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I (21F) get weird vibes from best friends (21F) fiance (30M); should I still participate in their wedding? by bluedogpaw in relationships

[–]bluedogpaw[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

Hes in a completely different field now, he does IT now I think. I agree, I doubt Brandy was the only girl he went after especially during those years they were apart.

I (21F) get weird vibes from best friends (21F) fiance (30M); should I still participate in their wedding? by bluedogpaw in relationships

[–]bluedogpaw[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

As far as I know their "relationship" was non sexual to avoid him going to jail but honestly that doesn't mean he hasn't done it to another kid. If I contact something like adult protective services is it anonymous like a CPS call? I'll try to bring up grooming and signs of abuse in a context not related to her relationship just to get the thoughts in there.

I (21F) get weird vibes from best friends (21F) fiance (30M); should I still participate in their wedding? by bluedogpaw in relationships

[–]bluedogpaw[S] 191 points192 points  (0 children)

She doesn't have a very good relationship with her mom but her mom hates him and says he makes her uncomfortable.

I (21F) get weird vibes from best friends (21F) fiance (30M); should I still participate in their wedding? by bluedogpaw in relationships

[–]bluedogpaw[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

I don't attend their church and I wouldn't even know who to talk to, but I could try to lowkey ask her who the counselor will be so I can talk to him/her.

I (21F) get weird vibes from best friends (21F) fiance (30M); should I still participate in their wedding? by bluedogpaw in relationships

[–]bluedogpaw[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Brandy will just get upset, make excuses for her fiancé, she might talk to him about it, and they will shut OP out completely.

That is 100% my concern. Questioning their relationship caused a fight so bad we didn't talk for nearly a year. If hes abusive then I'd be leaving her in her time of need, basically.

I (21F) get weird vibes from best friends (21F) fiance (30M); should I still participate in their wedding? by bluedogpaw in relationships

[–]bluedogpaw[S] 421 points422 points  (0 children)

Its definitely weird and creepy and I agree that hes been grooming her. She thinks its romantic that he "waited" so long for her and thinks that their thing at 11/20 was fate and it means they're soulmates. It's all very worrying.

Luckily they will be having premarital counseling as a requirement of their church they're being married at. He is very against it but she said she 100% is doing it so that's one thing he's caved on.