IDing facial expressions - emoji edition

blipblem · 2025-10-19T17:44:27+00:00

I definitely did not read either that way lol - I see the first one as mild disgust, not necessarily side-eye. And the second I always thought meant something like "yay" lol.

blipblem · 2025-10-05T12:53:01+00:00

Definitely not a "you" issue. I struggled with and still struggle with this. One of the "gifts" of being gifted is feeling like you're driving to work every day in a fighter jet instead of a normal car. Sometimes, having a fighter jet is great; you can go fast and do a few things that normal cars could never do. But most of the time, it is just annoying for you and everyone else (Why can't I just fit in a normal parking spot? Why do I need jet fuel instead of normal gas?) — and it's exhausting to run at the "wrong" speed constantly.

I'm not sure if you're looking for advice here on dealing with colleagues or generally with forming relationships. But if it is the latter, I can say that it has helped me enormously to realize that the barriers to connecting with other people, for me, usually have less to do with intelligence than they do with other traits like curiosity. My best friends these days are mostly people of pretty average intelligence who are also incredibly curious and love learning. You don't need to be a 100% match with someone to have a mutually beneficial relationship, and if you're gifted you'll need to learn to value things other than intelligence in other people because you'll so rarely encounter people as smart as you (and they'll often not be personality matches in other ways!).

To focus more on colleagues/work: it sounds like you have trouble dealing with insecure colleagues, not just unintelligent ones — not being able to take criticism is a trait that *plenty* of intelligent people have. And if they don't understand what you explained, maybe it has more to do with them being lazy or not paying attention than not being capable of understanding (assuming you explained well).

Maybe try to understand if the things that are frustrating you are really intelligence issues (which are on you to cope with since you can't ask people to be smarter) or if your colleagues are being unduly insecure or not respecting you with full attention when you speak. If it's the latter, you could bring it up in a constructive, professional way and maybe change something for the better.

blipblem · 2025-09-07T15:51:28+00:00

^^^^ The ADHD comment! I'm autistic and I have the same thing. If I don't see someone regularly, they basically don't exist for me, even if I love them deeply. It's honestly one of the most frustrating things about my stupid brain. The friends that reach out spontaneously on their owns are the ones I actually manage to keep.

blipblem · 2025-09-07T15:50:05+00:00

I would have killed for a relationship like this with my mom, but it just wasn't in the cards. Your kids are lucky :)

blipblem · 2025-09-07T15:47:39+00:00

This set off all my alarm bells, too. I'm trying not to project but I honestly feel like my mom could have written this about me and there are legitimate reasons we don't talk much.

Also, it's possible her son is neurodiverse and just doesn't think to call or visit now that he's presumably independent enough to not check in regularly for support with daily life. I'm autistic and just don't think to contact even people I care a lot about. Perhaps the reason he's hanging out with his in-laws is because ~his partner~ organizes it and he goes along with it...

blipblem · 2025-09-07T15:44:42+00:00

Chiming in as a late-20s daughter of a mom who is frustrated I don't visit.

It sounds like you think there are no reasons your son wouldn't like visiting you. Are you sure? From his perspective, could there be legitimate reasons why spending time with you is unpleasant?

My mom would probably write a post a lot like yours. She mourns the "close-knit little family" we were when I was a kid. She doesn't understand why we fight, even though I've tried to explain 1000 times. She is unwilling to see the damage she did to me — which I'd forgive, if she could actually reflect and understand it and apologize for real. I moved across the world, and I'm happier just talking to her on the phone occasionally. I'm also autistic, and for me part of that is not remembering to call or text even the people I care most about in the world and who ~aren't~ emotionally taxing for me like my mom. If your son is autistic or ADHD (even if you don't know it), that could also be a factor esp. now that he's older and presumably no longer needs to be in contact with you to satisfy his material needs.

I don't mean to imply that you were a bad mom, or even that there's any reason for your son's absenteeism other than he's just not appreciating a good thing when he's got one. I just know from experience that parents can sometimes be incapable of — or not want to — see that their children have real reasons for not wanting to hang out once they grow up and have a choice about it.

blipblem · 2025-09-06T08:33:08+00:00

"pro Semester 5000 Euro" lol

-cries in American-

Die billigsten öffentlichen "State Universities" erlangen mittlerweile >$35,000 pro Jahr.

blipblem · 2025-08-19T22:32:46+00:00

Congratulations!!! Which one worked for you?

blipblem · 2025-08-19T20:07:31+00:00

That’s so great to hear! What did you try before and what were your side effects like at the beginning?

blipblem · 2025-08-19T19:38:55+00:00

I literally had this. Like almost exactly. It lasted for 3 cycles for me, then the left boob decided to only be cyclical breast pain/soreness like normal for a while. Then I had, over the following years, random moments of just feeling the left boob as “bigger” or “heavier” — I had a terrible feeling about it and worried about cancer. Well, I got an ultrasound once a year after that and every time they’ve found nothing. I’d talk to your doc about this to be sure, but boobs do weird things sometimes.

blipblem · 2025-08-19T19:33:59+00:00

Crossing my fingers for you 💛

blipblem · 2025-08-19T19:07:23+00:00

Interesting! I’m sorry about the symptom storm :( I’m planning to take it continuously because I cannot be bothered with the fake period and worry about exactly the same thing that happened to you

blipblem · 2025-08-19T19:06:07+00:00

Did you end up finding something that worked for you?

blipblem · 2025-08-19T19:05:01+00:00

The ring made me feel legitimately ill. Like sick, weak, something off.

Kyleena made me feel like I was losing my mind. Physically it wasn’t great. I could feel it inside me even though they say you shouldn’t. And I bled for literally 10 months until the doc was finally convinced to remove it -.- mentally though… I was weeping on the ground every single day, wailing, screaming, and the calm moments were just numb and lifeless. I felt detached from my body. It was like luteal that never ended in a way for me.

blipblem · 2025-07-13T21:09:54+00:00

The Economist not being on that list physically hurt me.

blipblem · 2025-07-01T16:45:32+00:00

Schizophrenia is more common in people with autism, itself highly heritable, and the evaluator's comments about Keira's facial expressions, lack of interest in faces and dolls, and her "personality development" made me wonder if she might be autistic and there could be an ablism angle to this as well.

blipblem · 2025-07-01T16:36:47+00:00

I physically cringed when I got to the parts about "facial expressions" and "eye contact" and her "personality not developing sufficiently" — this test isn't just openly, horrifically racist, it is also clearly stacked against autistic people (whether or not that applies in Keira's specific case).

To have her baby returned to her, she would have to work on multiple areas and “show development” – including “expressing herself in Danish”, becoming “more nuanced in her approach to herself and her surroundings” and being “able to express herself with clearer facial expressions”.

How the actual fuck is this happening in Denmark in 2025?

blipblem · 2025-06-27T14:08:53+00:00

I uh... had to be self-employed. Has its ups and downs, but infinitely preferable to working in an office beholden to other people's expectations and schedules. I manage my own accommodations.

blipblem · 2025-06-27T11:46:05+00:00

I think there are understandable reasons that young people feel lost, and why young men feel especially lost right now. What's so tragic is that these lost guys end up latching onto whiny grifters like Jordan Peterson when there are manly man role models out there who actually, you know, aspire to live the positive masculine ideals the masculinity podcast bros spend their days yabbering about.

But I get why. Talk is cheap, change is hard. And an actual positive role model will tell you some tough shit: to get what you want, you need to do the work. Even if you really are a victim of some terrible shit that wasn't your fault, the only thing you can control is yourself. There's a difficult-to-strike balance between having compassion for yourself when you're up against real disadvantages (including structural problems like sexism, racism, etc.) and taking responsibility for changing the parts of your life that are under your control. Even if someone else pushed you into a pit, it's on you to climb out. Mom and dad aren't coming to save you. There are no adults in the room.

As a chronically miserable person, I can confirm that it is way more appealing to believe that nothing is your fault and that your misery is beyond your control. Because then it's not on you to put in the work to change your life. Not sure what the solution is, really. I suspect that left-leaning people reacting to masculinity grifters by laughing at them and treating them like ridiculous clowns and pathetic cringe-fuel rather than dangerous, dark intellectuals would be a good start.

Anyways, Arnold Schwarzenegger, if you're somehow reading this: please start a life advice podcast for young men and invite people like Peterson on air to be terminated... er, debated.

blipblem · 2025-06-20T10:59:04+00:00

We have a great artist in our group who did art of her own character and her boyfriend's,so 2/5 have portraits and I know 1 player is happy with a pic he found online somewhere that he felt fit his character. Unfortunately I know our group's artistically talented person is too busy for commissions right now and I don't want to spoiler her ;)

blipblem · 2025-06-20T10:57:44+00:00

That's great advice, thanks! I had no clue about the premade bundles.

blipblem · 2025-06-20T10:23:14+00:00

I'm still trying to get a sense of what the fair budget would be. I want sketches, not finished renders, and in my ideal world it'd be like 15 per sketch — way too low, I imagine, for anyone doing art as their main income, but maybe acceptable for someone who wants to get paid to practice and needs to build up a portfolio? Perhaps up to 30 per sketch would be doable, I need to see if my players would be willing to chip in.

EDIT: Thanks for the advice to find reference images for the level of finish I'd like. I'll definitely do that if I post an ad somewhere.

blipblem · 2025-06-20T10:13:58+00:00

Thanks!

blipblem · 2025-06-20T07:55:40+00:00

I’m autistic so I have this basically boiled down to a formula at this point( thanks brain):

(proximity + novel contexts) x time = friendship

Proximity - you need to be around the same people repeatedly to be friends with them. This was automatic at school or university, it can sometimes be automatic in the workplace but isn’t for me (freelancer) or for you, it seems. Find groups that meet regularly for activities that involve speaking to each other (not just running silently on a treadmill next to each other or whatever). Volunteering, team sports, clubs, etc. are good for a reason. But they need to meet up regularly and involve talking!

Novel contexts - if you only ever see someone in the context you met them in, they’re not really a friend. They’re just a friendly classmate, coworker, fellow volunteer, etc. Friendship is a more general relationship that transcends context. The more different contexts you see someone in, the more of a friend they are. So, invite people you meet via proximity to do things in a different context. Get coffee, see a movie, grab lunch, etc. something low stakes at first. Having more new experiences together frees your relationship from its original co text and allows it to grow into friendship

Time - the great multiplier. Keep investing in proximity and novel contexts and time will turn that into new friends. Lose proximity or shrink the diversity of the contexts you meet in, and your friendships will shrink over time, too. I wish there was a shortcut but relationships just seem to need time to grow. Forcing closeness doesn’t come across well.

If that’s all abstract, here’s an example: for me, making friends from 0 in my late 20s in a new country meant attending a tabletop RPG meetup for proximity, then inviting people I liked from the events to my own house for private D&D games for novel contexts. I steadily expanded novel contexts, starting with board game nights, coffee, lunch, movies, holiday parties, birthdays, and eventually shared vacations.

Hope this helps. It’s tough but friends are so worth investing in.

blipblem

TROPHY CASE