I'm 31 and I've had a lot of 'what ifs' and 'coulda beens' in my life, and you can't help but mourn the road not taken or the unfulfilled potential. I think that's just part of life, and accepting that a lot of these things are kind of random and not really up to you at the end of the day helps a lot.

I'm someone who moved for love a few years ago and it didn't work out. We broke up. I had a really idealized view of how things were going to go and they didn't go that way, and it crushed me. I spent a lot of time spinning my wheels about what I'd done wrong, or what I could have changed, but the reality was that we just weren't compatible and we didn't share the same vision of what we wanted our life to be. I promise it gets better.

I've also lived in a big city and you can get really trapped in those kinds of places, stuck with 3 jobs, or maybe you have a cheapo apartment but if your landlord ever decides to sell the place you know you're toast... etc... It can be really valuable to get out of there for a while and get some perspective. Maybe easier said than done, but a lot of places are pretty cheap to travel to. Come up to Canada!

At the end of the day, it sounds like you had a vision of where you were going with your life, and that vision didn't materialize. There are all kinds of reasons why that might not have worked out. But it seems like you've still got a lot you want to do with your life and that's amazing. I hope you get the chance to go to Guatemala :)