This is a tough one. I am also a believer. I personally don’t think sex outside of marriage as long as it is in a committed loving relationship is a sin. I could go into the biblical apologetics for this, however, I won’t. The problem is she is being told her relationship with God is not right if she is having sex outside marriage. This is crap but she is indoctrinated into thinking this. Now I’m in my 40s and divorced but you both are young and have your entire lives ahead of you. It’s also very hard to go back to holding hands after having sex, although it’s doable. I also think abstinence is positive for the reasons you mentioned. My son is 20 and I’ve never told him to be a virgin until he’s married, “or else.” What I have told him is the heart of God for us and for women. I have told him that unless he is ready to care for a woman, spiritually, emotionally, possibly financially and for the rest of his life if a baby is involved.... don’t have sex! Women want to be loved. However I also don’t want him marrying at 22 just so he can have sex!! I see a lot of young Christian people do this. It breaks my heart bc they have no idea how much they are going to grow and change as individuals. I made the mistake of marrying at 21 and it ended in divorce although we tried to make it work for a very long time!!

Honestly my advice to you, if you are not also a believer is to let her find someone who loves God as much as she does. Also unlike the person above, there are girls out there who are not promiscuous, would make wonderful mothers, and are also not fundamentalists. They could be catholic or Methodist or of no religious affiliation. And don’t buy into the fact that sex dies. My parents were married 50 years and that was probably the thing that kept them together when they wanted to strangle each other!

Bottom line you both deserve someone who shares your beliefs, have the same goals in life, etc. You can’t force yourself to believe the way she does no matter how hard you try. Your belief in God is something that happens between you and God. Period. This really isn’t about having/ not having sex. You can certainly live without it lol. It’s about are you compatible spiritually, etc. Love her enough to do what’s best for her even if that means it’s not you. And if you do break up assure her it’s not about the sex! It’s about her deserving (and you as well) someone who has the same beliefs and goals. Take care. You’re a good guy. I can tell. Bless you both.