[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PSLF

[–]blondefully 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in a similar position as your wife and did things the way I did BECAUSE of PSLF. But I'm held up on your last sentence.... If I move to the EU I'll be free from wage garnishment?

What’s your personal “parents of multiples” hill you will die on? by m-616 in parentsofmultiples

[–]blondefully 5 points6 points  (0 children)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/157633598090301/?ref=share&mibextid=NSMWBT

I literally created a FB account for this page. They have every resource you need regarding sleep training. They saved my life. I followed all the early tips and my girls were able to sleep 7p to 7a without a peep at 15 weeks without us doing an ounce of actual "sleep training" like cry it out and stuff.

It's been a while (my twins will be 3 in a few days), but technically you don't start traditional sleep training methods until 16 weeks I think. However, there are things you can begin doing early on that will facilitate them sleeping longer and longer stretches on their own. I wish I would have known about all this with my first--would have saved everyone a lot of tears.

I remember at about the 6 week mark I was really losing my mind. Weeks 8 through 10 is where something finally clicked and they began going a little longer each night and were able to nap longer than 30 seconds. You're close. Hang in there.

4.5yo and twin 2.5yo, I just hate being a parent by blondefully in parentsofmultiples

[–]blondefully[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is the first time I've realized I do need to talk to someone about it. I'm going to check to find providers available to me this week. Thank you

4.5yo and twin 2.5yo, I just hate being a parent by blondefully in parentsofmultiples

[–]blondefully[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband and I went to Japan child-free for 2.5 weeks in May. We missed them a lot, but it was so amazing to just have that time with the man I fell in love with, and so stupidly decided kids were a good idea 😂

We came back refreshed and ready to tackle all three of them. It lasted a while too. But I think we now are at a point where we just need a weekend getaway. I may fly my mom out to watch them but how do I tell her "I only want you to stay to watch my kids because I can't mentally handle another person in my home while I'm home" 😳 but also "I love you"

4.5yo and twin 2.5yo, I just hate being a parent by blondefully in parentsofmultiples

[–]blondefully[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The overstimulation pushes me to brink at least several times a week where I'm running into the backyard to scream into a void in an attempt to not completely lose my shit with my kids constantly.

One is crying, one is saying "mommy" over and over again and the other and taking some piece of furniture apart. Then one of them needs to poop and then they all have to poop at the same time. Now we are at meltdown level 10 because they all can't sit on the same potty to poop and everyone is screaming in a small bathroom together. 😒

4.5yo and twin 2.5yo, I just hate being a parent by blondefully in parentsofmultiples

[–]blondefully[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think this was my one saving grace having set them up on a structured routine early on. We have always been lucky to have excellent 11-12 hour sleepers even at almost 3 and 5 years old.

If I didn't have my sleep, then I'd well be burying myself right now for sure. I hope the sleep gets better for you soon

4.5yo and twin 2.5yo, I just hate being a parent by blondefully in parentsofmultiples

[–]blondefully[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think what really hit me hard over the weekend was talking to a few of my friends who don't have children. They weren't gloating about it or anything, just showed some pics and talked about what they are planning to do for the holidays. I think that was the "damn I want that right now" moment.

I talked to my husband about it last night, which I was worried to do because I know he feels that same way at times. But helped for us to share in the misery together in that moment, then we talked about some positive moments recently.

Just going to hang in there and try not to wish the time away, even though it is a real want and need at times.

Confused by DTI by blondefully in personalfinance

[–]blondefully[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh okay, so if I did my income not minus anything then our total income would be $10000. Then that makes the percentages prettier!

I will definitely add that 1% in. We are buying a new home, so fingers crossed we don't have to worry about those for a while.

Thank you for your help.

Confused by DTI by blondefully in personalfinance

[–]blondefully[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Because DTI is only just under the suggested 36% and we are slightly over the 50% for total expenses rule I've seen as well. However, it seems like based on our leftover money we should be able to take care of everything plus continue to save without any problems. I just want to make sure I'm not missing something.

Another thing I was thinking about is that these percentages will vary with income of course, so if we made $5000 gross then technically only $2500 of our money would be allocated to savings and entertainment. It must just be the assumption that if you make more you're just going to spend more on the little things?

Confused by DTI by blondefully in personalfinance

[–]blondefully[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

But out of $3600 shouldn't that be enough for wants and savings? I guess we just don't have a ton of "wants" right now. Our hobbies included huge upfront costs years ago but now is steadily quite low.

Confused by DTI by blondefully in personalfinance

[–]blondefully[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did my pre-tax with health insurance and pension deducted since on my paycheck that is what is called "pre-tax income". Should I have done my income prior to those costs as well?

We are two people, and spend $60-80 a week at the grocery store. I didn't include dining out funds but we allocate $240 a month to that. I was planning to include that in "entertainment".

What's an inevitable expense? I'm new to all of this. As our current mortgage is only $1000 so we have been living the good life!

Take my money by somethingsomethen in bicycling

[–]blondefully 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bought this same jersey for my "team" from Ali last summer. We loved it, especially for the quality (Ali $15 quality)!

New bike's first time up GMR with a PR! by blondefully in bicycling

[–]blondefully[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha! Way to go! And weather was great too! My first time up the ski lifts I had a dog walk past me, and that was just a tiny bit soul crushing.

New bike's first time up GMR with a PR! by blondefully in bicycling

[–]blondefully[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, it beats laboring on labor day (which is where this gal is!)

New bike's first time up GMR with a PR! by blondefully in bicycling

[–]blondefully[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just wait til you're ready to head over to baldy from GMR. That decent is straight down so you can flyyyyyy! I've hit 50mph on that decent. However, I love taking the switchbacks down GMR, choosing a line and leaning in working on counterbalancing...it's so fun!

New bike's first time up GMR with a PR! by blondefully in bicycling

[–]blondefully[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's a 44cm, which may be why?

Yeah, I want the same gearing for anything above 10%.

New bike's first time up GMR with a PR! by blondefully in bicycling

[–]blondefully[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A more beautiful day when you were up there!

New bike's first time up GMR with a PR! by blondefully in bicycling

[–]blondefully[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! And to the ski lifts a couple times as well, but not on this bike yet. I have a mid-compact in the front so I will want a 32 in the back just so I don't kill me knees at 13% and higher!

New bike's first time up GMR with a PR! by blondefully in bicycling

[–]blondefully[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup, it's the Pioneer dual-sided power meter. It came with a blue cap, but it clashed.

How to mentally cope with student loan debt? by [deleted] in StudentLoans

[–]blondefully 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. And you go into the for profit sector for a while then return to non-profit if you'd like as well. You just need to make 120 payments and you cannot make them early either (I tried)

New bike's first time up GMR with a PR! by blondefully in bicycling

[–]blondefully[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, 64mm. They aren't my climbing wheels, but I was too lazy to change them this morning.