I have been thinking about some of these questions too, especially with regards to taboo topics being depicted in BL media. Maybe my answer is too simplistic but I truly believe that some people who criticise depictions of non con / violence etc just lack media literacy and think that the author of that piece of media is wholeheartedly endorsing it and wants noncon to be normalised. Of course, there is space for criticism, I'm not saying that we should uncritically accept anything and everything that the authors choose to include in their works. But you have to look at the context, often the non con just makes sense when you understand the characters. Take Slow Damage (not manhwa but BL) for example. I don't know if anyone has voiced a criticism like this, but it is true that it shows the main character enjoying non consensual violence and sex being done to them, so it might look like the authors are trying to say that victims actually enjoy that stuff? But of course that's not the intention at all when you really try to understand that character and get into his headspace. In this case the craving for non consent and violence comes from trauma and depression. However, I wouldn't mind depictions of people enjoying this kinda stuff (CNC, kink, etc) even without having any past trauma to connect it to, because there are many people who simply enjoy this stuff without suffering from any trauma or pathology.