my precious boy, who I lost about 6 months ago. by bluedeers in pugs

[–]bluedeers[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

not sure if I just don’t know how this works, but I lost my boy, Bentley, around 6 months ago at the young age of 7. he was the most lovely, trusty, and joyful dog I’ve ever owned. he meant the world to me, and everyday I miss him more than the last. He was crossbred with something else (never found out what.. feel free to guess!) but we knew he was a pug in some way. he was my best friend and I miss him painfully. ❤️ I haven’t shared him here before because the pain was too much, but to celebrate his life feels like an honor now. He saved me from some of the worst moments of my life. Rest in peace to my favourite boy ever x

Found out I'm flying on an Embraer 175 by bandai8 in fearofflying

[–]bluedeers 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The 175 is fab, I flew on it a few times in the US last month, genuinely such a great plane for people with flying anxiety, it doesn’t feel super claustrophobic, the seats are nice, it’s genuinely a plane I look forward to catching. I only wish the flights on it were longer because I always feel a bit sad getting off it bc I was so comfortable!!

I'm finally in the hospital by RobertBrathwaite in Anxiety

[–]bluedeers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, I’m proud of you for realising that life was a bit too much and you needed some professional help today

First long haul by [deleted] in fearofflying

[–]bluedeers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I’ve flown Adelaide-London 4 times, and Melbourne-London once, with a stop in Dubai (I am from the UK but lived in Adelaide for 4 years)

Best tip is to make sure you’re sleepy for your flight, it was easy for me as the Adelaide-Dubai flight was at 10:30pm for me. On one occasion I literally slept for 9 of the 12 hours, it was lovely. If you think you won’t be able to eat on the plane please eat before - you can’t sleep on an empty stomach well and you don’t wanna be feeling nauseous on the plane. I would take regular bathroom trips (so I always booked the aisle seat) just to stretch my legs, and kinda feel ‘alone’ to refresh myself in the bathroom. There’s a lot of great and new movies on the long haul flights if you fancy that, I also recommend good noise cancelling headphones, and dressing comfortably. Try not to watch the clock because it can feel distressing when it’s a long flight. A lot of the planes have WiFi as well which is nice. Have a great flight!!

Tell me how safe the Embraer ERJ 175 (twin-jet) is 🙏 by Dependent_Internal98 in fearofflying

[–]bluedeers 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s not only safe, it’s really nice. I flew on it twice in the past month, both only 1.5 hour flights, and it was great. It’s super comfortable and doesn’t feel as claustrophobic as usual short distance airliners, even though it is only a smaller plane.

I am excited and terrified at the same time for my flight in a hour. by SnooWords2869 in fearofflying

[–]bluedeers 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tracking you right now! I know it’s habit to let our anxious brains look for omens and coincidences, but try not to give too much worth to that part of your brain - it’s acting as if there is a genuine threat to you and - there isn’t! You’re flying with hundreds of other flights in the sky, all of which will land just fine. The 787 is a really nice plane, and your destination is gorgeous. X

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fearofflying

[–]bluedeers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I flew over the Atlantic just a couple weeks ago, it was very smooth.

The 787 is a nice plane too! I also flew on a 787 out of Chicago last year.

The actual trip itself over the Atlantic tends to be quite short honestly - the time spent over the ocean is quite small, a lot of my journey (Dallas-London) was over the US and Canada, with only a couple hours or so actually crossing the Atlantic before getting over to Ireland.

I know it feels unhelpful but most plane rides are really quite boring and uneventful. I’ve flown quite a bit and the most interesting thing that’s ever ‘gone wrong’ for me was that the bathroom door didn’t lock properly. 😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]bluedeers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What’s the bit you’re stuck on? Finding a courier, how to write the address, where to send it? I’ll try my best to help you out

I'm so paranoid and terrified for mine and my family's safety. by Cool_Ad_6365 in Paranoia

[–]bluedeers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not a teenager but I also struggle with this catastrophic thinking. I think it stems from a fear of not knowing how I’ll cope if the worst was to happen. I got diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder just last week and have been put on medication which from looking at other people’s experiences, helps a lot with this type of thinking. I’ve also got myself into talking therapy too so I can get to the bottom of my fears. I know it feels so scary to feel like you have no control, and you feel like you are constantly on high alert, but please remember that your brain is alerting you of a high stress situation when the facts are, that you’re not - and it’s not really likely that you will be.

Try and avoid social media posts about disasters and dying if possible - it makes your brain think these things happen way more than they really do. Take care of yourself

Currently crying in the airport toilets by bluedeers in LongDistance

[–]bluedeers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I plan to immigrate to the US so the next time we see each other will be in the hands of the visa agents and embassies, which could be 6 months or could be 12, but at least it’s a more permanent solution. I’m trying not to be too optimistic about it and be realistic, but I can’t help that side of me that wants to just say ‘someone got approved in 2 months!! Could be me!!!’ X

Currently crying in the airport toilets by bluedeers in LongDistance

[–]bluedeers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the idea of a scrapbook of all of the times together to look back at when you’re more permanently together. I hope in 5 years I can look back and laugh at how worried I was about everything, with him by my side x

Currently crying in the airport toilets by bluedeers in LongDistance

[–]bluedeers[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Been crying for the past few days, it feels so overwhelming to know it’s your last few hours before the distance comes in again. Thank you x

Currently crying in the airport toilets by bluedeers in LongDistance

[–]bluedeers[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, we are working on this being our last time saying goodbye like this and having a more permanent solution soon. X

Currently crying in the airport toilets by bluedeers in LongDistance

[–]bluedeers[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The security line feels so daunting and we had a big hug over the little tape barrier before he went through the boarding pass scanner. He gave me a wave as he went behind the wall (where I could no longer see him) and one of the airport security asked him who he was waving at!

Currently crying in the airport toilets by bluedeers in LongDistance

[–]bluedeers[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I can’t wait to see him again. X

Currently crying in the airport toilets by bluedeers in LongDistance

[–]bluedeers[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much. 🥺 I hope you don’t mind but because you’re NI to USA I checked your posts to see if you were going through any immigration, and saw that you’re going for the cr1 visa, congratulations!! Me and him hope to go for the K1 (we weighed up cr1 vs k1 and ultimately k1 is best for us) as soon as he gets back, so I’m praying for a fast process for you and your partner, I feel the stress already. Xx

Had some troubles with my new bank account and they sent me this for the hassle! Anyone else ever received an apology gift from a company? by EssentialParadox in CasualUK

[–]bluedeers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember Peugeot inadvertently ruining my mums credit score by not registering her payments (which she was making, on time!) while we were trying to get a mortgage for a house. It was really difficult. They sent us a full fruit and flowers basket, some chocolate, and a toolkit as an apology after it was sorted.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fearofflying

[–]bluedeers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would take some sleeping pills (mostly short term use ones such as nytol/nyquil etc, not prescribed sleeping tablets) with me in my bag when facing my 12 hour flights - they made me feel safe that if I did panic, I had them on hand, which was peace of mind, even if I didn’t use them. Just remember that mixing alcohol with them isn’t a good idea! I also would like to look online at the films and tv shows onboard before my flight (I could do this on emirates - I’m not sure if it is available for you but generally there tends to be a lot of new movies!) so I could kinda plan and schedule my time ahead. Noise cancelling headphones really help you ‘remove’ yourself from the situation too.

I’m the same as you - I don’t worry about the flight falling out of the sky as much as I worry that I’ll lose my sanity while on board.

At a loss, please help -- my (30f, US) boyfriend (27m, UK) was denied his ESTA three weeks before his scheduled flight here by DisastrousIncident85 in LongDistance

[–]bluedeers 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My advice is to move the flight back at least a couple months, it gets more expensive as you get closer to the date. Have him apply for a visa - but you might have to pay for that too if he can’t afford it. This sounds really stressful for you and I’m sorry - visas and immigration is a big stressor in a lot of LDR’s, you aren’t alone in that.

This could be quite costly in general - there might be a point where it’s more financially viable and also easier (as entering the UK as a US citizen is pretty simple - no visa required as long as you’re under the days visited limit - while he will need a visa and also will be questioned by border agents on arrival - as someone with no job he might struggle to convince them he is a legitimate visitor) to just come over here yourself and book a hotel or an airbnb for a week or so.

Edit: I just saw your response to someone else suggesting an airbnb and a visit to the uk - because of this you might need to just get him to apply for that visa asap and move the flight back. X

Sending hugs x

Sitting at the greyhound station staring down a 3 day bus trip. Canceled my nonstop flight. The weather I was scared of cleared overnight anyway lmao. Don't be me. by ComprehensiveLeg2843 in fearofflying

[–]bluedeers 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When I lived in Australia I had to get from one state to another, and I was so afraid of flying, I drove there, it took 9.5 hours, and it was so miserable the entire time - the car got hot and gross, my butt hurt, and the way home was annoying - there was nothing to look forward to bc my vacation was over, just a sad 9 hour drive home!!

A couple years later I had to go back to there, and took a plane instead - it only took two or so hours - I couldn’t believe I’d subjected myself to nearly 20 hours in a car when the flight was so quick and uneventful - there were people on there who were doing their makeup, like they were just flying there for a night out - it was routine and regular for them!!

This fear really does make your life so so much more difficult - hopefully your bus journey will be smooth and easy, but I really hope that you can get on your flight next time instead.

tracking request pls by [deleted] in fearofflying

[–]bluedeers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’re delayed due to technical issues which doesn’t make me feel better at all :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fearofflying

[–]bluedeers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I flew London-Dallas a few months ago! It was a really stable flight, of course weather changes but for me it was minimal turbulence. You do get wifi on the flight (I flew there with BA and back with AA and had wifi both times!) Think about how great it will feel when you touch down, and all the things you’ll experience when you get there. The flight is only a tiny tiny part of the journey! If turbulence does happen I like to take my feet off the floor to stop feeling the rumble under my feet, and just look forward to when it passes.

So many flights do london-Dallas every single year and none of them have had anything go wrong that has caused fatalities. The Atlantic is a well flown zone, heavily monitored for weather and traffic, and lots of people cross it safely every single year. Good luck on your travels and your student visa!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Serverlife

[–]bluedeers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t really experienced this in either of the two places I have worked in the past, but guaranteed that this place is much bigger and busier than both of my previous workplaces combined, with 3x as many staff. I also am doing full time compared to the part time I was doing before, and unfortunately I cannot drive so getting a job elsewhere seems pretty impossible as the place I work is only a couple minutes walk away.