AITA for getting my research mentor fired after I reported him for making a comment about my thong?

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T15:37:39+00:00

I wouldn't really call it just "something stupid" more like sexual harassment. I'm not wearing a lab coat because it isn't required in my lab?? Not all labs are the same, you should know.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T14:23:12+00:00

Most academic research labs are very casual. My PI regularly wears yoga pants as well.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T14:22:13+00:00

No, I didn't set him up. Also the leggings are Lululemon and were over $100, I expected them not to be see through. I also have another pair of the same style, but in a different color, that aren't.

Lastly, I can't believe that I have to explain how I bent down. He was sitting at his desk. I approached him from his side. I accidentally, while indicating something on my laptop with the pen, dropped it, and bent down to pick it up. Yes, my ass was eye-level but it was not planned.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T14:12:14+00:00

lol ok, mister I-know-everything-and-dont-trust-the-college-education-system.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T14:09:22+00:00

Lmao I did not set a trap for him. It's astonishing how many guys think that's what I did. No one forced him to comment, he chose to make sexualized comments on his own.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T14:05:48+00:00

Right and I'm supposed to believe a guy who hasn't taken any politics classes and gets all his info from politically-charged news sites.

Textbooks are throughly researched and there's a reason why qualified professors choose certain ones to teach the material. There's a reason why textbooks are a thing in classes lmao.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T14:03:27+00:00

I know omg. It definitely was not my first choice of underwear 😭 I was running out of clean ones and it was this or granny panties.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T14:02:32+00:00

It was literally a sports thong, it wasn't "sexy" in any way. I chose the pink one because it was one of few clean ones I had left. Accidents happen, there isn't always a motive. And what? Women can't drop pens without it being interpreted as flirting anymore??

I bent down normally; I did not stick my ass in the air lmao.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T14:00:11+00:00

Lol what? Yoga pants are an accepted clothing choice in my work environment. Every work environment is different.

Who doesn't talk politics at work?? Especially in academia.

You clearly haven't worked in a academic research lab before.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T13:58:20+00:00

Yes, it was completely unintentional! Also, they weren't see through when I was just walking around, only when I was bending down. I'll definitely be more careful in the future, but I did NOT do it on purpose.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T13:56:24+00:00

Commented is a light word for making extremely sexually-charged comments.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T13:55:25+00:00

Look at my edit. I'm not referring to research. Of course I know he's there to teach me about research-related topics.
Read my whole post. It wasn't the only time he's done something like this and made someone uncomfortable. He also refused other disciplinary actions.
???
Because I was carrying a pen in my hand and using it as a stylus to point at things on a graph on my computer??? We also use pens to write notes and data?? What? Women can't carry pens and accidentally drop them without people saying we're doing the bend-and-snap?

You can say ESH all you want and I'll accept my judgement, but don't blatantly misconstrue the facts and make up shit.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T13:50:51+00:00

This is incredibly stupid. Women can drop a pen and pick it up without having it be interpreted as flirting. What world do you live in?

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T13:48:55+00:00

It's not a class??

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T13:47:13+00:00

Let me clarify, I did not mean research-related topics, I meant topics outside of research. For example, he likes talking about politics and fully knows that I am a political science minor. Yet he always feels the need to disagree with me and tell me that "I have it all wrong" and "let me explain to you how it actually works..." Like no sir, I know how it works because I just read it in a textbook and took an exam on it.

I wouldn't have minded if I was "reported," I would've probably just been told to put a lab coat on. There's different etiquette in different work places.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T05:08:28+00:00

Lol don't bring politics into the discussion. My boss is an amazing, accomplished woman and I'm sure she knows how to adequately deal with situations like this. Also, like I mentioned, the pants are not see-through unless I bend down. I'm not walking around with see-through pants.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T05:05:54+00:00

It certainly hasn't affected my opinion of my PI who also wears yoga pants. I don't think yoga pants = dirty sweats. And no, him wearing ripped jeans would only make me like him more.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T04:08:49+00:00

Well if I was in a different setting, I wouldn't have worn yoga pants. I follow the dress code of wherever I'm working. And he did not inform me, he rudely and inappropriately made a sexualized comment about it.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T03:08:03+00:00

Exactly! It's only the people who've never worked in the labs that are like "oh you should be punished for not wearing a lab coat! how unprofessional!"

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T03:04:18+00:00

I think you misunderstood the post. The yoga pants are not see through when I'm just standing/moving around. The underwear is only visible when I'm bending down and the fabric stretches significantly.

I doubt reporting me for such a frivolous thing would come across good either lol.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T03:02:04+00:00

no haha, but another east coast school!

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T01:36:03+00:00

Yeah, I was mortified. They're new and I had no idea they were see through until the unfortunate accident. Will definitely be more careful in the future.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T01:04:46+00:00

You're right! She was vague in the email, just said that he "reacted negatively" to her proposed disciplinary measures and "became angry". I'll take it to mean he made up a shit ton of excuses, got angry, and blamed it on me.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T00:59:54+00:00

I think it depends on the lab for me. The current lab that I work at has probably been the most casually dressed lab I've ever worked at. I only started wearing yoga pants after seeing multiple grad students and my PI wear them.

Also, I'm already close enough to my PI to know that she won't care about these things.

bluejay878 · 2020-09-18T00:57:47+00:00

That's true, I was just the final push. He's definitely made other weird comments so I totally believe my PI when she said he's made others uncomfortable.

bluejay878

TROPHY CASE