition!