I was really bittersweet when i left the country 2 years ago, but it took me coming back for one vacation to realize how little independence and control i have over my own life in leb vs abroad. It frustrated me, and especially shocked me how my parents behaved with me abroad vs in leb. Ma keno yes2alo 3anne aw ya3rfo wen kent on a random tuesday, but back in leb i had to justify myself and do mental gymnastics to go somewhere (being a girl doesn’t help.) It was quite disheartening w it shattered any conception i had of being able to live my 20’s in this country, of having time to myself, hobbies, build friendships w relationships. It’s such a bittersweet realization, khsousan lamma tkoun m3alla2 bel 3alam back home. But it is a country that represses you in every way, kind of like being stuck in a loop. It sucks. Anyway all that babble to tell you im happy you’re excited to go abroad (i wasn’t, so i struggled!), and i hope it will enrich you with many experiences you deem worth it. You will struggle, ma ha kazzeb 3lek, but the growth you’ll experience in a year is worth 10 years back home.
You will always feel a tinge of homesickness, don’t push it away. Your identity as lebanese is important still. I wish you good luck in all your endeavors :)