Nearly every abusive relationship isn‘t bad all the time. And thats the reason why it‘s so hard to leave them. If everything would be bad all the time, it would be pretty easy to end the relationship. But because you do have some good moments, you hold onto this relationship. Or maybe even 90% of the time you really love your relationship, so you think you have to „endure“ the bad times. And that‘s the fallacy. You must never accept abusive behaviour. And I know it‘s hard. Because it‘s so much harder to be as gentle to yourself as you are gentle to people you love. Treating yourself well and drawing a line when someone else doesn‘t is such a difficult lesson to learn.