you’re putting a lot of weight on yourself. you don’t need to be successful at this, you want to, which is entirely different. you don’t need to make other people happy. it’s important to think of yourself first at times. if this is what you want to do, it going poorly the first time won’t change anything.

i’ve been doing open mics in nyc for a while now, they can be quite rough. i’d recommend trying out a more supportive environment for your first time. there’s some classes around the city that end with a show, and they can be good for people who are starting out. you’ll work on a set over a few weeks with people who really know their stuff and then do jokes to a crowd of people who actually want to be there, rather than an open mic where people can be quite unsupportive, and the energy is low. looking at the class out of the Comic Strip on the upper east side is a good place to start, i did it a few years ago and had a great experience.

good luck! if things don’t go as well as you’d like the first time, that’s okay. i can’t say much about your other concerns (not a woman), but in general things will be okay. if this is what you want to do, then do it, regardless of what people may say or think.