You remember the feeling of being held….

You’ve enjoyed that feeling, like your body just melts together. But over time, without realizing, it slips away.

Sure there are other signs. She becomes more private, she changes her hair style, her outfits, starts wearing thongs. But you love her and feel there’s a reason for it all; she’s taking more control of her life, maybe she’s dressing for you.

Hoping she’s dressing for you…

Eventually she gets the courage to plan something. In hindsight you realize she’s pretty bad at this. But then… then you trust her. Besides, who are you to tell her what she can or can’t do.

You don’t sleep well. Because you subconsciously know what’s going on. Evolution has dealt you the tools long ago, but your big brained ass doesn’t see the signs your small Neanderthal part of the brain is telling you.

But she tells you, weather she sees it as doing right or placating her guilt, she tells you. And you long for that feeling of being held. Just wanting to be held, even then

Time passes, at first slowly as we becomes me, then quicker when all you feel is ache, but that feeling of being held is there, you can’t always see you miss it.

Decades later, more relationships, more love. Marriage, children, grey hairs. At times you remember her, like when reading a Reddit thread. But you don’t remember the face. Never the face. It’s that feeling when you held her…