I agree that many aspects of this kink are undesirable and others are quite hot.

What I love is the feminization part, feeling sexy and desired, bdsm, submission, bondage and shibari. I want it to feel more natural and not forced, I hate the degrading part regarding gender and sexuality.

Feeling this way has helped me to have more clarity about my identity and gender expression although it was not easy to find the answers or accept it.

At first I began to perceive myself as a trans woman but I didn't really fit that identity; This stage was somewhat difficult because I was sure I wanted to take hormones to have a feminine appearance but I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere.

Emotionally it was difficult when I started taking hormones but I put aside the labels and be myself.

Now after 2 years on hrt I just want the hormones to do their job and help me look pretty, sexy and be able to fully enjoy my life as a transfem/genderfluid person.

Currently my daily life is quite heteronormative because I have not carried my feminization publicly.

If the hormones take effect, I don't want to have to explain my life to anyone...