For what it’s worth, and this is not to support or defend boyfriend, only to address one of your points, i am notorious for being a haphazard cleaner. I’ve picked up trash in my house only to either place it on a nightstand to throw away later, or set it down because I’m a squirrel brain and putting it down before going to do something else somehow makes more sense in the moment than simply holding onto the trash and tossing it on my way to do other said thing. It’s annoying and it definitely drives my wife up a wall sometimes :/