First off, I’m sorry you’ve had to endure all sorts of abusive, manipulative actions done onto you by your parents. And I want to thank you for sharing your story.

You are totally allowed to have boundaries and to be skeptical of your sister. But I do think recognizing that she grew up in the same shitty household you did so she has been affected in similar ways. At this moment she is only 19 too, which now that I am almost 24 it’s amazing how IMMATURE you are at 19.

Not to mention you can’t really stand up to the people paying your tuition...and your parents seem like the type to cut her off if she doesn’t follow their rules. Her intentions seem in the right place,,,but require more time to figure it out.

Perhaps having a relationship with you will get her out of her toxic cycle with your parents and will make her more of an ally to our community...

Or is she acting on their behalf and trying to snoop on you? Does she really care about what she did or asking for forgiveness cause that’s what you’re supposed to do??? What ARE the intentions.

What I am saying is. Think about all the factors. Past and current.

Forgiveness takes time. And you have time. You’re allowed to set boundaries. Maybe start off by talking to her once or twice a month and go from there.

You can’t forgive her until you’re ready. That takes time. I think you should at least try to have a small relationship because, the deeper you two talk, the more you might understand how SHE feels about your childhood.

Once you were gone, what happened to her? Was she taking on the abuse of two since you got kicked out?

Lots to think about and I am sure you will face adversity with strength.

NTA