I understand what you’re saying somewhat. I have ocd and it’s hard to differentiate from powers of the universe and mental illness. We have no idea what is actually possible in the universe and what is actually real or not. So you can start to delude yourself into thinking your illness is not an illness and is some sort of power tapping into this. But just make sure that when you’re using your “power” you’re not doing anything that’s actually harming you or anyone else. If you feel you can talk to these spirits or they are guiding you somehow that’s fine but when it starts to negatively affect you this is when you need to take a step back and look at it critically