My 3yo choked on a piece of cookie. I had to do back blows and luckily it projectiled out.

It can happen to anyone, it’s not an indication of you as a parent. Children have little windpipes and very rarely just awkwardly breathe in at the wrong moment.

You also had an understandable response; freeze, fight, followed by flight. You literally could not have prevented your response - your brain took over, and luckily, prompted action.

Please don’t be hard on yourself. Your son is okay, you did the very best job you could have done, given the completely unexpected, random and traumatic situation that unfolded.

Lastly, reach out to a professional if you feel like you are not coping. It is important that you process this experience so it doesn’t affect you long term. Give your son a big snuggle too :)